pcos
Episode 108–Childless not by Choice ‘For Sale, Baby Shoes, Never Worn’
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I would also like to thank everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.
Welcome to episode 108
- Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Let’s jump right in!
‘For sale: baby shoes, never worn.’–Ernest Hemingway.
Some say this was a short story Ernest Hemingway was asked to write. Some say this story pre-dates him. To me, regardless of the origin, it sounds like a story prompt. You know the prompts your English or history teacher probably gave you, and then you had to come up with the rest of the story.
What is the rest of the story, your story? Why not use this story prompt to write your story. Write the story you would like to see play out for the rest of your life, not the life you wish you had. Your life. Be realistic, be positive, be truthful, be kind.
If you feel like sharing, send your letter in and I will read it on a future episode.
Before we move on, I would like to thank my Patreon contributors for their monthly financial contribution to the platform.
And becoming a Patron just got easier. The link https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice is now on the http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net website. Just go to the home screen, look to the left below the telephone, and you will see the Patreon link.
Clicking the link takes you to the Patreon site where you can choose whichever level of contribution fits your monthly budget. It’s that easy! Your contributions are appreciated!
And by the way, that telephone on the website, there is a link below it that allows you to leave me a 90-second message. Give me a shout out. I may play your message on a future episode!
Thank you to:
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
- Jordan Morgan
- Ivy Calhoun
- Sandra Carzado
- Your Name Here
In this episode, I want to talk about depression for a moment.
According to Google, the definition of depression is 1.) ‘feelings of severe despondency and dejection.’
We’ve all been there. I remember feeling the most depressed during my 30’s. Probably because that was when everyone I knew was getting married and having kids. I kept asking God what was wrong with me. What was it about me that other people seemed to see that I did not? I questioned everything about myself. How tiresome that was!
If you are going through the same thing now, I totally get it but try turning the conversation around in your head.
Start telling yourself good things. It may seem forced at first but keep at it. There are some great affirmations on the Home page of the website, http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net. Check them out.
You see, if you don’t like you, no one else will. And if you don’t speak positive things to yourself, all of the negativity from the negative people around you will seep through with no filter. Be your own filter. Create healthy boundaries. Smile as you protect yourself from the ugliness of the world. You are here. Make the best of it.
Because the alternative, I’ve been there. It is not something many of us want to admit. It has taken me 108 episodes to finally admit to depression. It’s not an easy thing to talk about even to a trusted friend. I have been depressed over my childlessness. Depressed over the fact that my life did not turn out as expected–having a family, like normal people. I have wondered why I am on this planet. I mean really, what’s the point? What do I do now?
What do I do with that innate need that 99.99% of women and men have, to want children? We see children as a way to carry our essence into the future. I wanted to pour all of my knowledge into a little vessel that had my features. I wanted to teach that little person how to get along with everyone, how to use a knife and fork, how to make it in the big city or in the wide open country. I did not get to do that. Now my branch of the family tree has come to an abrupt end. How depressing is that?
Well, here are five things you can do to look that tree branch in the face and overcome the depression that can come with an abrupt ending you did not see coming.
- Give to your local community: time/practical items/finances/life experiences/knowledge.
- Ask for help from a health and wellness professional, i.e. a therapist for the mental and emotional issues. Get an exercise coach for your physical well being. When you feel good, or at least better about yourself, depression is less likely to hang around, at least not as long as it would have otherwise.
- Plan for your future. Put away as much as you can for your retirement, get rest and exercise, as mentioned above, and be aware of programs in your community that are there to help you as you age, and based on your age.
- Fight for your mental and emotional wellbeing. This means creating healthy boundaries between you and your family and friends. I created an entire course on how to create kind but firm boundaries. . Remember, even during those times when you ask yourself why you are here unless they are trusted confidants who understand your struggle, your family and friends do not need to know. That is what your therapist is for. It’s not that you are pretending to be OK. Pretending to be OK would be opting not to admit you are depressed or opting not to see a therapist. You just can’t tell everyone everything. You may have not had the horrible opportunity, but there are people who exist that like to kick a person when they are down. Protect your heart. And remember, even if you are all by yourself, you are a family unit. Do not allow anyone to speak negatively into your spirit and your soul about that.
- Carry on. Yes, push through no matter what. Feelings come and go. Do not allow a temporary feeling to prompt you to make a permanent decision. I am not sure who said that, but it is so true. Get the help you need, take care of yourself, and carry on. All will be well as long as you do not stop along the way, to dwell on what was not to be. It was not to be. If it were, it would have happened–naturally or by your doing what was needed to be done to make it happen, i.e. adoption. Don’t beat yourself up if the adoption fell through, or the engagement broke off. Trust me when I tell you I am thankful for the day I broke off what I later realized would have been a nightmare! Anywhoo!
Recently I was interviewed on a podcast where the host asked if I had ever considered suicide. Well, here is my answer. I did not consider it, but if you have, I get it. But don’t do it. I sometimes wondered what it would be like just not to be here. Would I be missed? Yes, the answer is yes. We would be missed. Not by the children we did not have. In some cases probably not by family members. Which is very sad but it’s the world we live in.
You would be missed by the impression you would have made on this planet. The impression you are making now. The impression you are working on making now. Don’t give up. Man or woman, do not give up. You are the contribution to this world! Your talent is the contribution. Your existence is the contribution. Hang in there. Push through those valley moments.
Take that sad story prompt I mentioned at the beginning of the episode, and make a beautiful story out of it. That’s the wonderful thing about us as human beings, we can turn the ugliest, saddest prompts, into the most beautiful stories.
Do you have suggestions for pushing through depression? Let me know so that I can share it with your fellow listeners.
Thank you for tuning in to episode 108. I posted some great links in the show notes for you on mental health, depression, and counseling for those of us who become depressed over our childlessness.
The show notes are always chock full of great content created just for you.
Be sure to check them out!
Remember to leave me a message from right there on the website, or become a patron by clicking the Patreon link from the website.http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net.
Until next time, bye!
Articles used for this episode:
https://www.womenshealth.gov/mental-health/mental-health-conditions/depression
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/what-is-depression
https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/involuntary-childlessness-depression.htm
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Childless not by Choice ‘For Sale, Baby Shoes, Never Worn’
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I would also like to thank everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.
Welcome to episode 108
- Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Or
Visit the website at http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Let’s jump right in!
‘For sale: baby shoes, never worn.’–Ernest Hemingway.
Some say this was a short story Ernest Hemingway was asked to write. Some say this story pre-dates him. To me, regardless of the origin, it sounds like a story prompt. You know the prompts your English or history teacher probably gave you, and then you had to come up with the rest of the story.
What is the rest of the story, your story? Why not use this story prompt to write your story. Write the story you would like to see play out for the rest of your life, not the life you wish you had. Your life. Be realistic, be positive, be truthful, be kind.
If you feel like sharing, send your letter in and I will read it on a future episode.
Before we move on, I would like to thank my Patreon contributors for their monthly financial contribution to the platform.
And becoming a Patron just got easier. The link https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice is now on the http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net website. Just go to the home screen, look to the left below the telephone, and you will see the Patreon link.
Clicking the link takes you to the Patreon site where you can choose whichever level of contribution fits your monthly budget. It’s that easy! Your contributions are appreciated!
And by the way, that telephone on the website, there is a link below it that allows you to leave me a 90-second message. Give me a shout out. I may play your message on a future episode!
Thank you to:
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
- Jordan Morgan
- Ivy Calhoun
- Sandra Carzado
- Your Name Here
In this episode, I want to talk about depression for a moment.
According to Google, the definition of depression is 1.) ‘feelings of severe despondency and dejection.’
We’ve all been there. I remember feeling the most depressed during my 30’s. Probably because that was when everyone I knew was getting married and having kids. I kept asking God what was wrong with me. What was it about me that other people seemed to see that I did not? I questioned everything about myself. How tiresome that was!
If you are going through the same thing now, I totally get it but try turning the conversation around in your head.
Start telling yourself good things. It may seem forced at first but keep at it. There are some great affirmations on the Home page of the website, http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net. Check them out.
You see, if you don’t like you, no one else will. And if you don’t speak positive things to yourself, all of the negativity from the negative people around you will seep through with no filter. Be your own filter. Create healthy boundaries. Smile as you protect yourself from the ugliness of the world. You are here. Make the best of it.
Because the alternative, I’ve been there. It is not something many of us want to admit. It has taken me 108 episodes to finally admit to depression. It’s not an easy thing to talk about even to a trusted friend. I have been depressed over my childlessness. Depressed over the fact that my life did not turn out as expected–having a family, like normal people. I have wondered why I am on this planet. I mean really, what’s the point? What do I do now?
What do I do with that innate need that 99.99% of women and men have, to want children? We see children as a way to carry our essence into the future. I wanted to pour all of my knowledge into a little vessel that had my features. I wanted to teach that little person how to get along with everyone, how to use a knife and fork, how to make it in the big city or in the wide open country. I did not get to do that. Now my branch of the family tree has come to an abrupt end. How depressing is that?
Well, here are five things you can do to look that tree branch in the face and overcome the depression that can come with an abrupt ending you did not see coming.
- Give to your local community: time/practical items/finances/life experiences/knowledge.
- Ask for help from a health and wellness professional, i.e. a therapist for the mental and emotional issues. Get an exercise coach for your physical well being. When you feel good, or at least better about yourself, depression is less likely to hang around, at least not as long as it would have otherwise.
- Plan for your future. Put away as much as you can for your retirement, get rest and exercise, as mentioned above, and be aware of programs in your community that are there to help you as you age, and based on your age.
- Fight for your mental and emotional wellbeing. This means creating healthy boundaries between you and your family and friends. I created an entire course on how to create kind but firm boundaries. . Remember, even during those times when you ask yourself why you are here unless they are trusted confidants who understand your struggle, your family and friends do not need to know. That is what your therapist is for. It’s not that you are pretending to be OK. Pretending to be OK would be opting not to admit you are depressed or opting not to see a therapist. You just can’t tell everyone everything. You may have not had the horrible opportunity, but there are people who exist that like to kick a person when they are down. Protect your heart. And remember, even if you are all by yourself, you are a family unit. Do not allow anyone to speak negatively into your spirit and your soul about that.
- Carry on. Yes, push through no matter what. Feelings come and go. Do not allow a temporary feeling to prompt you to make a permanent decision. I am not sure who said that, but it is so true. Get the help you need, take care of yourself, and carry on. All will be well as long as you do not stop along the way, to dwell on what was not to be. It was not to be. If it were, it would have happened–naturally or by your doing what was needed to be done to make it happen, i.e. adoption. Don’t beat yourself up if the adoption fell through, or the engagement broke off. Trust me when I tell you I am thankful for the day I broke off what I later realized would have been a nightmare! Anywhoo!
Recently I was interviewed on a podcast where the host asked if I had ever considered suicide. Well, here is my answer. I did not consider it, but if you have, I get it. But don’t do it. I sometimes wondered what it would be like just not to be here. Would I be missed? Yes, the answer is yes. We would be missed. Not by the children we did not have. In some cases probably not by family members. Which is very sad but it’s the world we live in.
You would be missed by the impression you would have made on this planet. The impression you are making now. The impression you are working on making now. Don’t give up. Man or woman, do not give up. You are the contribution to this world! Your talent is the contribution. Your existence is the contribution. Hang in there. Push through those valley moments.
Take that sad story prompt I mentioned at the beginning of the episode, and make a beautiful story out of it. That’s the wonderful thing about us as human beings, we can turn the ugliest, saddest prompts, into the most beautiful stories.
Do you have suggestions for pushing through depression? Let me know so that I can share it with your fellow listeners.
Thank you for tuning in to episode 108. I posted some great links in the show notes for you on mental health, depression, and counseling for those of us who become depressed over our childlessness.
The show notes are always chock full of great content created just for you.
Be sure to check them out!
Remember to leave me a message from right there on the website, or become a patron by clicking the Patreon link from the website.http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net.
Until next time, bye!
Articles used for this episode:
https://www.womenshealth.gov/mental-health/mental-health-conditions/depression
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/what-is-depression
https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/involuntary-childlessness-depression.htm
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Episode 106–The Rest of the story
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I would also like to thank everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.
Welcome to episode 106!
- Patreon Contributors: I would also like to thank my Patreon contributor Ivy Calhoun for her monthly financial contribution to the platform. Whether you contribute via patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, or you go to the website and contribute via PayPal, your contributions are appreciated and used to help the platform get the word out. Thank you!
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
- Ivy Calhoun
- Your Name Here
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Or
Visit the website at http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
- We are going to one episode per month starting in March.
- I am working a day job now.
- Honoring my parents.
- The Podcast will continue on!
- If this podcast, this platform, has helped or encouraged you; make a contribution toward helping create awareness and conversation.
- Your patronage, Paypal contributions, and product purchases help the podcast.
- Thank you for tuning and staying plugged in with us!
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Episode 106–The Rest of the story
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I would also like to thank everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.
Welcome to episode 106!
- Patreon Contributors: I would also like to thank my Patreon contributor Ivy Calhoun for her monthly financial contribution to the platform. Whether you contribute via patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, or you go to the website and contribute via PayPal, your contributions are appreciated and used to help the platform get the word out. Thank you!
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
- Ivy Calhoun
- Your Name Here
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
- We are going to one episode per month starting in March.
- I am working a day job now.
- Honoring my parents.
- The Podcast will continue on!
- If this podcast, this platform, has helped or encouraged you; make a contribution toward helping create awareness and conversation.
- Your patronage, Paypal contributions, and product purchases help the podcast.
- Thank you for tuning and staying plugged in with us!
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Episode 99–Childless not by Choice woman gets raw and real
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I am also reaching out to everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.
Welcome to episode 99!
I would like to thank my sponsor Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765. Their email address is
www. Morganair.net
Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate.
Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it.
I have some VIP’s I need to give a shout out to!
- Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
- Jordan Morgan
- Ivy Calhoun
- Your Name Here
Episodes mentioned:
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/childless-not-by-choice-shame/
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-88-finding-hope-today-my-interview-with-licensed-therapist-christy-jordan/
Special thank you to:
Devoted, the musical duo who created my theme music. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, visit their website at http://www.devotedministry.org.
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, or any of the following apps: Stitcher, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Episode 99–Childless not by Choice woman gets raw and real
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I am also reaching out to everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.
Welcome to episode 99!
I would like to thank my sponsor Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765. Their email address is
www. Morganair.net
Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate.
Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it.
I have some VIP’s I need to give a shout out to!
- Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
- Jordan Morgan
- Ivy Calhoun
- Your Name Here
Episodes mentioned:
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/childless-not-by-choice-shame/
Special thank you to:
Devoted, the musical duo who created my theme music. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, visit their website at http://www.devotedministry.org.
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, or any of the following apps: Stitcher, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Episode 98–Pet Therapy for the Childless not by Choice Demographic
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I am also reaching out to everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.
Welcome to episode 98!
I would like to thank my sponsor Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765. Their email address is
Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate.
Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it.
I would also like to thank Devoted, the musical duo who created my theme music. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, visit their website at http://www.devotedministry.org.
Well, I have some VIP’s I need to give a shout out to!
- Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
- Jordan Morgan
- Ivy Calhoun
- Your Name Here
Michelle Link
As the last of their six children are now grown, Michelle Link and her husband of 29 years have opted to continue the energy and chaos of family in their home, by adopting dogs.
Training their three Goldendoodles has become Michelle’s passion, which ultimately culminated in the therapy dog certification of their girl, Murphy.
Michelle volunteers with Murphy in several capacities as a therapy dog team, but she is also inspired to educate and encourage others, sharing the life-changing benefits she’s discovered in her personal relationship with Murphy.
Questions:
1)Murphy is a Goldendoodle–Therapy and emotional support dog,
does the type of dog matter for training and certification?
2) One of the things I learned from you in our pre-interview conversation was that there is a difference between a ‘Prescribed emotional support dog’, and a ‘certified’ dog; What’s the difference?
And then what is the difference between a companion pet, an Emotional Support Animal, and a Service Dog?
3) Other than your own experiences with pets, are you aware of any studies that support the benefits of a relationship with a pet?
‘American Journal of Critical Care Study’
‘Mass General Study, women who had at least one child and a pet…’
FMRI Study…levels of oxytocin’.
4) When did you personally realize the healing value of a relationship with dogs?
5) Speak to us about the fact that there is value in having fur babies, and that doing so does not diminish or minimize those with pets who happen not to have children?
Michelle’s contact info:
Instagram: @therapyteammurphy
Articles and links just for you:
https://positivelywoof.com/pet-calendar-year-at-a-glance/
The following link is for your enjoyment:
https://www.yahoo.com/gma/woman-removed-plane-boarding-emotional-support-squirrel-105012179–abc-news-topstories.html?.tsrc=fauxdal&guccounter=2
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless, not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice.
Until next time! Bye!
Episode 98–Pet Therapy for the Childless not by Choice Demographic
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I am also reaching out to everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.
Welcome to episode 98!
I would like to thank my sponsor Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765. Their email address is
Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate.
Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it.
I would also like to thank Devoted, the musical duo who created my theme music. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, visit their website at http://www.devotedministry.org.
Well, I have some VIP’s I need to give a shout out to!
- Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
- Jordan Morgan
- Ivy Calhoun
- Your Name Here
Michelle Link
As the last of their six children are now grown, Michelle Link and her husband of 29 years have opted to continue the energy and chaos of family in their home, by adopting dogs.
Training their three Goldendoodles has become Michelle’s passion, which ultimately culminated in the therapy dog certification of their girl, Murphy.
Michelle volunteers with Murphy in several capacities as a therapy dog team, but she is also inspired to educate and encourage others, sharing the life-changing benefits she’s discovered in her personal relationship with Murphy.
Questions:
1)Murphy is a Goldendoodle–Therapy and emotional support dog,
does the type of dog matter for training and certification?
2) One of the things I learned from you in our pre-interview conversation was that there is a difference between a ‘Prescribed emotional support dog’, and a ‘certified’ dog; What’s the difference?
And then what is the difference between a companion pet, an Emotional Support Animal, and a Service Dog?
3) Other than your own experiences with pets, are you aware of any studies that support the benefits of a relationship with a pet?
‘American Journal of Critical Care Study’
‘Mass General Study, women who had at least one child and a pet…’
FMRI Study…levels of oxytocin’.
4) When did you personally realize the healing value of a relationship with dogs?
5) Speak to us about the fact that there is value in having fur babies, and that doing so does not diminish or minimize those with pets who happen not to have children?
Michelle’s contact info:
Instagram: @therapyteammurphy
Articles and links just for you:
https://positivelywoof.com/pet-calendar-year-at-a-glance/
The following link is for your enjoyment:
https://www.yahoo.com/gma/woman-removed-plane-boarding-emotional-support-squirrel-105012179–abc-news-topstories.html?.tsrc=fauxdal&guccounter=2
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless, not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice.
Until next time! Bye!
my interview on the That Anita Live Show
My interview with That Anita Live was done in 2017, so a couple of changes since then: The name of my Podcast is Childless not by Choice, and I do blog about childlessness. I really enjoyed this interview, and I hope you will too!
Episode 74–End of year update 2017
Hello hello, hello everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome back to another episode of Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.
- Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)
Click the link below to become my next Patreon Subscriber:
- Podcaster Sarah Williams of The Tough Girls Podcast
- Jordan Morgan
In this episode, I update you on the final episodes of 2017, and the first two episodes of 2018! So much good stuff to look forward to!
November 13, 2017—End of year update episode
November 27, 2017—GRATITUDE, Thankfulness
December 11, 2017—The war against fibroids, my interview with Halona Black
December 25, 2017—Special Christmas episode! Final episode of 2017
- 2017 was a long year in some respects, but it also seems like it flew by!
- I am currently working on my 2018 goals, are you?
- It is important for us to think and speak positively! At the beginning of 2017, I said I would concentrate on health, fitness, and nutrition, not knowing how and when I would do it. But I ended up having quite a few episodes/interviews on mental and physical health as well as nutrition. I even got to interview a real live bodybuilder! Everything came together just from my saying so. Be wise with your words!
- We also had the opportunity to discuss how to deal with grief (the August episodes).
- The November 27 episode will be all about GRATITUDE! Write one thing you are thankful for and by November 30th we will have 30 items, things we are thankful for!
- Our December 11 episode will be on nutrition as well as how to manage those crazy fibroids!
- Our December 25 episode will be happening! It will be a special episode. Be on the lookout!
- Our January episode will be a two-part episode that I believe is an encouraging way to get the new year started off on the right foot!
- Don’t forget to leave me a message from my website! Yes, go to the website, http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net. Look to the right and click on the tab that says ‘send voicemail’. It’s that easy!
Well, the group is growing. And I am so thankful! There are a lot of childless not by choice groups on Facebook now, so if you are having trouble finding us, just send me a message! I will point you in the right direction.
November makes three years since I started this platform from scratch! It’s been quite the journey! And I am looking forward to continued growth!
Closing: Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @civilla1
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
Please help me out by taking this very short survey!
https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah
Until next time! Bye!
Episode 70–Waiting Wombs Trust, My Interview with Founder Hadassa Trip
Hello everyone, Civilla Morgan here!
Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life; although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.
Remember to tell your friends about the show, and feel free to share and re-share to your social media followers! I would appreciate that!
Thank you’s:
- Thank you for your FB re-shares and your Twitter comments and re-tweets. It is always appreciated.
- Individual thank you’s:
- Shout outs: Thank you to those who have purchased a copy of my devotional or taken the course, ’10 Days to Creating Kind but Firm Boundaries’. Every penny received goes right back into the platform.
- Thank you to my Patreon Supporters! You all encourage me to keep on keeping on!
Money received is used for:
- Monthly payment to my podcast distributor.
- Monthly payments to my Podcast Producer.
- Podcasting equipment such as microphones, headphones, paid recording software, etc.
- Purchase and maintenance of a classroom for future online courses.
- Website maintenance.
Hadassa says “I founded Waiting Wombs Trust, an organization that brings together couples, women, men who have walked the child waiting journey and succeeded on are still in wait. We also create awareness about childlessness.
We support such by sharing experiences, encouraging and waiting together.
We have also partnered with some doctors to help needy cases or just waiting wombs in general. Childless couples and mostly women go through a lot.”
Interview questions:
- Tell us why you chose the name Waiting Wombs project, tell us about the project.
- Tell us about your Facebook Group. It’s a large group! Are most of the people from the continent, are they based in Kenya?
- How do the men deal with the group, are they involved at all?
- How long has the Waiting Womb project been in existence?
- How do you encourage women and couples who are waiting?
- Do you get the ‘why don’t you just adopt?’ question over there? And do you get unwanted commentary from strangers and family?
- How do you overcome moments of sadness?
Hadassa’s Contact information:
http://www.waitingwombstrust.org
Facebook: Waiting wombs (ww)
Closing:
Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. If you found value in this episode, or the podcast and platform in general, feel free to visit the donation jar on the website, stop by iTunes and leave me a rating and review, and of course tell a friend.
If you would like to make a regular donation to the platform, visit my Patreon page and get set up. Every donation will go back into the platform. $1.00, $5.00, $10.00, any amount is appreciated!
Thank you to my current Patreon Supporters:
- Podcaster Sarah Williams of The Tough Girls Podcast
- Jordan Morgan
Click the link below to become my next Patreon Subscriber
https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
Please take a moment to take this survey!
https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah
Until next time, bye!
Episode 68–Is Childlessness a Crisis? Caplan’s Theory of Crisis
Hello, everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.
Thank you’s:
- Thank you for your FB re-shares and your Twitter comments and re-tweets. It is always appreciated.
- Individual thank you’s if any:
Thank you, Lily, for your email thanking me for the newsletter and for the podcast. That means a lot to me as I continue to create content for us.
Remember, you may register for the newsletter or listen to any podcast episode by simply visiting http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net. I have created and am creating content for you on a regular basis, and it’s all on the website.
Well, today I am going to discuss a subject of which I knew nothing, but for which I use regularly as my platform’s byline. It’s a funny thing about not knowing what we don’t know, isn’t it?
All through the platform, in all my intros, I say that ‘you can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life.’ Never realizing that thought process could possibly have its roots in a sociological or psychological process for coping.
As many of you know, I wanted children more than anything on this planet. I managed pain and embarrassment for a decade attempting to buy time to possibly have a child. Ultimately, it did not happen. I wanted to have a child or children with someone who would help me raise them. I really could not imagine raising a child by myself, although at one point in my 10-year journey I did consider IVF as I started to run out of time, and after two failed attempts at adoption.
I finally scheduled the surgery that would end my physical pain, embarrassing monthly accidents, and any hope I had left, of ever having a child.
I fought and struggled my way through sadness, bitterness, shame, fear, feeling like a second-class citizen, battling all the negative thoughts that tried to take up residence in my mind.
I made the decision, the choice; to journey to a place of acceptance and realization that I would not have the children and the lifestyle I had expected. I had to decide: what kind of life would I have? Would I allow myself to live as a self-imposed second-class, shamed, and embarrassed about my situation citizen? Or would I make the decision to speak out about my situation knowing there were millions of women experiencing a similar journey? Women who were and are hiding in plain sight?
Would I be willing to face down the critics who asked why I could not just get over it, or my favorite…’why don’t you just adopt?’ Those of us in the childless not by choice community love that question. I think that’s our favorite question.
Could I really convince women around the world, and men, that they really could live joyful and relevant lives? Would they believe me? Do I believe me?
Some days I believe it, some days I ask myself who am I kidding? I have my moments, especially around Mother’s Day, where I feel like I am fooling myself. It is around that time that I feel like a fraud.
http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-64-i-feel-like-a-fraud/
But the alternative was scary. Depression, sadness, fear, bitterness, envy…I could not and cannot imagine living the rest of my life with those feelings as my narrative. There had to be an alternative.
There will be moments of sadness weaved into the tapestry of our journey, but deep down, even during those moments when I feel like a fraud when I don’t believe me; I know I made the right choice. The choice to be relevant and joyful. The choice to help others. I decided that the negative alternatives were just not an option.
And remember, choice does not just happen. It is a process. There will be good days and there will be bad days. But underlying the ups and downs is the choice, the decision.
So here is my point: It turns out that my byline of living a joyful and relevant life is much the same as Caplan’s Theory of Crises. What is Caplan’s Theory of Crises? I’m glad you asked:
‘Caplan (1964) initially defined a crisis as occurring when individuals are confronted with problems that cannot be solved. These irresolvable issues result in an increase in tension, signs of anxiety, a subsequent state of emotional unrest, and an inability to function for extended periods. James and Gilliland (2005) define crises as events or situations perceived as intolerably difficult that exceed an individual’s available resources and coping mechanisms. Similarly, Roberts (2000) defines a crisis as “a period of psychological disequilibrium, experienced as a result of a hazardous event or situation that constitutes a significant problem that cannot be remedied by using familiar coping strategies” (p. 7). The Chinese translation of the word “crisis” consists of two separate characters, which paradoxically mean danger and opportunity (Greene, Lee, Trask, & Rheinscheld, 2000). Crisis intervention thus provides opportunities for clients to learn new coping skills while identifying, mobilizing, and enhancing those they already possess. The following are characteristics of crisis events:
- The event precipitating the crisis is perceived as threatening.
- There is an apparent inability to modify or reduce the impact of stressful events.
- There is increased fear, tension, and/or confusion.
- There is a high level of subjective discomfort.
- A state of disequilibrium is followed by rapid transition to an active state of crisis.
Crisis Intervention is an immediate and short-term psychological care aimed at assisting individuals in a crisis situation to restore equilibrium to their biopsychosocial functioning and to minimize the potential for long-term psychological trauma.
The two things I really liked about the above information: are the last sentence, and how the Chinese created two paradoxical characters to equate to crisis.
*** It is so important to quickly work on minimizing the potential for long-term psychological trauma. Many people are afraid to go see a psychologist or psychiatrist, but it is important to see one immediately after a traumatic experience or crisis.
In life, there will be trauma. There will be crisis. But there is also hope. Which leads to the other thing I liked: the meaning of the Chinese two-character definition of crisis: danger and opportunity. Those two words: danger and opportunity, are not typically used in the same sentence. But isn’t it wonderful that the Chinese thought of the possibility of hope even during trauma, during crisis? Even in crisis, there is hope.
Hope is what I hung onto for ten years, until my final surgery. I could have lost all hope after that surgery, but I decided to create a new hope. It didn’t happen overnight. Sometimes choice is a process.
You may have had to take a left turn. Maybe that IVF treatment failed yet again, and you cannot afford any more treatments. Maybe you had to finally have a hysterectomy. Totally not what you had planned. And while trying the treatments, or trying to hang onto that uterus, you had hope. But now that those hopes have been taken away, you must manifest a new set of hopes.
Life is a journey. You know that as well as I do. There will be ups and downs, back tracks, winding roads, fear, sadness, happiness, guilt, strengthening events, clueless people making clueless comments, and seemingly mentally weakening events. But throughout the entire journey, we must hang onto hope.
I’ve put the Kaplan’s Theory of Crisis graph in the show notes. It is a pictorial graph of the progression of how we deal with crisis: before, during, and after.
If you look at the graph, you will see how many of us are going along, managing life, pre-crisis. But during the crisis which I call the ‘glass half full or half empty’ visual, the affected person’s coping mechanism drops precipitously, but then there are three levels of recovery.
In the green level, you can see that the person recovered to higher than where they were before the crisis. Another person recovered to just about where they were or just a little lower.
But a third person’s coping capacity was seriously diminished. They did not recover per se, they either just checked out of life, or it would not take much to send them over the edge. Their mental, emotional, may be even physical state, is fragile.
I believe the hope that you may have held onto at the outset of the crisis, or a new-found hope post crisis, is what helps a person to recover above and beyond that seriously diminished capacity to cope.
This is how important hope is. So, I am asking you to hang onto hope or find a new hope if life did not turn out the way you expected. If you do not have that baby you hoped for. If you never have that baby. If you must watch women around you have child after child after child. Knowing some of them consider their children mistakes. Watching some of them give up their little girls out of tradition. Exchanging their children for that next drug induced hit. Even killing their children.
I know I have asked you to do this in previous episodes, but I am going to ask you again: whenever you hear about or see these heartbreaking stories, pray for the child. Help where you can, and find new hope. Recover to higher than where you were pre-crisis. Do not allow this crisis to take you to a place of hopelessness and diminished capacity to cope. Have hope!
Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. If you found value in this episode, or the podcast and platform in general, feel free to visit the donation jar on the website, stop by iTunes and leave me a rating and review, and of course tell a friend.
Citations:
https://uk.sagepub.com/sites/default/files/upm-binaries/14229_Chapter5.pdf
Tags:
Suicide, childlessness, loss, barrenness, PCOS, miscarriage, infertility, fibroids,
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
Hashtags:
#civillamorgan #21stcenturyhannah #childlessnotbychoice
Remember to tell your friends about the show, and feel free to share to your social media followers! I would appreciate that!
Please take a moment to take this survey!
https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah
Until next time, bye!
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