childless men
Episode 175–Father’s Day and Men’s Health
Hello, and welcome to episode 175 of the Childless Not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless women and men not by choice worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, and fulfilled lives, childless by choice.
Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about?
Father’s Day and Men’s Health
Thank you, Patreon contributors:
I would like to thank my Patreon contributors, who support the platform every month.
Your contributions help me pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, and other expenses. Thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!
If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.
Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode:
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FATHER’S DAY
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MEN’S HEALTH
So, well before President Biden’s prostate cancer diagnosis, I had planned on discussing men’s health for this year’s Father’s Day episode. In particular, I wanted to discuss causes of male childlessness, such as Azoospermia.
I’ve decided to put links in the show notes in regards to Azoospermia. Please check out the links for further information.
The basic definition of Azoospermia per The Cleveland Clinic website is:
‘Azoospermia means there’s no sperm in your ejaculate. Its causes include a blockage along the reproductive tract, hormonal problems, ejaculation problems or issues with testicular structure or function. Many causes are treatable. For other causes, it may be possible to retrieve live sperm to be used in assisted reproductive techniques like IVF.‘
As I think back through my episodes, I don’t believe I’ve ever discussed men’s health, or medical reasons men may be childless.
We’ve discussed fibroids, PCOS, endometriosis, adenomyosis, miscarriage, running out of time, aka the biological clock, MRKH, etc.
But I’ve never gone into much detail regarding issues surrounding the causes of childlessness in men.
I have had the great opportunity to interview several men about their experiences with childlessness, including how they have dealt with it. I will put links in the show notes on interviews I have conducted over the years with these wonderful men. Be sure to take a listen!
I also believe male childlessness is not as openly discussed as female childlessness because men and their spouses may find the issue embarrassing, shocking to their ego in a different way than a woman may feel about her childlessness, or maybe in much the same way. In either case, there can be emotional and mental pain.
Some of the things that can cause infertility in men include:
AI Overview
Male infertility can be caused by a variety of factors, including problems with sperm production or quality, hormonal imbalances, genetic disorders, infections, and environmental factors. Additionally, lifestyle choices like smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and certain drug use can also contribute to infertility.
Here’s a more detailed look at some of the key causes:
1. Sperm Problems:
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Low sperm count (oligospermia): A low number of sperm in the ejaculate.
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Absent sperm (azoospermia): No sperm in the ejaculate.
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Poor sperm motility: Sperm are unable to swim properly.
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Abnormal sperm morphology: Sperm are abnormally shaped, making it difficult for them to fertilize an egg.
2. Hormonal Imbalances:
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Reduced testosterone: Low levels of testosterone can affect sperm production.
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Hyperprolactinemia: Elevated levels of prolactin can interfere with sperm production.
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Hormonal disorders affecting the pituitary gland or hypothalamus: These glands regulate hormone production.
3. Genetic Disorders:
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Klinefelter syndrome: A genetic condition affecting males.
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Cystic fibrosis: A genetic disorder that can cause blocked reproductive ducts.
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Myotonic dystrophy: A genetic disorder that can affect sperm production.
4. Infections and Inflammation:
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Epididymitis: Inflammation of the epididymis, the tube that carries sperm from the testicles.
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Orchitis: Inflammation of the testicles.
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STIs: Sexually transmitted infections like gonorrhea or chlamydia can cause inflammation and damage to the reproductive organs.
5. Environmental and Lifestyle Factors:
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Smoking: Smoking can reduce sperm count and quality.
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Alcohol consumption: Excessive alcohol use can lower testosterone levels and affect sperm production.
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Certain drug use: Anabolic steroids and other drugs can negatively impact sperm production.
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Exposure to toxins or chemicals: Exposure to certain toxins, like pesticides, can affect fertility.
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Obesity: Being overweight or obese can impact sperm quality.
6. Medical Conditions:
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Diabetes: Diabetes can affect sperm production and quality.
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Kidney failure: Kidney failure can also impact sperm production.
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Cystic fibrosis: A genetic disorder that can cause blocked reproductive ducts.
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Autoimmune diseases: Some autoimmune diseases can attack sperm.
7. Other Factors:
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Varicocele: Enlarged veins in the scrotum, which can raise testicular temperature and affect sperm production.
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Testicular trauma: Injury to the testicles can damage sperm production.
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Previous cancer treatment: Chemotherapy and radiation therapy can affect sperm production.
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Undescended testicles: Testicles that don’t descend into the scrotum.
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Blockages or absences of tubes: Blockages in the reproductive tract can prevent sperm from being released.
This is for informational purposes only. For medical advice or diagnosis, consult a professional. AI responses may include mistakes. Learn more
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Whether you have children or not, your health is important. Be sure to go to all of your check-ups, especially if there is a family history of health issues. Get checked, don’t wait.
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Be OK with advocating for yourself. The healthcare industry may say no, you are too young for a particular test. But if you want that test, be insistent. Keep in mind that if your insurance does not cover the test because you are not of a certain age or whatever their parameters are, you may have to pay out of pocket.
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Happy Father’s Day to all the wonderful men out there who do the work of raising great people for this world.
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Happy Father’s Day to those of you who did not birth children, but are contributing to a child’s life in beautiful and lasting ways.
Research links:
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/15441-azoospermia
Articles/links of interest:
https://ifstudies.org/blog/pronatalism-is-not-popular-yet
Episode links to conversations with men:
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-116-my-conversation-with-dave-jackson/
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-141-downriver-nomad-my-conversation-with-rob-hutchings/
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-130-about-fathers-day-and-childlessness/
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-57-men-men-men-men-3/
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
Episode 163–Father’s Day
Hello, and welcome to episode 163 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.
Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about?
Father’s Day
Thank you Patreon contributors:
I want to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform every month, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you still need to become a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!
If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.
Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Articles/links of interest:
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-130-about-fathers-day-and-childlessness/
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-141-downriver-nomad-my-conversation-with-rob-hutchings/
Special thank you to:
All of the wonderful men who have shared their childless not by choice journey with us, and the world.
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
Episode 143–The Things Men Talk About, my Conversation with Dr. Robin Hadley
The Stories Men Tell, my Conversation with Dr. Robin Hadley
Shakespeare’s ‘Ages of Man’ :
All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms;
And then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow.
Then a soldier, Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
https://www.thefreshreads.com/the-seven-ages-of-man-summary-and-analysis/
Hello, and welcome to episode 143 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.
Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about?
The stories men tell!
Thank you Patreon contributors:
I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!
If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.
Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
- Jordan Morgan
- The Knights
- Your Name Here
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode:
- I went back to search for our first ever interview and it was 2017! Time flies doesn’t it? (link in the show notes). In that story, you told a story about an interaction at a sports field. I’ve thought about that story because it just tugged at my heart. Can you tell us more stories of men dealing with childlessness in the real world? (five stories?)
- Discuss the book–It’s more educational, four chapters on men’s stories, background to aging, childlessness, a reference book with the human stories, including Robin’s, why don’t men talk.
- Tell us a little bit about AWOC–Aging Without Children, of which you are a member. ‘If you’re not counted you don’t count.’–Horace Sheffield.
Articles/links of interest:
All The World’s a Stage, William Shakespeare, read by Morgan Freeman
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5hcaYEcAp0
Cynthia Daniels—Exposing Men–The Science and Politics of Male Reproduction
Blogs:
‘Coping with Father’s Day as a childless man‘: http://bit.ly/2HRekoC
‘Negative perceptions of older childless men’: http://bit.ly/2LnGZnQ
‘The un-held hand’: http://bit.ly/2n2sn2H
‘Non-fatherhood on ‘Fathers Day’: http://bit.ly/2MvBpQm
‘The case of the invisible older childless men’: bit.ly/1SFNsrJ
News media:
Daily Telegraph: ‘Men ‘just as broody as women’: http://bit.ly/179NLSD
‘HOW IS A MAN SUPPOSED TO BE A MAN? Male Childlessness –
a Life Course Disrupted’: https://bit.ly/3aa3TfO
25% discount CCPOD discount code
Latest work:
Hadley, R. A. (2020). “Male broodiness…”: https://bit.ly/36pOvLz
Hadley, RA. ‘Men and Me(n)’ researching men: https://bit.ly/3c3EKTJ
Marston, Musselwhite & Hadley. COVID-19 vs Social Isolation: https://bit.ly/2xYSUGC
Academic papers
2019: ‘Anxious childhood attachment predicts childlessness in later life’: http://bit.ly/2RcGXEM
2019: ‘Social networks of older childless men: http://bit.ly/2LHvJWr
2019: The impact of male involuntary childlessness: http://bit.ly/2INE9rX
2018: The lived experience of older involuntarily childless men: http://bit.ly/2CXeJGQ
2018:The lived experience of older involuntarily childless men: http://bit.ly/2KgP5gt
2011: Involuntarily childless men & the desire for fatherhood:http://bit.ly/2iMN4RB
Book chapters
2019: Deconstructing Dad. Palgrave Handbook of Male Psychology: http://bit.ly/2VHuJTU
2018: Ageing without Children, gender and social justice: http://bit.ly/2twhV6s
2018: I Only Wanted to be a Dad’: https://amzn.to/2z7q9I6
Special thank you to:
Dr. Robin Hadley
Dr. Hadley’s Contact/Social Media:
Website: https://www.robinhadley.co.uk/
Orcid: https://orcid.org/0000-0003-4254-7648
Twitter: @robinhadley1
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-hadley-47282471/
Amazon page: https://www.amazon.com/author/robinhadleybook
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
Attached are the reviews of the book that have come out so far. The article titled ‘Book review 2022 HRM’ is one I wrote on behalf of an academic who wanted to help promote the book but didn’t have time to read it!
Episode quotes:
‘Why are you on the church school board if you don’t have kids?’
‘The church is my family.’
‘If you’re not counted, you don’t count.–Horace Sheffield.
‘Men, including fathers, have a fear of being seen as pedophiles when they are single and or childless.’
‘Society doesn’t want to know its men are not virile.’
25% discount CCPOD discount code
Beware, Here comes The Holidays!
As we approach the holidays, I want to remind the childless not by choice community as well as those who have children, that we must consider each other. Recently, I heard commentary from someone who just allowed words to tumble out of their mouth because they are living a life they by all means expected to live.
They probably cannot understand those of us who by luck of the draw got none of it–no husband, no two and a half kids, no white picket fence. As I listened to this person I recalled thinking to myself, ‘keep your mouth shut girly, you can’t bat every ball.’ The comment from this mother was so generalized it was grievous.
Here’s the thing, if someone’s child is unruly in public, most of us would try to ignore the situation, or just move away. After all, children are typically afforded the space to be children. And I personally believe they should be children for as long as possible!
Unfortunately, some people do not know how to let kids be kids, so they verbalize their aggravation, and that of course, can make most parents upset. I believe even childless people know that children need room to grow physically, mentally, and emotionally.
If someone says something mean to a mother about her child, of course, that is never nice. Who knows what she may be going through with the child or in her life in general. Still, it should not be assumed that the person who verbalized their aggravation does not and should not have children. If that is the thought process, who is being mean now?
Look, I believe the reason society continues to propagate that mothers are more important than childless women is due to the innate need for humans to perpetuate the species. Perpetuating the species is a natural thing. This means though, that we will continue to hear mean spirited thoughts and belief systems spilling out of people’s mouths. They may not mean to be mean, in every instance. But the fact is, society tends to believe that once a woman has a child she is elevated to a special place, while childless women remain low on the totem pole. We are seen as society’s packing peanuts.
What use are you exactly? Why are you here? Those are the questions we as childless women and men will have to answer on our own; without any assistance from friends, family, or strangers. Because everyone has an opinion, and we definitely do not want to hear the opinion or beliefs of someone who is not living our type of life. The fact is, if we are here, we are indeed here for a reason, whether we have children or not. And like every other human, we will figure out our purpose.
After all, no human being should ever have to explain his or her existence. We belong here. And in fact, we childless women and men, expect to have our place at the table.
As I have said on the podcast, https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-105-my-interview-with-pamela-mahoney-tsigdinos/ we pay taxes too. We buy groceries, we go on vacation, and we enjoy our family and friends. We do indeed make beautiful, regular, normal contributions to society. We are wonderful aunts, caregivers, scientists, artists, siblings, bosses, guardians, employees, etc. Just like any other demographic in society. We should not have to explain this, but alas, we seem to have to. Regularly.
Let’s explain with our lives. With our decision to be happy. With our relevance. With our joy.
This holiday season, we will, as usual, attend the family get-togethers. We will attend the work parties. We will cook, bake, be a shoulder for our nieces and nephews, and whatever it is we find ourselves doing. But we will feel 
empowered to leave any gathering where we do not feel valued. We will create kind but firm boundaries, and exercise those boundaries with people who feel they have the right to speak to us in any manner they wish because our lives, the cards we have been dealt, do not meet their standards.
We will live the life we have been given to its fullest. As we all should. Because whether we got that family or not, life is very short, and we cannot afford to live in fear of society. Society will march on long after we are gone. And although by our very existence it is possible to change society’s apparent died in the wool opinions and expectations, that is not all we were placed on this earth to do. We are also here to live our best most relevant and joyful lives!
This holiday season, if you are a childless not by choice woman or man, remember you deserve to be here, there, or anywhere. Ignore the naysayers. Walk into that party or family gathering like you belong there. Because you do!
