choice
Episode 114–The Holidays, The Loneliest Time of the Year
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life! Welcome to episode 114!
Happy December!
This episode is brought to you by the ‘Your Blueprint for your Goals and Visions’ program which can be found on the shop page of our website, http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, It is literally a template, a blueprint that I created after years of researching how successful people plan for the new year. It’s simple. For a small investment in yourself this new year, download the template, fill in the blanks, and follow your decisions monthly, quarterly, bi-annually, and annually. The sooner you download the template, the sooner you can get a jump on the new year.
You have the freedom to tweak and change what you want in the template, but the key is to work with the template throughout the year, allowing it to help you. You get to witness your own mental, emotional, spiritual, and even physical growth! Place your order on the website and get to work on you!
Patreon Contributors: I would like to thank my Patreon contributors. Remember, you may contribute via patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, or you may go to the website and click on the donate button. Your monthly contributions via Patreon or your one-time donations are appreciated and used to help the platform to get the word out. Thank you!
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
- Jordan Morgan
- The Knights
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Or
Visit the website at http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
It’s December! We are now smack dab in the middle of the Holiday Season, and 2019 is coming to a close! It’s been a tough year for many of us. I know some of us are ready to see it go bye-bye! If you are in the United States or you are an ex-pat, we celebrated Thanksgiving last month. I hope you had a wonderful family get together. And if you kept your own company, that’s great too. You know we introverts love our own company!
So, there are a lot of changes taking place. I am finding that losing a parent changes you to the core. From big things to little things. The stages of grief are real. They are real no matter what or whom we grieve.
Remember, if you are grieving any type of loss, the holidays can tend to exacerbate those feelings. Here are just some of the things you can do to take the edge off whether you are navigating being childless during the holidays, or grieving the loss of a loved one:
- Seek therapy, and try to do so well before the Holidays so you get a head start on the feelings and emotions the Holidays can manifest. But either way, it is never too late to strengthen your mental health.
- Speak to a trusted friend or religious leader. Talking to a good listener is a great release.
- Take a bubble bath and take a good book to read or listen to. Or take Netflix, Amazon Prime, or your favorite TV app and watch a great movie! Don’t forget the Epsom salts and lavender!
- Go for a walk along your favorite lakefront, street, or neighborhood.
- Sit at the coffee shop with a good beverage and a nice book.
The key is to do these things right in the middle of the holidays. Don’t worry about being judged because you will probably be judged anyway. If you need to talk, be sure to join the Facebook group, Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan.
I will be in the Facebook group throughout the season. And of course, the other admins will be in there as well. Also, the other ladies in the group are quite friendly and responsive. If you are feeling alone, come over to the group. There will always be someone there to talk to.
Well, hopefully, you were not looking for October and November episodes. I took a much needed two-month hiatus. This just meant I used that time to work on this episode, content for 2020 episodes, work on my new limited-edition podcast, and the list goes on. Yet, I appreciated the break. Thanks for understanding. In fact, I have decided that going forward, I will be taking October and November off. Sometimes it takes an overwhelming loss, and being overwhelmingly tired, to make a change you did not ever think you would. And those changes turn out to be just what was needed.
In fact, some podcasters operate in seasons, like a television show. I never wanted to do that. Maybe it was FOMO–fear of missing out. Maybe I felt like I did not have enough episodes in the library. Maybe I was competing with myself. At any rate, it was just such a great break! I will be taking October and November off each year, moving forward.
About the blog! It has been many months since I last blogged. I did not realize how much I missed it! I will put a link in the show notes to my most recent blog, but I want to read a portion of it here if you don’t mind:
‘Unfortunately, some people do not know how to either let kids be kids or move to another location, so they verbalize their aggravation, and that of course, can make most parents upset. I believe even childless people know that children need room to grow physically, mentally, and emotionally.
If someone says something mean to a mother about her child, it still should not be assumed that person does not and should not have children. If that is the thought process, who is being mean now?
Look, I believe the reason society continues to propagate that mothers are more important than childless women is due to the innate need for humans to perpetuate the species. This means we will continue to hear mean spirited thoughts and belief systems spilling out of people’s mouths. They may not mean to be mean, in every instance. But the fact is, society tends to believe that once a woman has a child she is elevated to a special place, while childless women remain low on the totem pole. We are seen as society’s packing peanuts.’
Be sure to click the link in the show notes to read ‘the rest of the story!
So, here’s the thing, we are heading into another year! 2020! What would you like to peel off of your life and toss into the garbage this year? You probably have not quite thought about it that way have you? But we are all works in progress. At least we should be. There is no perfect, or completely ‘done’ human. We all have triggers, we all have doubts, we all have fears, we all have hopes and dreams. You may be thinking you are too old to dream. Or maybe you think it is too late for the dreams and plans you had.
But may I remind you that you can change your dreams. Not because you are wishy-washy, but because life has twists and turns. We can either work on navigating the twists and turns or stay stuck on what did not happen for us. Let’s not stay stuck there. Life is too short. Look, I have the same ups and downs you do. There are times, especially during the Holidays that I am surrounded by people I love, but I am lonely as all get out. And please, no attempts to set me up. I’m not interested. I am trying to make a point. We ALL have ups and downs. And I know this because we are all human, and the ups and downs are a part of the human condition. It is how we manage our ups and downs and not allowing life’s circumstances to manage us, which makes the difference.
We have to practice recognizing triggers, recognizing when those negative feelings are coming for a visit, and turning them away at the door. We turn the negative feelings and triggers away at the door with the list of things I mentioned above, bubble baths, walks, talking to a trusted friend, seeing a therapist.
And knowing our strengths and weaknesses. Knowing whether or not we can go to a baby shower or to a children’s birthday party. The choice is all yours! If you never got the chance to listen, I will put a link to the episode on triggers in the show notes. Please listen to it. We all have triggers and the whole world will not know what triggers you. But when YOU know what triggers you, you will know how to manage those triggers so that you do not explode on those around you. Look, we don’t want or need people to walk on eggshells around us. The goal is for us to get along without being made to feel less than by others or by ourselves.
So I am asking you, What changes would you like to make about you, for you, in 2020?
Thanks for tuning in today! Don’t forget to visit the Tee Public online merchandise store. There you will find content: t-shirts, hoodies, laptop cases, mugs, etc.with the Childless not by Choice logo! Every purchase means a contribution to the Childless not by Choice platform. Thank you!
Well, thanks for tuning in. See you next year! Bye!
Articles of interest:
https://www.getreligion.org/getreligion/2019/11/29/big-think-story-what-does-religion-have-to-do-with-slumping-global-birth-rates
https://yle.fi/uutiset/osasto/news/childlessness_trend_continues_in_finland/11082035
Advertisements and mentions:
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/2019-blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/beware-here-comes-the-holidays/
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/
Episode 114–The Holidays, The Loneliest Time of the Year
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life! Welcome to episode 114!
Happy December!
This episode is brought to you by the ‘Your Blueprint for your Goals and Visions’ program which can be found on the shop page of our website, http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, It is literally a template, a blueprint that I created after years of researching how successful people plan for the new year. It’s simple. For a small investment in yourself this new year, download the template, fill in the blanks, and follow your decisions monthly, quarterly, bi-annually, and annually. The sooner you download the template, the sooner you can get a jump on the new year.
You have the freedom to tweak and change what you want in the template, but the key is to work with the template throughout the year, allowing it to help you. You get to witness your own mental, emotional, spiritual, and even physical growth! Place your order on the website and get to work on you!
Patreon Contributors: I would like to thank my Patreon contributors. Remember, you may contribute via patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, or you may go to the website and click on the donate button. Your monthly contributions via Patreon or your one-time donations are appreciated and used to help the platform to get the word out. Thank you!
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
- Jordan Morgan
- The Knights
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
It’s December! We are now smack dab in the middle of the Holiday Season, and 2019 is coming to a close! It’s been a tough year for many of us. I know some of us are ready to see it go bye-bye! If you are in the United States or you are an ex-pat, we celebrated Thanksgiving last month. I hope you had a wonderful family get together. And if you kept your own company, that’s great too. You know we introverts love our own company!
So, there are a lot of changes taking place. I am finding that losing a parent changes you to the core. From big things to little things. The stages of grief are real. They are real no matter what or whom we grieve.
Remember, if you are grieving any type of loss, the holidays can tend to exacerbate those feelings. Here are just some of the things you can do to take the edge off whether you are navigating being childless during the holidays, or grieving the loss of a loved one:
- Seek therapy, and try to do so well before the Holidays so you get a head start on the feelings and emotions the Holidays can manifest. But either way, it is never too late to strengthen your mental health.
- Speak to a trusted friend or religious leader. Talking to a good listener is a great release.
- Take a bubble bath and take a good book to read or listen to. Or take Netflix, Amazon Prime, or your favorite TV app and watch a great movie! Don’t forget the Epsom salts and lavender!
- Go for a walk along your favorite lakefront, street, or neighborhood.
- Sit at the coffee shop with a good beverage and a nice book.
The key is to do these things right in the middle of the holidays. Don’t worry about being judged because you will probably be judged anyway. If you need to talk, be sure to join the Facebook group, Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan.
I will be in the Facebook group throughout the season. And of course, the other admins will be in there as well. Also, the other ladies in the group are quite friendly and responsive. If you are feeling alone, come over to the group. There will always be someone there to talk to.
Well, hopefully, you were not looking for October and November episodes. I took a much needed two-month hiatus. This just meant I used that time to work on this episode, content for 2020 episodes, work on my new limited-edition podcast, and the list goes on. Yet, I appreciated the break. Thanks for understanding. In fact, I have decided that going forward, I will be taking October and November off. Sometimes it takes an overwhelming loss, and being overwhelmingly tired, to make a change you did not ever think you would. And those changes turn out to be just what was needed.
In fact, some podcasters operate in seasons, like a television show. I never wanted to do that. Maybe it was FOMO–fear of missing out. Maybe I felt like I did not have enough episodes in the library. Maybe I was competing with myself. At any rate, it was just such a great break! I will be taking October and November off each year, moving forward.
About the blog! It has been many months since I last blogged. I did not realize how much I missed it! I will put a link in the show notes to my most recent blog, but I want to read a portion of it here if you don’t mind:
‘Unfortunately, some people do not know how to either let kids be kids or move to another location, so they verbalize their aggravation, and that of course, can make most parents upset. I believe even childless people know that children need room to grow physically, mentally, and emotionally.
If someone says something mean to a mother about her child, it still should not be assumed that person does not and should not have children. If that is the thought process, who is being mean now?
Look, I believe the reason society continues to propagate that mothers are more important than childless women is due to the innate need for humans to perpetuate the species. This means we will continue to hear mean spirited thoughts and belief systems spilling out of people’s mouths. They may not mean to be mean, in every instance. But the fact is, society tends to believe that once a woman has a child she is elevated to a special place, while childless women remain low on the totem pole. We are seen as society’s packing peanuts.’
Be sure to click the link in the show notes to read ‘the rest of the story!
So, here’s the thing, we are heading into another year! 2020! What would you like to peel off of your life and toss into the garbage this year? You probably have not quite thought about it that way have you? But we are all works in progress. At least we should be. There is no perfect, or completely ‘done’ human. We all have triggers, we all have doubts, we all have fears, we all have hopes and dreams. You may be thinking you are too old to dream. Or maybe you think it is too late for the dreams and plans you had.
But may I remind you that you can change your dreams. Not because you are wishy-washy, but because life has twists and turns. We can either work on navigating the twists and turns or stay stuck on what did not happen for us. Let’s not stay stuck there. Life is too short. Look, I have the same ups and downs you do. There are times, especially during the Holidays that I am surrounded by people I love, but I am lonely as all get out. And please, no attempts to set me up. I’m not interested. I am trying to make a point. We ALL have ups and downs. And I know this because we are all human, and the ups and downs are a part of the human condition. It is how we manage our ups and downs and not allowing life’s circumstances to manage us, which makes the difference.
We have to practice recognizing triggers, recognizing when those negative feelings are coming for a visit, and turning them away at the door. We turn the negative feelings and triggers away at the door with the list of things I mentioned above, bubble baths, walks, talking to a trusted friend, seeing a therapist.
And knowing our strengths and weaknesses. Knowing whether or not we can go to a baby shower or to a children’s birthday party. The choice is all yours! If you never got the chance to listen, I will put a link to the episode on triggers in the show notes. Please listen to it. We all have triggers and the whole world will not know what triggers you. But when YOU know what triggers you, you will know how to manage those triggers so that you do not explode on those around you. Look, we don’t want or need people to walk on eggshells around us. The goal is for us to get along without being made to feel less than by others or by ourselves.
So I am asking you, What changes would you like to make about you, for you, in 2020?
Thanks for tuning in today! Don’t forget to visit the Tee Public online merchandise store. There you will find content: t-shirts, hoodies, laptop cases, mugs, etc.with the Childless not by Choice logo! Every purchase means a contribution to the Childless not by Choice platform. Thank you!
Well, thanks for tuning in. See you next year! Bye!
Articles of interest:
https://yle.fi/uutiset/osasto/news/childlessness_trend_continues_in_finland/11082035
Advertisements and mentions:
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/2019-blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/beware-here-comes-the-holidays/
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/
Episode 105–My interview with Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.
Welcome to episode 105!
•Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Jordan Morgan
Ivy Calhoun
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Bio/Intro:
Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos (Sig- DIN – us) is an author, blogger and women’s health advocate. She emerged as a reluctant spokeswoman in 2008 after a health reporter from The New York Times asked if she’d be willing to openly discuss her infertility experience. Pamela discussed the stubborn persistence of the infertility condition and the lack of a cultural framework to process the losses associated with being childless not by choice. The New York Times feature story that resulted produced astonishment and relief that someone candidly addressed the trauma of failed IVF and legacy of infertility.
Soon thereafter she wrote what became an award-winning book called Silent Sorority. It became the first memoir on infertility not authored by a mother, Pamela’s writing explores the complicated, disenfranchised grief and identity issues that accompany involuntary childlessness. Now more than a decade outside of the grief she once felt so viscerally, she educates and writes about the false promises and limitations of reproductive medicine and the personal and social impacts that accompany failed IVF.
She is the co-founder of the grassroots initiative ReproTechTruths.org. When she’s not researching and writing she enjoys discussing history, Indie films, documentaries, politics, current events and literature with extended family and friends.
Questions:
- In one of your articles, I read that childless not by choice women quote ‘have more time to confront our feelings than the mother who is busy raising or trying to have kids.’ That statement made me a little nervous as I’ve always believed that when we have too much time to think we can go to some dark or negative places, and sometimes that is good, as going to those places can help a healthier mind process and bring thoughts back to a good place resulting hopefully in a positive outcome of our processing. But what do you say to the woman who is still grieving and maybe not quite dealing with negative thoughts properly?
2) ‘It is quite striking to see that women who do have children but still wish for more children report poorer mental health than those who have no children but have come to accept it.’ This is a quote from your blog ‘Fess Up. What Are Your Blind Spots?’
In that article you made two great points: 1) if you or probably most childless not by choice women had had the child, they, we, wouldn’t grumble about the fact that these women should be happy they got the one. And 2) human nature tends to maintain a level of loss if we don’t get everything we wanted, i.e. the number of children we really wanted. I will be honest, one of my biggest pet peeves is to hear a woman murmur about not being able to have more children. I always want to say ‘are you kidding me right now?’
3) The rest of us — we didn’t even make the cut as outliers — no graphics on the number of women who came away empty-handed after extensive (and expensive) fertility treatments and no graphics on the number of failed adoptions. That would be a great project for those of us running childless not by choice platforms, groups, etc, to gather that information from our readers, listeners, and followers?
4) There is no ‘welcome to the club kit’ for childless not by choice women. We see the rites of passage, but we don’t get to partake. What should we do instead? What is our rite of passage, and passage to where?
5) As I read the article your blog ‘Prince Harry and I Agree: Bury Grief at Your Peril’, your new neighbor upon hearing that you and your husband were never able to have children and she says ‘you can have one of mine’, I found myself thinking how far we have come as a society to be able to talk about childlessness, but how far we still have to go when people are still using that old, tired line. How far along are we, do you think? Do you think we’ve only just scratched the surface in 2019?
6) In regards to Erik Erickson’s ‘Generativity versus stagnation’ stage–stage seven of his eight stages of the theory of psychosocial development’, (This stage takes place during middle adulthood (ages 40 to 65 yrs). What can we do as we become older, to help alleviate that helpless feeling that we will leave the planet leaving nothing of consequence behind? Asking for a friend.
Books, Articles, Blogs, by Pamela Tsigdinos:
https://blog.silentsorority.com/pope-prejudice-reinforce-negative-views/
https://blog.silentsorority.com/placing-motherhood-on-pedastel/
https://blog.silentsorority.com/grief/
https://blog.silentsorority.com/how-about-a-time-cover-story-on-women-who-arent-moms-or-childfree/
https://blog.silentsorority.com/blindspots/
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003PJ7D3U/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
Silent Sorority is an award-winning book. It reveals with candor, humor, and poignancy the intense and at times absurd experience of adjusting to a life as a “non-mom” when nature and science don’t cooperate in the family building department. Outside of the physical reckoning there lies the challenge of moving forward in a society that doesn’t know how to handle the awkwardness of infertility. With no Emily Post-like guidelines for supporting couples who can’t conceive, most well-intentioned “fertile” people miss the mark.
https://www.seleni.org/advice-support/2018/3/6/accepting-childlessness-after-infertility
https://www.coming2terms.com/2007/02/03/just-the-beginning/
https://www.coming2terms.com/2009/11/01/the-ultimate-test/
https://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html
Generativity versus stagnation is the seventh of eight stages of Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development. This stage takes place during middle adulthood (ages 40 to 65 yrs).
Generativity refers to “making your mark” on the world through creating or nurturing things that will outlast an individual.
People experience a need to create or nurture things that will outlast them, often having mentees or creating positive changes that will benefit other people.
We give back to society through raising our children, being productive at work, and becoming involved in community activities and organizations. Through generativity, we develop a sense of being a part of the bigger picture.
Success leads to feelings of usefulness and accomplishment, while failure results in shallow involvement in the world.
By failing to find a way to contribute, we become stagnant and feel unproductive. These individuals may feel disconnected or uninvolved with their community and with society as a whole. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of care.
Pamela’s Contact information:
Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos
Award-Winning Author & Top Health Blogger
Connect: ptsigdinos@yahoo.com
@PamelaJeanne
Check out ReproTechTruths and the #UnmaskingIVF campaign
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!
Until next time! Bye!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
My Childlessness Is Not My Fault
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.
•Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Jordan Morgan
It may seem that way, as I am using the possessive adjective to describe the fact that I am childless. That my life did not turn out the way I expected it would. But the more important issue is that human beings tend to blame each other for things we cannot control. My childlessness is not my fault.
If you are a Bible reader, you may recall the story of the man with the shriveled or withered hand. The Disciples asked Jesus if it was his parent’s fault or his, why his hand was withered. Jesus’ answer was ‘it’s nobody’s fault.’
Be honest, have you never wondered to yourself ‘what in the world did he/she do to deserve that?’ when you see something bad, horrible, or horrific happen to someone. You may have even heard someone verbalize it as ‘karma’, or ‘what goes around comes around’. As human beings, we figure it’s just payback.
But isn’t it possible that stuff just happens? Don’t we live in a world where stuff really just happens? I believe we do. Yes, I believe to an extent that what goes around comes around. That we should treat people the way we would want to be treated. But we all know that it rains on the just and the unjust. The difference though is how we manage the cards we have been dealt. In fact, having or obtaining the tools for managing the cards we have been dealt.
I believe one of those tools for any problem or issue you or I have, is community. I strongly believe that when we belong to a community of strong, positive, people who want to get better and not wallow in the self-pity of what happened to us or what did not happen for us.
Community protects us from those who secretly or passive-aggressively nicely tell us that we did not pray hard enough for a child. Some of us are told not to give up even though we no longer have a uterus. Indeed, some are told so even when they were born without one. I especially like the ‘well, it was not meant to be’. It is one of my favorites. Right up there with ‘you should be happy you don’t have kids, they are a lot of work’. These are the same people who tell you that ‘you don’t have kids, so you would not understand.’
And sometimes these remarks come from the lips of the same person. ‘Be glad you don’t have kids, they are a lot of work’, and ‘you wouldn’t understand, you don’t have kids.’ Which one of us seems unhinged? Because unhinged, among other things, is what many childless women are called. And God forbid if we are also single. Then we are weird, overzealous with our nieces and nephews, lonely, clingy, needy, or mean.
Society says that’s why we did not get married or have children: We chose the career over the kid, or as a friend of my mom once told her, I was too picky. Mind you, this woman couldn’t pick me out in a crowd. She knew nothing about me, but she knew I was being too picky and that is why I never married.
Well, regardless of the cards we have been dealt, I believe we can all be weird, overzealous with the children in our lives, clingy, needy, picky, or mean! After all, we are all human beings first, and none of us are what has happened to us or what did not happen for us, however.
So the next time your initial response is to blame someone for their ‘condition’, do a quick self-check and remind yourself ‘it’s not my fault it’s not your fault. Stuff happens.’ How we deal our cards is what sets us apart.
Blog:
http://childlessnotbychoice.net/my-childlessness-is-not-my-fault/
Articles of note:
https://drsuetalks.blogspot.com/2018/07/should-fertility-clinics-deny-treatment.html
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!
Until next time! Bye!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Episode 87–Post-Mother’s Day Monologue, How did you do?
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world. Civilla Morgan here! I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.
- Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)
https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah
- Jordan Morgan
Well, this is a short post-Mother’s Day episode where I stop by to catch up with you. How did you do? I hope all went well.
We are always thankful that our moms are recognized. But there is that dread because there is no one to call us mommy. That elephant in the room!
Be sure to check out the tips, ‘ Self-care tips for the childless not by choice woman on Mother’s Day’.
Other episodes mentioned in this episode:
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-65-my-interview-with-mrs-maureen-hornstein/
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/childless-not-by-choice-shame/
We have that internal battle going on, negative thoughts and feelings, society’s norms, how others feel about us, other people imposing their opinions on us.
If Mother’s Day didn’t go so well this year, there is always next year!
There are so many childless not by choice platforms. I don’t want you to feel like there are no resources out there like I felt when I first realized I would not be having any children.
Global conversation for and about the of the childless not by choice demographic is taking place!
My contact information:
Website: https://childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
Please help me out by taking this very short survey!
https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah
Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice.
I appreciate it!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Until next time! Bye!
Episode 87–Post-Mother’s Day Monologue, How did you do?
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world. Civilla Morgan here! I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.
- Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)
https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah
- Jordan Morgan
Well, this is a short post-Mother’s Day episode where I stop by to catch up with you. How did you do? I hope all went well.
We are always thankful that our moms are recognized. But there is that dread because there is no one to call us mommy. That elephant in the room!
Be sure to check out the tips, ‘ Self-care tips for the childless not by choice woman on Mother’s Day’.
Other episodes mentioned in this episode:
http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-65-my-interview-with-mrs-maureen-hornstein/
http://childlessnotbychoice.net/childless-not-by-choice-shame/
http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-86-longing-for-motherhood-holding-onto-hope-in-the-midst-of-childlessness-my-interview-with-chelsea-patterson-sobolik/
We have that internal battle going on, negative thoughts and feelings, society’s norms, how others feel about us, other people imposing their opinions on us.
If Mother’s Day didn’t go so well this year, there is always next year!
There are so many childless not by choice platforms. I don’t want you to feel like there are no resources out there like I felt when I first realized I would not be having any children.
Global conversation for and about the of the childless not by choice demographic is taking place!
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
Please help me out by taking this very short survey!
https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah
Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice.
I appreciate it!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Until next time! Bye!
Episode 64–I Feel Like a Fraud
Episode 64— I Feel Like a Fraud
Hello everyone!
Thank you for visiting another episode of 21st Century Hannah! I appreciate your taking the time to listen in once again. Thank you to my repeat listeners. And if you are listening for the first time, I hope you will come back for another visit!
Remember to tell your friends about the show, and feel free to share to your social media followers! I would appreciate that!
Thank you’s:
- Thank you for your FB re-shares and your Twitter comments and re-tweets. It is always appreciated.
Individual thank you’s:
Shout outs: Carla from CO. Thank you for your wonderful email, and for sharing your blog with me. In reading her email and blog, I recognized that we have had very similar experiences as childless not by choice women. Thank you, Carla, for reach out!
I feel like a fraud…
That’s what I told my brother. And that’s what I told a very good friend of mine. It was a few days after Mother’s Day here in the US. I had been afraid to verbalize it to anyone because I wasn’t sure what reaction I would get.
How could I possibly be two years into building a platform created to help women who are childless not by choice feel better about themselves. Feel better about their lives. Many of you know, my byline: ‘Living a joyful and relevant life although childless not by choice.’
It all started a few days before Mother’s Day. It always does.
Stories of note:
http://www.the-star.co.ke/news/2017/05/17/we-are-not-barren-or-infertile-we-are-just-but-waiting-wombs-childless_c1557714
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/may/12/theresa-may-children-politics-women-gender
http://micetimes.asia/to-make-money-not-kids/
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: Civilla Morgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @civilla1
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
Please help me out by taking this very short survey!
https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah
p.s. There is a lot of conversation going on in the Facebook Group Childless not by Choice. If you are childless not by choice and would like to join the conversation in a judgment-free zone, stop by and become a group member!
Until next time! Bye!
Mental Health in the Childless not by Choice Community, My interview with Psychologist Dr. Shari-ann James,
Hello everyone!
Thank you for visiting another episode of 21st Century Hannah! I appreciate your taking the time to listen in once again. And thank you to my repeat listeners. If you are listening for the first time, I hope you will come back for another visit!
Remember to tell your friends about the show, and feel free to share to your social media followers! I would appreciate that!
Well, it was such an honor to interview Dr. Shari-ann James for this episode! Her specialty within the world of psychology is just what we need in our community of childless not by choice women and men worldwide. I was so happy to hear this type of niche psychology is available and on the upswing. This will not be just another conversation on grief when a grieving woman walks into a psychologist’s office, it is the conversation.
I hope you enjoyed the interview as much as I did, and I hope you will write in to let me know. I will be interviewing and mentioning Dr. James’ awesome practice in the future. But in the meantime, I hope you will take the time to seek her out if you are dealing with any of the issues we discussed.
I have posted every way Dr. James can be found, as well as her education and memberships. This is one smart lady! I really hope you all will take the opportunity to visit her website, and if you are local and find that you need assistance with traveling the path of childlessness, infertility issues, and loss, that you will seek her out.
PLEASE NOTE: There were some audio issues that I did not realize were happening until I went back to fully listen to the interview. My podcast producer corrected the issue as much as possible. And he has already had me implement some fixes so this does not happen in the future. I hope you will overlook the issue as the content is so compelling. There is great information in there for you, for us!
Thank you for your patience.
EDUCATION:
PhD, Counseling Psychology, University of Georgia
EdM, Counseling Psychology, Columbia University (Master’s)
MA, Organizational Psychology, Columbia University, (Master’s Degree)
BA, Psychology, St Peter’s College
DR. JAMES’ PROFESSIONAL MEMBERSHIPS INCLUDE:
TRAINING & PROFESSIONAL MEMBERSHIPS:
Professional Membership with Postpartum Support International (PSI)
Professional Membership with American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM)
Professional Maternal Mental Health Certificate Training through PSI and 2020 Mom Project
Extensive bereavement training on perinatal loss through Resolve Through Sharing (RTS)
Gottman Trained Educator for the Bringing Baby Home Program, which is a program for new parents experiencing the transition to parenthood
http://www.perinatalwellness.net
https://www.facebook.com/perinatalwellnessorlando/
https://www.pinterest.com/drshariannjames/
Podcast- the wellness pod
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-wellness-pod/id1180289237
Helpful resources
http://www.resolve.org/family-building-options/living_childfree/
Childless BY Choice, My interview with Ms. Ebonie Henry
Hello everyone! Thank you so much for stopping by once again! I believe you are going to love this episode! I know it really gave me food for thought. This episode reminded me of something I always say in honor and defense of the childless not by choice community worldwide: Not everyone is living the same kind of life.
I also realized that whether we are childless not by choice or we are childless by choice, we can still meet with the same resistance from society. Most people mean well, but there are some who continue to believe they have a say in someone else’s choices, or lack thereof.
My interview with Ms. Henry I believe, will more than prove that point. While I continue to champion the cause of women (and men) who are childless not by choice, I believe even those of us who wanted children can and should take a moment to see how those who chose not to have children fare in society.
Tell me what you think about this episode. I would love to hear from you. And of course please share the episode with your family and friends, especially those who are childless not by choice; and in this case those who are childless by choice. As human beings, we have so much more in common than not.
If you would like to speak to Ebonie Henry directly, she advised that it is OK to reach out to her on Facebook.
Don’t forget to check out my sponsors and supporters. They may be able to fill a need for you. See their contact information below or by going to my website and scrolling to the bottom.
To contact me, see below for all of my contact information. Remember to leave me a review on iTunes. You can also sign up for my free monthly newsletter by going to my website. I promise not to spam you or sell your email address!
And thanks again for listening to 21st Century Hannah. It is truly appreciated!
Thanks again to my sponsors and supporters:
http://www.albadigitalmedia.com
Edinburgh Dusters, Edinburgh, Scotland
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @civilla1
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
Childless not by Choice, Reshell Smith interview: Finance for Women Around the World
Hello everyone! Thanks for stopping by! In this episode, I interview Reshell Smith on the subject of finance for women around the world. We discuss saving for retirement no matter where in the world we live.
In fact, we concentrated quite a bit on saving for retirement especially as entrepreneurs. The spirit of entrepreneurship exists world wide. In many cases that is the only way for many people to earn a living. Not everyone gets to go to work every day for a corporation. Some people make or grow their product, and then sell it to put food on the table.
No matter how we make money, we must think about the future, our future. In this conversation we discuss ways to make our retirement years look less financially scary.
Keeping our finances in order is important, but it is especially important when we are single and or childless. Women tend to have a longer life span than men, another reason we must have a handle on our finances!
Listen in as Reshell advises us how to do that. And see below for her contact information. She can help you make sure your financial house is in order!
Contact information:
Contact Reshell at info@reshellsmith.com
She is also on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter: all @reshellsmith.
My contact information:
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @civilla1
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
Childless Not by Choice From a Man’s Point of View, with fellow Podcaster Dr. Vibe
This is a conversational blab interview with fellow Podcaster, award winning Dr. Vibe. It was such an honor to have Dr. Vibe co-host with me. I could not think of a better person to help get the word out about childlessness not by choice, from a man’s point of view.
This subject-matter of men childless not by choice is just as tough as women childless not by choice, just in a different way; because men and women act and react differently to adversity. But the hurt is the same.
Please feel free to share this interview especially with men who are childless not by choice. Please tell them there is an advocate on the scene, and that advocate’s name is Civilla M. Morgan!
Thank you to all of my listeners around the world! You all are awesome! Please continue to listen and share in 2016!
If you are childless not by choice, join my Closed Facebook group Childless Not by Choice. If you would prefer, I have a Private Facebook group as well. Contact me at booksbycivillamorgan on Facebook, to be added.
You may also subscribe for your free monthly newsletter, at my website.
I would love to start a men’s group on Facebook, so if you know of any men who would be interested, please have them contact me; and I will create a Closed and or Private group.
My contact information:
Website: http://www.civillamorgan.com
Email: civilla@civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @civilla1
Pinterest: @civilla1
Interview, Living at my Best with Donna Woolam
Hello Everyone!
It is always such a pleasure to bring you fresh content. In this episode I had the honor to be interviewed by fellow Podcaster
Donna K. Woolam. Mrs. Woolam is also an Author, Speaker, and Empowered Life Trainer. It was truly an honor.
It seems that each of my interviews is quite different than the previous one. Sometimes as I am critiquing myself I see where improvement is needed, or where I left a piece of information out. But we all critique ourselves don’t we?
What I really love about this entire interview is how Donna’s questions prompt me to encourage women who are going through the same or similar circumstances. I feel like I was able to, through my experiences, help other women in similar situations, realize that it boils down to choice. “Some days you have to hang on with your fingernails.”
I didn’t realize it until she mentioned it, that in praying for other people’s children, in pouring into my nephews when they were children, that I chose to do it. Some things you do not realize until someone else notices.
By the way, I believe what triggered me to pray again, even if not right away, was after I went to see a psychologist about the constant crying.
Well, I really hope you will enjoy this interview, and I hope you will share it with others.
It is truly an honor to know that you are listening to my show.
Here is my contact information:
booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com
You may also find me on:
Facebook.com/booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter, @civilla1
Instagram, @civilla1
Periscope, Civilla M. Morgan
Thank you!
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