mentalhealth
Episode 132–Mental health, mental rest, self-care
Hello, and welcome to episode 132 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life.
Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about?
Mental health, mental rest, self-care.
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I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
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- Jordan Morgan
- The Knights
- Susie
- Tiffany
- Your Name Here
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
- Jordan Morgan
- The Knights
- Your Name Here
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Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode:
Hello once again! Thank you so much for tuning in! Well, I am going to call this our Mental health, mental rest, self-care episode.
Mental health, mental rest, self-care.
At the beginning of August, I made the decision to step away from social media for the entire month. All through the month of July, I considered it as I realized I would basically have the month to myself. Dad is hanging out with his favorite child, kidding: my brother and his family are caring for dad this month. As a caregiver, and I would do it all over again, you are always on a high level of alert, as you are caring for another human being 24/7.
So I decided that while dad was with my brother and his family, I would take myself off social media, get some mental rest, go to the beach and enjoy my birthday month. And I have been doing just that!
I did consider that it might be an odd month for me to step away as it is a busy birthday month for my family. Most of my immediate family members have August birthdays! But I am sticking with my decision. I mean if it were an easy decision would it be worth it? Maybe, maybe not.
It’s been really weird to see so many social media notifications. On day three I was close to 200 already! I wonder how many there will be on August 31st?!
Well, not having to be on alert for 31 days and taking a break from social media, that combination does not happen very often. So I will be taking every advantage. I did put an out-of-office graphic on my Facebook and Instagram pages, I hope everyone realizes what is happening and that I am not ignoring them. Either way, my brain, and my body needed this. All of it!
Look, Mental Health Awareness month is in May here in the US, but the fact is, we should be thinking about our mental health every month. Mental and emotional health is always important as we are able to make better decisions when our brains are rested and healthy.
So what about you? Would you give it a try? Everyone’s mental health break is not the same. It does not have to be an entire month. It can be a week, it can even be a day, depending on what your life is like. The key is to recognize that you need a break, no matter what your life, your schedule, is like. The fact is, no matter how strong we think we are. We all need a break.
We are living in different, and honestly, strange times. 2020 beat us all up, mentally and emotionally. And 2021 seems to be only slightly better. People are still dying from COVID, there are still employment issues as well as the ending of a moratorium on evicting renters from their dwellings here in The US.
Life has always been hard. You have heard me say in the past: life is not for the faint of heart. We must try to take a break when we can. And I am thankful that I get this time.
So, I’m heading to the beach. I am going to get caught up on my reading. I am going to get some extra sleep. I am also going to enjoy the birthday gifts. The flowers. I have two vases of flowers that I hope will live the entire month of August. Take a look at the pictures I am posting here in the show notes. I will also post them on my Pinterest page once I am back on social media on the first of September.
I really hope you will take some time for yourself. Any time, some type of time. Recognize how you are feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally, and take heed. If you do, you will be a step ahead of the game of life.
Before I let you go, I want to talk to you about something that I believe is very important and in my opinion tied into mental health: Mindfulness.
I put some links here in the show notes to sites that discuss mindfulness, and mental health awareness. I also posted a link to a site on minority mental health. Be sure to check that out.
So, what is mindfulness?
Definition: ‘Being mindful means being aware of your thoughts, emotions, and how you’re feeling both physically and mentally. … It means being aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment.’–Apr 20, 2018.
Now for those of you who may be Believers, that definition may sound a little bit familiar. Check this out:
‘Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.’–Philippians 4:8.
Sounds similar to the definition of mindfulness right? The bottom line is this, whether you are a Believer or not, it’s important to recognize that if you are struggling with negative thoughts, especially in the midst of the craziness of the last year and a half, it can be difficult to believe that things will get better, at least anytime soon. But even in the midst of all of this craziness, if you can set your mind to think on positive things, on good things, I believe it will help you make it through these difficult times.
Think about positive things:
It can be something nice a friend, family member, or even stranger did for you.
Think about how you feel when it is your day off from work.
Think about how it feels to be able to sit in your favorite coffee shop again. Think of how you feel when you are in a good mood, and then remind yourself that you are responsible for your mood even if others are trying to get on your very last nerve.
Renew your mind with good thoughts.
Check out some more suggestions below:
Some examples include:
- Pay attention. It’s hard to slow down and notice things in a busy world. …
- Live in the moment. Try to intentionally bring an open, accepting, and discerning attention to everything you do. …
- Accept yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend.–Google.
- Focus on your breathing.
Sounds simple, but it’s usually the simple things that work best. So, that’s all from me this month. I am going to go do all of the above, and I hope you will too. And don’t forget to check out the links in the show notes!
P.S. There are some wonderful admins and moderators managing the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group if you are in the group and have questions.
Although I am not on social media this month, you may email me, my contact information is in the show notes. You may also Messenger me, but I will not be able to respond until September.
So, see you in September!
Articles of interest:
https://www.minorityhealth.hhs.gov/minority-mental-health/
https://www.mindfulschools.org/
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
Imposter Syndrome and Mental Health
Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Childless not by Choice Podcast, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I also welcome you even if you do not fit the demographic. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thanks for tuning in. Welcome to episode 124! Imposter Syndrome!
Before we get into the episode…
Patreon Contributors: I would like to thank my patrons for their monthly financial contributions to the platform. To join the Patreon family of monthly contributors, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, and set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!
If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Either way, your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Your financial gifts go toward paying my podcast producer, paying my podcast hosting fees, buying ads on social media, and all things podcast-related. Every dollar helps. If this podcast has helped you, help me help someone else which is what happens when someone sees an ad or hears an episode.
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
- Jordan Morgan
- The Knights
- Susie
- Your Name Here
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Or
Visit the website at http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode content:
- Feeling like an imposter when we do life as CNBC women: I got this list from zencare.co
- Extreme lack of self-confidence.
- Feelings of inadequacy.
- Constant comparison to other people.
- Anxiety.
- Self-doubt.
- Distrust in one’s own intuition and capabilities.
- Negative self-talk.
- Dwelling on the past.
So…
When do you most feel like an imposter:
When attending an event and immediately feeling like an imposter when all of the women start talking about their kids.
At work when a co-worker visits the office with her newborn. You wish you had a way of slipping out without being noticed, just like an imposter would do.
When you are the CEO of a company or the Prime Minister of a country, and another woman says you cannot lead because you have no real investment in the future of the company/country.
When your siblings show up with their kids and well…
When people assume you have children and they make commentary such as ‘you wouldn’t want that to happen to your kids would you?’
When someone says ‘you don’t have kids so you won’t understand’.
Where do you belong as a CNBC woman?
- Anyplace you want to be.
- Anyplace you worked hard to be.
- At any table, you feel you belong.
- How we should deal with imposter syndrome and gain the confidence we deserve:
- Gain confidence by joining a group, a community, of people who are in your same boat.
- Stop comparing your life to other’s lives. Everyone is on their own journey.
- Depending on where you are in your childless not by choice journey, you can feel anxious and doubtful about where your journey leads. I won’t lie to you, it can seem scary. No one knows what the future holds, and a future without children may seem scary and lonely…but remember, your future is what you make it. We’ve talked about this before, remember, there is no guarantee that if you had had children that you would have someone to check in on you, to care for you. It would have been a 50/50 chance.
- Trust yourself, even if or when no one else will. Even when you stand alone in your healthy boundaries. Trust yourself. You are worthy, and the longer you continue on in your journey, you will continue to realize and enjoy your worth.
- It took me a long time, but I have gotten to the point where I look in the mirror and say positive things to myself. Sometimes I even smile at myself. Do I think I am better than everyone else? No, because I am not comparing myself to anyone else. I am on my own journey, you are on yours. Look in your mirror in the mornings. You may feel dorky at first, but trust me, practice makes perfect. Practice saying nice things to yourself. Practice smiling at yourself in the mirror. Kindness to yourself will show in the way you interact with the world. They–the world, your family, your co-workers, will see a difference.
- So don’t look back on what might have been, what could have been. Looking back will not change things. Look around you now. Look ahead to what can be.
So, we’re heading into a new year. 2020 has been beyond crazy right. I mean you know the saying ‘you can’t make this stuff up’, has new meaning. But before we get there, about the Holidays. Well, usually we would be discussing how to deal with family and friends, maintaining healthy boundaries, leaving the party when we were good ready, etc.
Most of us aren’t heading to any parties right now, right? So we’re most likely in the opposite place: seclusion, furlough, maybe even loneliness? Totally opposite direction. What to do about being in a different place this holiday season?
Well, none of us have been down this path before. I mean the last pandemic was 100 years ago. So I am not going to pretend I know everything to say here. What I will say to you is what I would say to me:
- Do what you must to remain healthy mentally, spiritually, emotionally, even physically. That means mentally that you speak with a therapist if things seem to be spinning, or even slowly swirling out of control. Don’t wait until you have no sense of direction. Instead, take yourself seriously. Listen to yourself.
- Many of you know that I am a Believer. That means for me, that I read my Bible daily, I listen to sermons by pastors I really like and respect, I go to church (online. I haven’t been inside the church building since about March), and I read and listen to devotions. So in addition to my morning devotions, sometimes throughout the day, I will listen to one of my favorite pastors. These practices keep my mind clear and healthy, leaving less room for negativity. Do I have my ups and downs especially during this crazy pandemic? Of course. But I look to my faith as my foundation that the rest of my life branches from. What are your spiritual practices?
- Emotional health is pretty similar to mental health. The difference though is that emotional health is the ability to cope. The WHO–World Health Organization says that ‘Mental health is “a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community”. If you are having trouble coping, a word I don’t generally like, but I think it works in this context, get help. Bottom line.
- Physically. Well, I have recently started back on my treadmill. 30 minutes every morning. And it is when I am on my treadmill that I do my devotionals. So I’m multitasking, something I love to do. It took me several months to get back on although I know I needed to, and I am telling you, it is the best investment in oneself. Exercise is a self-investment. It makes me feel physically better, stronger, and able. And it’s also good for mental health.
So, there you have it. Imposter syndrome and mental health. Please take this information with you into 2021. I don’t know what is in store for us, but one way or the other, we must keep up our strength and our hope.
Well, two more things before I go:
- check out the Goals list in the Shop page on the website, http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net. It will help you as you head into the new year.
- Leave a rating and review in Apple Podcast. I do not ask you to do this very much, but I will ask more in 2021, so don’t get tired of me. I would really appreciate it if you would take a moment and rate and review this podcast. I’ve also put a podcast rating link in the FB groups and here in the show notes. I am seeing an increase in listens and downloads and I appreciate that. But when you rate and review a podcast it puts more eyes and ears on the podcast. So click the link in the show notes and help me get the word out that there are childless not by choice women on this planet and we are just as worthy to be here. This link actually allows you to rate and review in Podchaser, iTunes, Castbox, and Stitcher. Any questions, let me know. I can’t do this all by myself!
https://lovethepodcast.com/childlessnotbychoice?fbclid=IwAR35y5hLEQsg2EouqiJ4tXOjiHkPB39UbsmCS0FbMuvkN6VwvKAP0wAvdLs
Links to stories you might be interested in:
https://demography.cass.anu.edu.au/events/assisted-reproduction-late-fertility-and-childlessness-australia
https://blog.zencare.co/imposter-syndrome/
Episodes of interest:
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-114-the-holidays-the-loneliest-time-of-the-year-2/
My contact information:
Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.
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Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
