Fibroids

Episode 105–My interview with Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.

Welcome to episode 105!

•Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice


Jordan Morgan

Ivy Calhoun

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

                                              Or

Visit the website at https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Bio/Intro:

Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos (Sig- DIN – us) is an author, blogger and women’s health advocate. She emerged as a reluctant spokeswoman in 2008 after a health reporter from The New York Times asked if she’d be willing to openly discuss her infertility experience. Pamela discussed the stubborn persistence of the infertility condition and the lack of a cultural framework to process the losses associated with being childless not by choice. The New York Times feature story that resulted produced astonishment and relief that someone candidly addressed the trauma of failed IVF and legacy of infertility.

Soon thereafter she wrote what became an award-winning book called Silent Sorority. It became the first memoir on infertility not authored by a mother, Pamela’s writing explores the complicated, disenfranchised grief and identity issues that accompany involuntary childlessness. Now more than a decade outside of the grief she once felt so viscerally, she educates and writes about the false promises and limitations of reproductive medicine and the personal and social impacts that accompany failed IVF.

She is the co-founder of the grassroots initiative ReproTechTruths.org.  When she’s not researching and writing she enjoys discussing history, Indie films, documentaries, politics, current events and literature with extended family and friends.

Questions:

  1. In one of your articles, I read that childless not by choice women quote ‘have more time to confront our feelings than the mother who is busy raising or trying to have kids.’ That statement made me a little nervous as I’ve always believed that when we have too much time to think we can go to some dark or negative places, and sometimes that is good, as going to those places can help a healthier mind process and bring thoughts back to a good place resulting hopefully in a positive outcome of our processing. But what do you say to the woman who is still grieving and maybe not quite dealing with negative thoughts properly?      

2)  ‘It is quite striking to see that women who do have children but still wish for more children report poorer mental health than those who have no children but have come to accept it.’  This is a quote from your blog ‘Fess Up. What Are Your Blind Spots?’

In that article you made two great points: 1) if you or probably most childless not by choice women had had the child, they, we, wouldn’t grumble about the fact that these women should be happy they got the one. And 2) human nature tends to maintain a level of loss if we don’t get everything we wanted, i.e. the number of children we really wanted. I will be honest, one of my biggest pet peeves is to hear a woman murmur about not being able to have more children. I always want to say ‘are you kidding me right now?’   


3) The rest of us — we didn’t even make the cut as outliers — no graphics on the number of women who came away empty-handed after extensive (and expensive) fertility treatments and no graphics on the number of failed adoptions. That would be a great project for those of us running childless not by choice platforms, groups, etc, to gather that information from our readers, listeners, and followers?  

4) There is no ‘welcome to the club kit’ for childless not by choice women. We see the rites of passage, but we don’t get to partake.  What should we do instead? What is our rite of passage, and passage to where?

5) As I read the article your blog ‘Prince Harry and I Agree: Bury Grief at Your Peril’, your new neighbor upon hearing that you and your husband were never able to have children and she says ‘you can have one of mine’, I found myself thinking how far we have come as a society to be able to talk about childlessness, but how far we still have to go when people are still using that old, tired line. How far along are we, do you think? Do you think we’ve only just scratched the surface in 2019?  

6) In regards to Erik Erickson’s ‘Generativity versus stagnation’ stage–stage seven of his eight stages of the theory of psychosocial development’, (This stage takes place during middle adulthood (ages 40 to 65 yrs).  What can we do as we become older, to help alleviate that helpless feeling that we will leave the planet leaving nothing of consequence behind? Asking for a friend.

 

 Books, Articles, Blogs, by Pamela Tsigdinos:

https://blog.silentsorority.com/pope-prejudice-reinforce-negative-views/

https://blog.silentsorority.com/placing-motherhood-on-pedastel/

https://blog.silentsorority.com/grief/

 

https://blog.silentsorority.com/how-about-a-time-cover-story-on-women-who-arent-moms-or-childfree/

 

https://blog.silentsorority.com/blindspots/

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003PJ7D3U/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

Silent Sorority is an award-winning book. It reveals with candor, humor, and poignancy the intense and at times absurd experience of adjusting to a life as a “non-mom” when nature and science don’t cooperate in the family building department. Outside of the physical reckoning there lies the challenge of moving forward in a society that doesn’t know how to handle the awkwardness of infertility. With no Emily Post-like guidelines for supporting couples who can’t conceive, most well-intentioned “fertile” people miss the mark.

https://www.seleni.org/advice-support/2018/3/6/accepting-childlessness-after-infertility

https://www.coming2terms.com/2007/02/03/just-the-beginning/

https://www.coming2terms.com/2009/11/01/the-ultimate-test/

https://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html

Generativity versus stagnation is the seventh of eight stages of Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development. This stage takes place during middle adulthood (ages 40 to 65 yrs).
Generativity refers to “making your mark” on the world through creating or nurturing things that will outlast an individual.

People experience a need to create or nurture things that will outlast them, often having mentees or creating positive changes that will benefit other people.

We give back to society through raising our children, being productive at work, and becoming involved in community activities and organizations. Through generativity, we develop a sense of being a part of the bigger picture.

Success leads to feelings of usefulness and accomplishment, while failure results in shallow involvement in the world.

By failing to find a way to contribute, we become stagnant and feel unproductive. These individuals may feel disconnected or uninvolved with their community and with society as a whole. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of care.

 

Pamela’s Contact information:

Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos
Award-Winning Author & Top Health Blogger
Connect: ptsigdinos@yahoo.com
@PamelaJeanne

Check out ReproTechTruths and the #UnmaskingIVF campaign

My contact information:

Website: https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!

Until next time! Bye!

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

 

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Episode 98–Pet Therapy for the Childless not by Choice Demographic

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I am also reaching out to everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.

Welcome to episode 98!

I would like to thank my sponsor Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765. Their email address is

http://www.Morganair.net

Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate.

Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it.

I would also like to thank Devoted, the musical duo who created my theme music. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, visit their website at http://www.devotedministry.org.

Well, I have some VIP’s I need to give a shout out to!

  • Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)

    https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
  • Jordan Morgan
  • Ivy Calhoun
  • Your Name Here

Michelle Link

As the last of their six children are now grown, Michelle Link and her husband of 29 years have opted to continue the energy and chaos of family in their home, by adopting dogs.

Training their three Goldendoodles has become Michelle’s passion, which ultimately culminated in the therapy dog certification of their girl, Murphy.

Michelle volunteers with Murphy in several capacities as a therapy dog team, but she is also inspired to educate and encourage others, sharing the life-changing benefits she’s discovered in her personal relationship with Murphy.

Questions:

1)Murphy is a Goldendoodle–Therapy and emotional support dog,

         does the type of dog matter for training and certification?

2) One of the things I learned from you in our pre-interview conversation was that there is a difference between a ‘Prescribed emotional support dog’, and a ‘certified’ dog; What’s the difference?

And then what is the difference between a companion pet,  an Emotional Support Animal, and a Service Dog?

 

3) Other than your own experiences with pets, are you aware of any studies that support the benefits of a relationship with a pet?

‘American Journal of Critical Care Study’

‘Mass General Study, women who had at least one child and a pet…’

FMRI Study…levels of oxytocin’.

 

4) When did you personally realize the healing value of a relationship with dogs?

5) Speak to us about the fact that there is value in having fur babies, and that doing so does not diminish or minimize those with pets who happen not to have children?

 Michelle’s contact info:

TherapyTeamMurphy@mail.com

Instagram: @therapyteammurphy

 

Articles and links just for you:

https://positivelywoof.com/pet-calendar-year-at-a-glance/

The following link is for your enjoyment:

https://www.yahoo.com/gma/woman-removed-plane-boarding-emotional-support-squirrel-105012179–abc-news-topstories.html?.tsrc=fauxdal&guccounter=2

My contact information:

Website: https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

 

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless, not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

 

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice.

Until next time! Bye!

my interview on the That Anita Live Show

My interview with That Anita Live was done in 2017, so a couple of changes since then: The name of my Podcast is Childless not by Choice, and I do blog about childlessness. I really enjoyed this interview, and I hope you will too!

Tips for coping with Fibroids:

Click here for more information on how to cope with Fibroids! 

 

 

Civilla M. Morgan

civilla@civillamorgan.com

www.childlessnotbychoice.net

Podcast: Childless not by Choice

Copyright 2017©

(Please do not share or make changes to this information.)

August/September 2017

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