Episode 118–That virus sets new boundaries

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Childless not by Choice Podcast, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I also welcome you even if you do not fit the demographic. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thanks for tuning in.  Welcome to episode 118!

What is today’s show? How CoronaVirus sets new boundaries.

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  • Jordan Morgan
  • The Knights
  • Your Name Here

    Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com



Visit the website at https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

CoronaVirus sets new boundaries!  

If you have been a part of our CNBC family for any time, you know how much I discuss and completely believe in the importance of boundaries because I believe proper boundaries promote positive mental health. When we allow others-family, friends, co-workers, etc, to cross boundaries by guilting us into running errands because we do not have children. When we allow them to speak to us in a negative way. And when we allow people to continually push us into acquiescing to a decision we did not originally want to make because they think our voice is unimportant, we are allowing them to cross boundaries and normalize disrespect.

Make sure that you have set kind but firm boundaries in every aspect of your life. Setting boundaries takes time and patience–with yourself and with others. Be nice, keep trying, and know it will be worth it!

Speaking of boundaries, how does Covid 19 affect those of us who are childless not by choice?  

  • Family interactions–stay in place, stay at home, but suppose you have elderly family members who need help, it can seem overwhelming, confusing, and crazy.  
  • Family looks different to the childless not by choice person–as childless not by choice people, sometimes we have fewer people to interact with anyway.   
  • We may not have children of our own, but for many of us, there are children or young people in our lives that we care about immensely. We care about how they are doing, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. We want them to be OK. Isn’t that beautiful? We still get to share ourselves, just not in the way we expected we would. Now that many of us are ‘staying in place’, that gives us more time to get in contact, at a safe distance, with those same young people or elderly people in our lives. Do it! We will probably never have this amount of time again.   
  • When we are young we feel like we will live forever, but we need to follow the CDC guidelines. Many people outside of the at-risk demographic are now getting sick and even dying. Follow the guidelines. Stay home as much as you can, only going out if you absolutely need to. I know it’s not easy, but that six feet of social distancing can save your life. There is a ton of information out there and I know we are on information overload right now, but I am putting a link to a great article from All Recipes in the show notes. You may ask what does a recipe have to do with fighting the CoronaVirus, but trust me, I really like the way the article was written, and how informative it was. And I LOVE All Recipes. And no, they are not paying me to mention them here. But not only do I like the fact that they post real-life, doable recipes, but they also respond when you post a comment on Facebook! They really do exist! LOL.   
  • Consider those in our families who are at risk or the person who has pre-existing conditions. As I mentioned earlier, consider the safety of those around you who are elderly, and/or at risk. And remember, we may not always know who is at risk. There are many young and younger people out there who have unseen conditions. Let’s just consider each other as we go about our day, even if we are staying in place. And I would be remiss if I did not mention that on top of dealing with the overwhelming situation we find ourselves in as a world, some of us are also caregivers. We are supposed to be six feet apart at all times, social distancing; but we are also caring for an elderly parent or other family members. How are we supposed to do that? It’s not easy. But the best we can do is the best we can do! By the way, where we can, we should help our elderly or at-risk neighbors who may not have family members to help them. If we can’t help directly, we can help by donating time to an elder care center or even donating food to a food bank. There are a lot of people who have lost jobs and income, a lot of elderly who have lost support because their support has been furloughed or laid off. What is happening in our world right now is truly a major domino effect.
  • Get the mental health help you need. This is so important I wanted to discuss it last, just before we end our time together. We were already battling the emotions that come with the loss of the ability to have a child, to have the family we envisioned. We were dealing with decisions we would have to make about every day, now probably innocuous events. We were dealing with life the way we were learning to deal with it as childless women and men, and then on top of that, a pandemic hits everyone. And we all know that everyone deals with these types of events in different ways. In addition to handling stress in different ways, people’s true colors begin to come out, the scam artists come out in full force to take advantage of people. There are layers and layers of things happening that cause such stress. Some people have just suffered major losses and now have to deal with this temporary new normal. If you are feeling overwhelmed please, please seek help. Speak to a trusted friend or a professional; someone who can speak with you objectively. Many major corporations offer therapy assistance through their EAP’s–employee assistance programs. Please do not be afraid to ask for help. I had to get help twice in my life: once after my hysterectomy. And then more recently when my mom passed. In fact, I am writing the content for this episode the day after her official birthday, and on the day we celebrated it. My mom always said that her mother said she was born on the 29th of March, but the hospital put the 30th on her birth certificate. They never changed it, so we celebrated on the 30th. It has been 10 months since she passed and I miss her so much sometimes I can hardly take it. She was in pain for many years, and now she is not. Now I must continue on with life, with my new normal. And then a global pandemic. It can be more than overwhelming. Seek assistance. Don’t be afraid. Please check out the links I’ve put in the show notes.    




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Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’


‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.


Episode 114–The Holidays, The Loneliest Time of the Year

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life! Welcome to episode 114! 

Happy December!

This episode is brought to you by the ‘Your Blueprint for your Goals and Visions’ program which can be found on the shop page of our website, https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, It is literally a template, a blueprint that I created after years of researching how successful people plan for the new year. It’s simple. For a small investment in yourself this new year, download the template, fill in the blanks, and follow your decisions monthly, quarterly, bi-annually, and annually. The sooner you download the template, the sooner you can get a jump on the new year. 

You have the freedom to tweak and change what you want in the template, but the key is to work with the template throughout the year, allowing it to help you.  You get to witness your own mental, emotional, spiritual, and even physical growth! Place your order on the website and get to work on you!   

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  • Jordan Morgan
  • The Knights

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com


Visit the website at https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

It’s December! We are now smack dab in the middle of the Holiday Season, and 2019 is coming to a close! It’s been a tough year for many of us. I know some of us are ready to see it go bye-bye! If you are in the United States or you are an ex-pat, we celebrated Thanksgiving last month. I hope you had a wonderful family get together. And if you kept your own company, that’s great too. You know we introverts love our own company! 

So, there are a lot of changes taking place. I am finding that losing a parent changes you to the core. From big things to little things.  The stages of grief are real. They are real no matter what or whom we grieve. 

Remember, if you are grieving any type of loss, the holidays can tend to exacerbate those feelings. Here are just some of the things you can do to take the edge off whether you are navigating being childless during the holidays, or grieving the loss of a loved one:

  1. Seek therapy, and try to do so well before the Holidays so you get a head start on the feelings and emotions the Holidays can manifest.  But either way, it is never too late to strengthen your mental health.
  2. Speak to a trusted friend or religious leader. Talking to a good listener is a great release. 
  3. Take a bubble bath and take a good book to read or listen to. Or take Netflix, Amazon Prime, or your favorite TV app and watch a great movie!  Don’t forget the Epsom salts and lavender! 
  4. Go for a walk along your favorite lakefront, street, or neighborhood. 
  5. Sit at the coffee shop with a good beverage and a nice book. 

The key is to do these things right in the middle of the holidays.  Don’t worry about being judged because you will probably be judged anyway.  If you need to talk, be sure to join the Facebook group, Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan. 

I will be in the Facebook group throughout the season. And of course, the other admins will be in there as well. Also, the other ladies in the group are quite friendly and responsive. If you are feeling alone, come over to the group. There will always be someone there to talk to.       

Well, hopefully, you were not looking for October and November episodes. I took a much needed two-month hiatus. This just meant I used that time to work on this episode, content for 2020 episodes, work on my new limited-edition podcast, and the list goes on.  Yet, I appreciated the break. Thanks for understanding. In fact, I have decided that going forward, I will be taking October and November off. Sometimes it takes an overwhelming loss, and being overwhelmingly tired, to make a change you did not ever think you would. And those changes turn out to be just what was needed. 

In fact, some podcasters operate in seasons, like a television show. I never wanted to do that. Maybe it was FOMO–fear of missing out. Maybe I felt like I did not have enough episodes in the library. Maybe I was competing with myself. At any rate, it was just such a great break! I will be taking October and November off each year, moving forward.  

About the blog! It has been many months since I last blogged.  I did not realize how much I missed it! I will put a link in the show notes to my most recent blog, but I want to read a portion of it here if you don’t mind:         

‘Unfortunately, some people do not know how to either let kids be kids or move to another location, so they verbalize their aggravation, and that of course, can make most parents upset.  I believe even childless people know that children need room to grow physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

If someone says something mean to a mother about her child, it still should not be assumed that person does not and should not have children. If that is the thought process, who is being mean now?     

Look, I believe the reason society continues to propagate that mothers are more important than childless women is due to the innate need for humans to perpetuate the species. This means we will continue to hear mean spirited thoughts and belief systems spilling out of people’s mouths. They may not mean to be mean, in every instance. But the fact is, society tends to believe that once a woman has a child she is elevated to a special place, while childless women remain low on the totem pole. We are seen as society’s packing peanuts.’ 

Be sure to click the link in the show notes to read ‘the rest of the story! 

So, here’s the thing, we are heading into another year!  2020! What would you like to peel off of your life and toss into the garbage this year? You probably have not quite thought about it that way have you? But we are all works in progress. At least we should be. There is no perfect, or completely ‘done’ human. We all have triggers, we all have doubts, we all have fears, we all have hopes and dreams. You may be thinking you are too old to dream. Or maybe you think it is too late for the dreams and plans you had. 

But may I remind you that you can change your dreams. Not because you are wishy-washy, but because life has twists and turns. We can either work on navigating the twists and turns or stay stuck on what did not happen for us. Let’s not stay stuck there. Life is too short. Look, I have the same ups and downs you do. There are times, especially during the Holidays that I am surrounded by people I love, but I am lonely as all get out. And please, no attempts to set me up. I’m not interested. I am trying to make a point. We ALL have ups and downs. And I know this because we are all human, and the ups and downs are a part of the human condition. It is how we manage our ups and downs and not allowing life’s circumstances to manage us, which makes the difference.

We have to practice recognizing triggers, recognizing when those negative feelings are coming for a visit, and turning them away at the door. We turn the negative feelings and triggers away at the door with the list of things I mentioned above, bubble baths, walks, talking to a trusted friend, seeing a therapist. 

And knowing our strengths and weaknesses. Knowing whether or not we can go to a baby shower or to a children’s birthday party. The choice is all yours! If you never got the chance to listen, I will put a link to the episode on triggers in the show notes. Please listen to it. We all have triggers and the whole world will not know what triggers you. But when YOU know what triggers you, you will know how to manage those triggers so that you do not explode on those around you.  Look, we don’t want or need people to walk on eggshells around us. The goal is for us to get along without being made to feel less than by others or by ourselves. 

So I am asking you, What changes would you like to make about you, for you, in 2020?          

Thanks for tuning in today! Don’t forget to visit the Tee Public online merchandise store. There you will find content: t-shirts, hoodies, laptop cases, mugs, etc.with the Childless not by Choice logo! Every purchase means a contribution to the Childless not by Choice platform. Thank you! 

Well, thanks for tuning in. See you next year! Bye! 

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