childless

Episode 117 – It’s not that simple!

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Childless not by Choice Podcast, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I also welcome you even if you do not fit the demographic. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thanks for tuning in. 

Welcome to episode 117!

Patreon Contributors: I would also like to thank my patrons for their monthly financial contributions to the platform. If you would like to join the Patreon family of monthly contributors, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, and set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!  

And if you prefer to give a one time gift via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Either way, your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

  • Jordan Morgan
  • The Knights
  • Your Name Here


    Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

                                               Or

 

Visit the website at https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Episode content:

It’s not just about being childless not by choice. It’s not, dare I say, that simple. There is so much more to it. 

Episodes mentioned in the podcast:

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-89-unexplained-infertility-aka-idiopathic-infertility/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/

From the Shop page:

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/

Articles of interest:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/202001/people-who-never-have-children-21-facts-500-years

My contact information:

Website: https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice



If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details. 

Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy! 

Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

 ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Episode 116–My Conversation with Dave Jackson

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. Welcome to episode 116! And welcome to February!

I hope you have taken a moment and gone to the Shop page of the website for your link to Blueprints for your goals and visions.  This blueprint will walk you through your goals and visions for the entire year. And the best part is you can use the same blueprint every year!  

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/ 

It is a great way to get your new year off to a great start! The link is in the show notes. 

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: civilla@civillamorgan.com

                                               Or

 

Visit the website at https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Well, we have a guest today! 

On today’s show, we have…

an award-winning podcaster who has been podcasting since April 2005! He has been helping people understand technology for over 20 years, he launched the School of Podcasting in 2005, and he has helped hundreds of people launch podcasts. He has recorded hundreds of episodes maybe even thousands of his own!  He is literally one of the OG’s of podcasting, and he is in the Podcasting Hall of Fame! Dave Jackson, welcome to the show!

Questions:

  • How many podcasts total?  ‘School of Podcasting’ and ‘Ask the podcast coach’ building a better dave’ 
  • Congratulations on all of the accolades, accomplishments, and success in the world of podcasting! And you have a teaching degree correct? What grade level did you teach?
  • How have you decided to deal with the parts of life that did not work out the way you expected? 
  • But there can tend to feel like something is missing unless you have come to terms?
  • Life not turning out as expected causes one to have empathy for others on life’s journey? faith
  • Do you think that getting to teach, whether children or would be podcasters, is the salve to your heart and to your life?
  • Could you leave us with a word of encouragement?
  • Where can we find you online?

How to find Dave Jackson online:

https://powerofpodcasting.com/

Patreon Contributors: I would like to thank my Patreon contributors Whether you contribute via patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, or you go to the website and contribute via PayPal, your contributions are appreciated and used to help the platform to get the word out. Thank you! 

My Patrons: 

Jordan Morgan

The Knights

Articles of interest:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/nov/17/male-childlessness-not-reproducing-what-am-i

https://www.abc.net.au/life/childfree-men-on-leaving-behind-a-legacy-and-other-pressures/11274052

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DKJOAmzXP4

Click here for help with creating your goals and visions: 

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/

My contact information:

Website: https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice


If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details. 

Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy! 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

 

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Episode 115–Facing childlessness with art, my interview with Dr. Krista Cooper

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. Welcome to episode 115

Welcome to the first episode of 2020! 

What is today’s show about?

Patreon Contributors: I would also like to thank my Patreon contributor Ivy Calhoun for her monthly financial contribution to the platform. Whether you contribute via patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, or you go to the website and contribute via PayPal, your contributions are appreciated and used to help the platform to get the word out. Thank you!

 

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

  • Jordan Morgan
  • The Knights
  • Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: civilla@civillamorgan.com

                                               Or

 Visit the website at https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Intro:

Krista Cooper PhD, LLMSW is a native of Hartford, CT, of Jamaican heritage. 

she attended Oakwood College in Huntsville, Alabama where her love of languages and the written word resulted in a change of major from Pre-Med to English and Spanish. While at Oakwood, she also studied for a year at Colegio Adventista de Sagunto, Spain.  After obtaining her Bachelor of Arts degrees in English and Spanish, Dr. Cooper obtained her Master of Social Work from the University of Michigan. 

After graduation, she worked as an Intake and Assessment Social Worker in the Children and Families Division as well as working as a Substance Misuse social worker in the United Kingdom. Other areas of work experience include geriatric populations and mental health work with children and adults.  

In 2012, prior to the completion of her doctoral studies, Dr. Cooper accepted an Assistant Professor of Social Work position at Andrews University. While there and completing her dissertation, she began experiencing several health and life challenges related to uterine fibroids. This sparked an interest in exploring in more depth the experiences of women living with reproductive health challenges. 

Upon completion of her doctoral studies in 2014, and her own subsequent healing process, Dr. Cooper applied for a grant that would allow her to explore the aforementioned area. She was granted funding for research entitled, ‘Identity and Experience: The Lives of Women Living with Symptomatic Uterine Fibroids.’ Results from the study and its focus on individual story prompted her to start Reproductively Yours LLC which focuses on reducing the stigma associated with women’s reproductive narratives through education, story work, creativity and community building. Her greatest desire is for women that currently live or have lived with reproductive health challenges to know that they are not alone.  

Welcome to the show Dr. Cooper!  

  1. So you finally gave in to the prompting you felt in your heart, to start your business, what are your dreams for this business? What types of people are you hoping to help? Where do you see your business, your platform, by the end of 2020?

*The cost of IVF is around $10k for each cycle, was that a prompt for you to start your company correct?

Faith and childlessness

Christian community

Nutrition and self-care

Understanding who I am and who God created me to be

Reproductive health challenges and reproductive health trauma: Reproductively Yours.

  1. I was intrigued by the list of people and issues you wanted to or have researched. 
  • Researches reproductive issues–

Afro Caribbean women living with HIV

Being a woman

Being an immigrant

Being a black female immigrant 

Majority of women she interviews are Jamaican or Trinidadian

Do these subject matters, issues all tie together? How?  

  1. So, let’s talk about something we and many of our listeners know so much about, fibroids.   

We talked about our horrific experiences with fibroids, being in the car or out and having accidents, iron so low it was difficult for you to breathe, needing to have IV iron all dealing with this with no family around nearby, no real support system, then finding out after graduating college that early menopause had set in… 

Getting to be able to speak with other women who were going through the same things with fibroids, hysterectomy. 

So you got a grant through your college to research women who are dealing with these issues.   

During your research, qualitative research, you realized you were also researching yourself!

 She was having difficulties, feeling tired and worn out, and realized it was because the content was so close to home, she ended up allowing a friend to interview her and that was when everything started to fall into place. 

She read a quote that says ‘ the best research is research where the results lead back to yourself.’–Basal Vander Kolk.   

5) Working on writing a paper that includes the arts.  

Tell us more about the paper you are looking to write which will include another type of media: art.

6)  Did we miss anything? Tell the world!

Mentioned in the podcast:

https://www.besselvanderkolk.net/index.html

My contact information:

Website: https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Episode 114–The Holidays, The Loneliest Time of the Year

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life! Welcome to episode 114! 

Happy December!

This episode is brought to you by the ‘Your Blueprint for your Goals and Visions’ program which can be found on the shop page of our website, https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, It is literally a template, a blueprint that I created after years of researching how successful people plan for the new year. It’s simple. For a small investment in yourself this new year, download the template, fill in the blanks, and follow your decisions monthly, quarterly, bi-annually, and annually. The sooner you download the template, the sooner you can get a jump on the new year. 

You have the freedom to tweak and change what you want in the template, but the key is to work with the template throughout the year, allowing it to help you.  You get to witness your own mental, emotional, spiritual, and even physical growth! Place your order on the website and get to work on you!   

Patreon Contributors: I would like to thank my Patreon contributors. Remember, you may contribute via patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, or you may go to the website and click on the donate button.  Your monthly contributions via Patreon or your one-time donations are appreciated and used to help the platform to get the word out. Thank you!

 

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

  • Jordan Morgan
  • The Knights


Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

                                               Or

Visit the website at https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

It’s December! We are now smack dab in the middle of the Holiday Season, and 2019 is coming to a close! It’s been a tough year for many of us. I know some of us are ready to see it go bye-bye! If you are in the United States or you are an ex-pat, we celebrated Thanksgiving last month. I hope you had a wonderful family get together. And if you kept your own company, that’s great too. You know we introverts love our own company! 

So, there are a lot of changes taking place. I am finding that losing a parent changes you to the core. From big things to little things.  The stages of grief are real. They are real no matter what or whom we grieve. 

Remember, if you are grieving any type of loss, the holidays can tend to exacerbate those feelings. Here are just some of the things you can do to take the edge off whether you are navigating being childless during the holidays, or grieving the loss of a loved one:

  1. Seek therapy, and try to do so well before the Holidays so you get a head start on the feelings and emotions the Holidays can manifest.  But either way, it is never too late to strengthen your mental health.
  2. Speak to a trusted friend or religious leader. Talking to a good listener is a great release. 
  3. Take a bubble bath and take a good book to read or listen to. Or take Netflix, Amazon Prime, or your favorite TV app and watch a great movie!  Don’t forget the Epsom salts and lavender! 
  4. Go for a walk along your favorite lakefront, street, or neighborhood. 
  5. Sit at the coffee shop with a good beverage and a nice book. 

The key is to do these things right in the middle of the holidays.  Don’t worry about being judged because you will probably be judged anyway.  If you need to talk, be sure to join the Facebook group, Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan. 

I will be in the Facebook group throughout the season. And of course, the other admins will be in there as well. Also, the other ladies in the group are quite friendly and responsive. If you are feeling alone, come over to the group. There will always be someone there to talk to.       

Well, hopefully, you were not looking for October and November episodes. I took a much needed two-month hiatus. This just meant I used that time to work on this episode, content for 2020 episodes, work on my new limited-edition podcast, and the list goes on.  Yet, I appreciated the break. Thanks for understanding. In fact, I have decided that going forward, I will be taking October and November off. Sometimes it takes an overwhelming loss, and being overwhelmingly tired, to make a change you did not ever think you would. And those changes turn out to be just what was needed. 

In fact, some podcasters operate in seasons, like a television show. I never wanted to do that. Maybe it was FOMO–fear of missing out. Maybe I felt like I did not have enough episodes in the library. Maybe I was competing with myself. At any rate, it was just such a great break! I will be taking October and November off each year, moving forward.  

About the blog! It has been many months since I last blogged.  I did not realize how much I missed it! I will put a link in the show notes to my most recent blog, but I want to read a portion of it here if you don’t mind:         

‘Unfortunately, some people do not know how to either let kids be kids or move to another location, so they verbalize their aggravation, and that of course, can make most parents upset.  I believe even childless people know that children need room to grow physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

If someone says something mean to a mother about her child, it still should not be assumed that person does not and should not have children. If that is the thought process, who is being mean now?     

Look, I believe the reason society continues to propagate that mothers are more important than childless women is due to the innate need for humans to perpetuate the species. This means we will continue to hear mean spirited thoughts and belief systems spilling out of people’s mouths. They may not mean to be mean, in every instance. But the fact is, society tends to believe that once a woman has a child she is elevated to a special place, while childless women remain low on the totem pole. We are seen as society’s packing peanuts.’ 

Be sure to click the link in the show notes to read ‘the rest of the story! 

So, here’s the thing, we are heading into another year!  2020! What would you like to peel off of your life and toss into the garbage this year? You probably have not quite thought about it that way have you? But we are all works in progress. At least we should be. There is no perfect, or completely ‘done’ human. We all have triggers, we all have doubts, we all have fears, we all have hopes and dreams. You may be thinking you are too old to dream. Or maybe you think it is too late for the dreams and plans you had. 

But may I remind you that you can change your dreams. Not because you are wishy-washy, but because life has twists and turns. We can either work on navigating the twists and turns or stay stuck on what did not happen for us. Let’s not stay stuck there. Life is too short. Look, I have the same ups and downs you do. There are times, especially during the Holidays that I am surrounded by people I love, but I am lonely as all get out. And please, no attempts to set me up. I’m not interested. I am trying to make a point. We ALL have ups and downs. And I know this because we are all human, and the ups and downs are a part of the human condition. It is how we manage our ups and downs and not allowing life’s circumstances to manage us, which makes the difference.

We have to practice recognizing triggers, recognizing when those negative feelings are coming for a visit, and turning them away at the door. We turn the negative feelings and triggers away at the door with the list of things I mentioned above, bubble baths, walks, talking to a trusted friend, seeing a therapist. 

And knowing our strengths and weaknesses. Knowing whether or not we can go to a baby shower or to a children’s birthday party. The choice is all yours! If you never got the chance to listen, I will put a link to the episode on triggers in the show notes. Please listen to it. We all have triggers and the whole world will not know what triggers you. But when YOU know what triggers you, you will know how to manage those triggers so that you do not explode on those around you.  Look, we don’t want or need people to walk on eggshells around us. The goal is for us to get along without being made to feel less than by others or by ourselves. 

So I am asking you, What changes would you like to make about you, for you, in 2020?          

Thanks for tuning in today! Don’t forget to visit the Tee Public online merchandise store. There you will find content: t-shirts, hoodies, laptop cases, mugs, etc.with the Childless not by Choice logo! Every purchase means a contribution to the Childless not by Choice platform. Thank you! 

Well, thanks for tuning in. See you next year! Bye! 

Articles of interest:

https://www.getreligion.org/getreligion/2019/11/29/big-think-story-what-does-religion-have-to-do-with-slumping-global-birth-rates

https://yle.fi/uutiset/osasto/news/childlessness_trend_continues_in_finland/11082035

Advertisements and mentions: 

https://www.bullhorn.fm/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/2019-blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/beware-here-comes-the-holidays/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/

Beware, Here comes The Holidays!

As we approach the holidays, I want to remind the childless not by choice community as well as those who have children, that we must consider each other. Recently, I heard commentary from someone who just allowed words to tumble out of their mouth because they are living a life they by all means expected to live. 

They probably cannot understand those of us who by luck of the draw got none of it–no husband, no two and a half kids, no white picket fence.  As I listened to this person I recalled thinking to myself, ‘keep your mouth shut girly, you can’t bat every ball.’ The comment from this mother was so generalized it was grievous. 

Here’s the thing, if someone’s child is unruly in public, most of us would try to ignore the situation, or just move away. After all, children are typically afforded the space to be children. And I personally believe they should be children for as long as possible!

Unfortunately, some people do not know how to let kids be kids, so they verbalize their aggravation, and that of course, can make most parents upset.  I believe even childless people know that children need room to grow physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

If someone says something mean to a mother about her child, of course, that is never nice. Who knows what she may be going through with the child or in her life in general. Still, it should not be assumed that the person who verbalized their aggravation does not and should not have children. If that is the thought process, who is being mean now?     

Look, I believe the reason society continues to propagate that mothers are more important than childless women is due to the innate need for humans to perpetuate the species. Perpetuating the species is a natural thing. This means though, that we will continue to hear mean spirited thoughts and belief systems spilling out of people’s mouths. They may not mean to be mean, in every instance. But the fact is, society tends to believe that once a woman has a child she is elevated to a special place, while childless women remain low on the totem pole. We are seen as society’s packing peanuts. 

What use are you exactly? Why are you here? Those are the questions we as childless women and men will have to answer on our own; without any assistance from friends, family, or strangers. Because everyone has an opinion, and we definitely do not want to hear the opinion or beliefs of someone who is not living our type of life. The fact is, if we are here, we are indeed here for a reason, whether we have children or not.  And like every other human, we will figure out our purpose.  

After all, no human being should ever have to explain his or her existence. We belong here. And in fact, we childless women and men, expect to have our place at the table. 

As I have said on the podcast, https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-105-my-interview-with-pamela-mahoney-tsigdinos/ we pay taxes too. We buy groceries, we go on vacation, and we enjoy our family and friends.  We do indeed make beautiful, regular, normal contributions to society. We are wonderful aunts, caregivers, scientists, artists, siblings, bosses, guardians, employees, etc. Just like any other demographic in society. We should not have to explain this, but alas, we seem to have to. Regularly. 

Let’s explain with our lives. With our decision to be happy. With our relevance. With our joy. 

This holiday season, we will, as usual, attend the family get-togethers. We will attend the work parties. We will cook, bake, be a shoulder for our nieces and nephews, and whatever it is we find ourselves doing. But we will feel empowered to leave any gathering where we do not feel valued. We will create kind but firm boundaries, and exercise those boundaries with people who feel they have the right to speak to us in any manner they wish because our lives, the cards we have been dealt, do not meet their standards. 

We will live the life we have been given to its fullest. As we all should. Because whether we got that family or not, life is very short, and we cannot afford to live in fear of society. Society will march on long after we are gone. And although by our very existence it is possible to change society’s apparent died in the wool opinions and expectations, that is not all we were placed on this earth to do. We are also here to live our best most relevant and joyful lives!  

This holiday season, if you are a childless not by choice woman or man, remember you deserve to be here, there, or anywhere. Ignore the naysayers. Walk into that party or family gathering like you belong there. Because you do!   

 

 

 

Episode 107–Life Insurance, Long Term Care, and Retirement Communities, oh my!

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I would also like to thank everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.

Welcome to episode 107!

 

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

                                              Or

 

Visit the website at https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Well, this episode is chock full of great content, so let’s get started!

What’s new:

Podfest 2019–Talk about my interview, making new friends, one of whom I may interview soon:

Blocked from FB for most of a day!

Well, what do you think about this email? It came up in my work email and hit me like a ton of bricks:

‘A bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn.’–Helen Keller.

In the next few minutes, I am going to tell you about some things that will help you make the turn, instead of failing to make the turn.

You see, we did not get to have the children we so wanted. That is the bend in the road. But we can take that misfortune and turn the corner into the best most joyful and relevant life that we can.

 When you drive a vehicle and you begin to skid, the professionals advise that you turn into, not away from the skid. It seems quite the opposite of what our brains might tell us to do right? We want to get out of the situation as quickly as possible, and it seems like we should try to get out of the skid.  

Well, I would venture to say it is the same thought process with trauma, loss, etc. we just want to get out of the pain as quickly as possible, and that means going in the opposite direction, not towards the pain!

But the way I’m interpreting this quote, I need to turn into the curve, into the skid, until suddenly, one day, I find that I’ve turned the corner! What do you think?

Patreon Contributors: Well! I would like to thank my Patreon contributors for their monthly financial contribution to the platform. And becoming a Patron just got easier. The link https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice is now on the https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net website. Just go to the home screen, look to the left below the telephone, and you will see the Patreon link.

Clicking the link takes you to the Patreon site where you can choose whichever level of contribution fits your monthly budget. It’s that easy! Your contributions are appreciated!

And by the way, that telephone on the website, there is a link below it that allows you to leave me a 90-second message. Give me a shout out. I may play your message on a future episode!

Thank you:

  • Jordan Morgan
  • Ivy Calhoun
  • Sandra Carzado
  • Your Name Here

    Also: I will be creating a private VIP list on my Instagram page, @joyandrelevance. If you are a Patreon member and you are also on Instagram, I will add you to the VIP list which will allow you to be the first to know whenever there is big news afoot!

Now, we get into the meat of the episode: life insurance, long term care, retirement communities, oh my! Let’s talk about it!

But first, please note: While I am life and health insurance licensed in the state of Florida, I am not currently with a firm; so I am definitely not attempting to sell you any product. The things I am about to discuss are based on my experiences and on research that I did for this episode. The links to the research are in the show notes.

Links used in my research:

https://www.thinkadvisor.com/2013/08/30/the-shocking-statistics-behind-the-life-insurance/?slreturn=20190211231437

https://smartasset.com/checking-account/checking-account-average-balance

https://www.cnbc.com/2018/08/28/how-much-money-americans-have-saved-at-every-age.html

https://www.marketwatch.com/press-release/new-study-reveals-more-than-40-percent-of-americans-dont-have-any-form-of-life-insurance-2018-09-04

 

 

Stories you might find interesting:

https://www.radio.cz/en/section/curraffrs/one-in-six-czech-30-somethings-likely-to-remain-childless

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6802107/Fertility-issues-raise-risk-cancer-women.html

Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, including their concert schedule, visit their website at http://www.devotedministry.org.


My contact information:

Website: https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice



If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.

 

Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!


Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

 

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

 

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Episode 106–The Rest of the story

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I would also like to thank everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.

Welcome to episode 106!

 

  • Patreon Contributors: I would also like to thank my Patreon contributor Ivy Calhoun for her monthly financial contribution to the platform. Whether you contribute via patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, or you go to the website and contribute via PayPal, your contributions are appreciated and used to help the platform get the word out. Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

  • Ivy Calhoun
  • Your Name Here


    Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

                                              Or

Visit the website at https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

  • We are going to one episode per month starting in March.
  • I am working a day job now.
  • Honoring my parents.
  • The Podcast will continue on!
  • If this podcast, this platform, has helped or encouraged you; make a contribution toward helping create awareness and conversation.   
  • Your patronage, Paypal contributions, and product purchases help the podcast.
  • Thank you for tuning and staying plugged in with us!

My contact information:

Website: https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice



If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.

Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!


Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

 ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Episode 105–My interview with Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.

Welcome to episode 105!

•Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice


Jordan Morgan

Ivy Calhoun

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

                                              Or

Visit the website at https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Bio/Intro:

Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos (Sig- DIN – us) is an author, blogger and women’s health advocate. She emerged as a reluctant spokeswoman in 2008 after a health reporter from The New York Times asked if she’d be willing to openly discuss her infertility experience. Pamela discussed the stubborn persistence of the infertility condition and the lack of a cultural framework to process the losses associated with being childless not by choice. The New York Times feature story that resulted produced astonishment and relief that someone candidly addressed the trauma of failed IVF and legacy of infertility.

Soon thereafter she wrote what became an award-winning book called Silent Sorority. It became the first memoir on infertility not authored by a mother, Pamela’s writing explores the complicated, disenfranchised grief and identity issues that accompany involuntary childlessness. Now more than a decade outside of the grief she once felt so viscerally, she educates and writes about the false promises and limitations of reproductive medicine and the personal and social impacts that accompany failed IVF.

She is the co-founder of the grassroots initiative ReproTechTruths.org.  When she’s not researching and writing she enjoys discussing history, Indie films, documentaries, politics, current events and literature with extended family and friends.

Questions:

  1. In one of your articles, I read that childless not by choice women quote ‘have more time to confront our feelings than the mother who is busy raising or trying to have kids.’ That statement made me a little nervous as I’ve always believed that when we have too much time to think we can go to some dark or negative places, and sometimes that is good, as going to those places can help a healthier mind process and bring thoughts back to a good place resulting hopefully in a positive outcome of our processing. But what do you say to the woman who is still grieving and maybe not quite dealing with negative thoughts properly?      

2)  ‘It is quite striking to see that women who do have children but still wish for more children report poorer mental health than those who have no children but have come to accept it.’  This is a quote from your blog ‘Fess Up. What Are Your Blind Spots?’

In that article you made two great points: 1) if you or probably most childless not by choice women had had the child, they, we, wouldn’t grumble about the fact that these women should be happy they got the one. And 2) human nature tends to maintain a level of loss if we don’t get everything we wanted, i.e. the number of children we really wanted. I will be honest, one of my biggest pet peeves is to hear a woman murmur about not being able to have more children. I always want to say ‘are you kidding me right now?’   


3) The rest of us — we didn’t even make the cut as outliers — no graphics on the number of women who came away empty-handed after extensive (and expensive) fertility treatments and no graphics on the number of failed adoptions. That would be a great project for those of us running childless not by choice platforms, groups, etc, to gather that information from our readers, listeners, and followers?  

4) There is no ‘welcome to the club kit’ for childless not by choice women. We see the rites of passage, but we don’t get to partake.  What should we do instead? What is our rite of passage, and passage to where?

5) As I read the article your blog ‘Prince Harry and I Agree: Bury Grief at Your Peril’, your new neighbor upon hearing that you and your husband were never able to have children and she says ‘you can have one of mine’, I found myself thinking how far we have come as a society to be able to talk about childlessness, but how far we still have to go when people are still using that old, tired line. How far along are we, do you think? Do you think we’ve only just scratched the surface in 2019?  

6) In regards to Erik Erickson’s ‘Generativity versus stagnation’ stage–stage seven of his eight stages of the theory of psychosocial development’, (This stage takes place during middle adulthood (ages 40 to 65 yrs).  What can we do as we become older, to help alleviate that helpless feeling that we will leave the planet leaving nothing of consequence behind? Asking for a friend.

 

 Books, Articles, Blogs, by Pamela Tsigdinos:

https://blog.silentsorority.com/pope-prejudice-reinforce-negative-views/

https://blog.silentsorority.com/placing-motherhood-on-pedastel/

https://blog.silentsorority.com/grief/

 

https://blog.silentsorority.com/how-about-a-time-cover-story-on-women-who-arent-moms-or-childfree/

 

https://blog.silentsorority.com/blindspots/

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003PJ7D3U/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

Silent Sorority is an award-winning book. It reveals with candor, humor, and poignancy the intense and at times absurd experience of adjusting to a life as a “non-mom” when nature and science don’t cooperate in the family building department. Outside of the physical reckoning there lies the challenge of moving forward in a society that doesn’t know how to handle the awkwardness of infertility. With no Emily Post-like guidelines for supporting couples who can’t conceive, most well-intentioned “fertile” people miss the mark.

https://www.seleni.org/advice-support/2018/3/6/accepting-childlessness-after-infertility

https://www.coming2terms.com/2007/02/03/just-the-beginning/

https://www.coming2terms.com/2009/11/01/the-ultimate-test/

https://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html

Generativity versus stagnation is the seventh of eight stages of Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development. This stage takes place during middle adulthood (ages 40 to 65 yrs).
Generativity refers to “making your mark” on the world through creating or nurturing things that will outlast an individual.

People experience a need to create or nurture things that will outlast them, often having mentees or creating positive changes that will benefit other people.

We give back to society through raising our children, being productive at work, and becoming involved in community activities and organizations. Through generativity, we develop a sense of being a part of the bigger picture.

Success leads to feelings of usefulness and accomplishment, while failure results in shallow involvement in the world.

By failing to find a way to contribute, we become stagnant and feel unproductive. These individuals may feel disconnected or uninvolved with their community and with society as a whole. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of care.

 

Pamela’s Contact information:

Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos
Award-Winning Author & Top Health Blogger
Connect: ptsigdinos@yahoo.com
@PamelaJeanne

Check out ReproTechTruths and the #UnmaskingIVF campaign

My contact information:

Website: https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!

Until next time! Bye!

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

 

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Childless not by Choice episode 102-Christmas 2018

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless, not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted.

Welcome to episode 102! Our Christmas 2018 episode!

I have some VIP’s I need to give a shout out to:

  • Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)

    https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
  • Jordan Morgan
  • Ivy Calhoun
  • Your Name Here 

Questions or comments? Contact me:

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

                                              Or

 

Visit the website at https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me a message!

Here it is! The link to your blueprint for the new year…instead of making a basic list of new year’s resolutions:

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/2019-blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/

Well, here we are, Christmas 2018. Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays, and wishing you all the best in 2019! Our next episode will be on January 14th!

 

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, it’s still 2018 after all. How was your year? What accomplishments, milestones, or feats did you meet or overcome? What plans do you have for the new year?

I create goals and vision board list, using an outline I have tweaked throughout the years. Writing a list of goals on a yellow lined piece of paper just wasn’t working out for me. I would forget about the paper until about halfway through the year when I would see it sticking out of the daytimer, and then I would try to play catch up.  It wasn’t efficient and my dreams and visions were not coming to fruition. I was just ambling through one year after another.

But the last three years have been different.  Right around 2014 or so I started researching how successful people created their goals list. One of the things I noticed was that successful people did not have new years resolutions. They had goals. And many of them also attended and created vision board parties.  I became curious and decided to create my own goals list. In fact, it’s turned out to be much more than a goals list.

Some may even say I went a little overboard. Based on my research,    

I created a personalized goals/vision board/reading list. I then broke down my goals into monthly and quarterly expectations. I created a section for my reading list, and a list of pictures I would like to cut out for my vision board.

Yes, I got really detailed.  But can I tell you that each year that I took the time to create this goals and vision board outline, so many things that were on the list happened?! I was no longer hopeful while directionless, which is what happens when you write a list of dreams and wishes down on a piece of yellow lined paper and then forget about them.  You mean well, but you don’t do much because you don’t have the goals and visions in front of you literally guiding you!

Let me give you an example: I had set a number of downloads for this podcast, that I wanted to see by the end of the year. I literally said I would like to see this number of downloads and listens by December 31st. I didn’t just sit back and wish for it to happen, I set about promoting the podcast all over social media, handing out business cards at events, doing everything I had always done to create awareness about the platform.  But the crazy thing was that my goal number was set in October! I couldn’t believe it! And the number of downloads have continued to increase. Somebody is going through and listening to all of the episodes. Thank you!

The outline for this goals and visions list is so interactive you can tweak it throughout the year. You don’t just write something down and then forget it. It does not allow you to because you are looking at it, tweaking, and updating with met goals on a regular basis. I really believe you will like being in charge of your goals, dreams, visions, and possibilities!

Sound interesting?  If you would like a copy of the outline I personally use for my goals and visions, simply email me at info@civillamorgan.com for instructions on how to obtain your copy. There is a fee of just $10.00 for this copyrighted outline that will change the way you get ready for all of your future new years.  

So earlier I asked how your 2018 was. Have you had a chance to look back on 2018 yet? I start my look back, and my look forward right around September. I’m a daytimer type of person as I mentioned earlier, so I buy a fresh new daytimer in September and start updating it with birthdays and events for the new year.

Look, some of us are going to limp out of 2018, it’s been such a tough year.  But I encourage you to still expect a great 2019. Positive expectation is half the battle. It takes you halfway toward having a better year no matter how things look right now.

At the time of this recording, we’re halfway into the final month of the year, and I’ve received some insight from an unlikely event. Life does not stop because it’s the Holidays.

What’s my fresh insight? That not everyone is going to be comfortable with this platform or our childlessness. Still. And I realize that, but when something happens to remind me of that fact, it’s like a fresh new revelation for me. I had two interactions in one day. One mom, I spoke to and congratulated on her beautiful children, she was gracious and thankful. Another mom I tried to say hello to tried to avoid eye contact!

It was literally a night and day experience.

It reminded me that there are still some who see what I am doing as a means of discomfort. I suppose it goes with the awareness creating that this platform does.

But I still believe that as we are all human beings no matter where in the world we live, and no matter our circumstances, we can find common ground. And that’s when it hit me. There are two things everyone can do this holiday season, and all through the year:

  1. Find common ground.
  2. Be kind.

You see, as human beings, we like to put each other in boxes. And we love totem poles. If someone does not fit in a certain box, we call them an anomaly. So here in America, certain people are supposed to like certain foods, another group may like to drive a certain type of vehicle, etc. But if you see someone driving something their people group does not typically drive, they are an anomaly. This is the very reason I do not like to generalize about people groups. No people group is a collective. Just as no demographic is a collective.

You may be listening to this podcast, and you may be childless not by choice, but I can guarantee you we both had and are having different experiences even in our childless not by choice issues. It is dangerous to act and react, to treat all people of a certain demographic in the same way.  

And the totem poles, I didn’t forget about those. Yes, we like totem poles. And I am not talking about the totem poles that certain people groups engender in their ethnic backgrounds. I am referring to the fact that human beings like to know they are above another human being on the totem pole of life. We are always attempting to one-up each other. We want to know that we are doing better than the next person. Indeed, if we see someone we perceive is doing better than we are, envy and jealousy can set in.

But why not just be happy for that person as we continue on our own journey? My mom told us as children never to begrudge anyone because we did not know what they did or had to go through to obtain what they have. Try being happy for people even when they have exactly what you would die for. Be happy, wish them well, and continue on your journey.

That leads into my second point: be kind. There is a quote, and I used it for day nine of my December 31 Days of Empathy campaign. ‘Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.’–anonymous.

Unfortunately, no one escapes this earth without having been dealt some tough, heartbreaking events. And we don’t always get to know when someone is going through, because most humans share their grief only with those they trust.  After all, many of us as childless not by choice people have been asked why don’t we just…’ just get over it, just adopt, just go play with the kids in the family, just. All of those justs are an utter lack of empathy. Maybe we can just be kind to each other. 

This Holiday season, no matter what demographic you belong to, try to find common ground and be kind. No matter what, be kind. If it seems that those you are attempting to find common ground with are not interested, move on. And as childless not by choice people, be sure to go where you are valued because whether you had the child or not, you are a valued human being no matter what your society says. Remember, the woman or man who has children has problems too. They may not be the same problems we have, but we should never discount anyone’s problems.

One person may be worried about their child’s grades, what college they will get into, or even how they will pay for their child’s education. Another person may be worried about putting away enough money for long-term care because they will have no one to take care of them when they are old and become ill.

The common ground is that we all have worries.

So be kind to yourself and others. And find common ground. And enjoy your holiday season however it looks!  Whether you have little or much, whether you celebrate with a huge family or it’s you and your fur baby. Enjoy your own company or the company of those around you. And no matter what, you will find something to be thankful for. I know you will.   

Questions about the platform or podcast? Suggestions for an episode or even looking to purchase ad time? contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.

Articles, episodes, and sites mentioned in this episode:

So I received a notification that there was a childless not by choice article available for me to read. I opened it, and the author basically blamed ones astrological sign and other card reading devices for people’s childlessness. Did you know that was a thing? It was news to me. No, not posting it here!  There’s always some new and random way to try to poke the childless not by choice in the eye huh? Don’t you worry, with all of this awareness and conversation going on in and about our demographic, such foolishness will soon be a thing of the past.

Now check out this next article…

https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2018/12/hollywood-still-doesnt-know-how-to-talk-about-childless-women/577906/

Once again, here is the link to your blueprint for a successful new year!

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/2019-blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/

Well, remember to reach out if you would like the link to the Goals and Visions blueprint. I am excited to hear and see how it will change your life in 2019. And once again, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and I will talk to you again on January 14th!

Bye!    

My contact information:
Info@civillamorgan.com

Website: https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Episode 101 IVF versus PTSD

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I am also reaching out to everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.

Welcome to episode 101!

 

Well, I have some VIP’s I need to give a shout out to!

Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

  • Jordan Morgan
  • Ivy Calhoun
  • Your Name Here

Well, I would like to give a special shout-out to Dr. Cristina Archetti, Oslo, Norway, for suggesting an episode on the connection between IVF and PTSD. I have put a link to her YouTube video in the show notes. We connected after I watched her video on YouTube, entranced that someone created a video all about the childless not by choice experience. Thank you, Dr. Cristina!

 

Content:

For people with PTSD, it is very common for their memories to be triggered by sights, sounds, smells, or even feelings that they experience. These triggers can bring back memories of the trauma and cause intense emotional and physical reactions, such as raised heart rate, sweating and muscle tension.–Google

So, what is PTSD–post-traumatic stress syndrome? I think we generally believe we know what it is, whether we have experienced it ourselves due to direct experience, know someone who has it, or watched a movie where someone exhibited it. As with most issues, diseases, experiences these days; we are familiar with it on some level.

But here is a clinical definition:

‘Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) describes a series of predictable symptoms that take hold once a patient has survived – or in some cases witnessed – a severely traumatic or life-threatening event. Because the brain becomes overwhelmed by the pain and fear of the trauma, memories of the event do not fully process, causing the individual to re-experience the trauma as if it were occurring in the present.’–theoakstreatment.com.

They go on to say that ‘Signs of PTSD can range from flashbacks to nightmares, panic attacks to eating disorders and cognitive delays to lowered verbal memory capacity. Many trauma survivors also encounter substance abuse issues, as they attempt to self-medicate the negative effects of PTSD. Most mental health professionals and diagnostic manuals agree on 17 major signs of post-traumatic stress disorder. Just as not every trauma survivor will develop PTSD, not every individual with PTSD will develop the same signs – and rarely do all 17 exist in one individual.’ Wow, 17 signs of PTSD, I did not know that!   

Also discussed on the website are:

Signs of Re-experiencing Trauma in PTSD
Trauma Avoidance Signs of PTSD
Hyperarousal Signs of PTSD–i.e. One PTSD symptom associated with hyperarousal is insomnia.
The Importance of PTSD Treatment
PTSD Medication–as I read up on the PTSD Medications, I recognized one. Most people would probably recognize it if I mentioned it. It never occurred to me that anyone experiencing childlessness not by choice could possibly be experiencing or have experienced PTSD.
Well, my OB/GYN had wanted to prescribe this medication to me for the longest time, but I always said no because of the negative perception attached to that medication. However one day I went for a follow-up visit and out of the clear blue started crying.
He seemed surprised and said that he knew I had turned down the prescription before but that he had never seen me cry throughout my entire ordeal. He wrote the prescription, I held onto it for a week or so, trying to figure out what to do. And then I filled it. There. I think you may be the first person I had ever told.
But what does PTSD have to do with IVF? Well, first let’s make sure we are all on the same page with what IVF is, exactly, and for the purposes of this episode, I will not go into causes of childlessness not by choice except to say in a nutshell, it is when a couple just cannot conceive naturally for any number of reasons.
I want to talk more along the lines of what goes into the action of IVF, and how it relates to PTSD. So here, In a nutshell, according to a Google search is the definition of IVF: a medical procedure whereby an egg is fertilized by sperm in a test tube or elsewhere outside the body.’

But back to PTSD for a moment:

As I did my research, I had a burning question: Can PTSD be cured? We all want a cure, right? We don’t necessarily want to live with negativity or the results of a negative experience for the rest of our lives. Unfortunately, there are some instances where we will have to live with the effects or after-effects of a life event. In the case of PTSD,  research says ‘As with most mental illnesses, no cure exists for PTSD, but the symptoms can be effectively managed to restore the affected individual to normal functioning. The best hope for treating PTSD is a combination of medication and therapy.’

Two similar therapies I found to help people with PTSD are CBT–cognitive behavioral therapy, ‘a type of psychotherapy in which negative patterns of thought about the self and the world are challenged in order to alter unwanted behavior patterns or treat mood disorders such as depression.’ And CPT–’Cognitive processing therapy (CPT) is a manualized therapy used by clinicians to help people recover from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and related conditions. It includes elements of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) treatments.’

Slight differences in the two. Clinicians may find the differences a little more than slight, but they seem very similar to me.  

So, IVF, how can it cause PTSD?

General knowledge is that only 25% of attempts at IVF is successful. 25%! According to a 2017 article in theconversation.com, that success rate is actually 33%. That’s still a relatively low number. In this same article, they say that there is now a way for women using IVF to get pregnant to know the likelihood of success. Quote: ‘Overall, for women starting IVF, 33% have a baby as a result of their first cycle, increasing to 54-77% by the eighth cycle.’  The eighth cycle?! Many insurance plans do not cover IVF on the first cycle nevermind the eight. Eight. I have a question for you: Is there a point where it becomes too many tries, whether you have the money or not?

OK, IVF:

‘In Vitro Fertilization is an assisted reproductive technology (ART) commonly referred to as IVF. IVF is the process of fertilization by extracting eggs, retrieving a sperm sample, and then manually combining an egg and sperm in a laboratory dish. The embryo(s) is then transferred to the uterus. Other forms of ART include gamete intrafallopian transfer (GIFT)and zygote intrafallopian transfer (ZIFT).’–Americanpregnancy.org

 

 Some side effects after IVF may include:

  • Passing a small amount of fluid (may be clear or blood-tinged) after the procedure
  • Mild cramping
  • Mild bloating
  • Constipation
  • Breast tenderness

‘Women who undergo fertility treatments may find the situation so distressing that they develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a new study says.

In the study, close to 50 percent of participants met the official criteria for PTSD, meaning they could be diagnosed with the condition.

That’s about six times higher than the percentage of people in the general population who suffer from PTSD (8 percent.)’https://www.livescience.com/22194-fertility-treatment-ptsd.html

Additional information I found out about the possible dangers of IVF:

  1. Possibly linked to cancer

2) Multiple births. …
3) Premature delivery and low birth weight. …
4) Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome:
Rapid weight gain — such as 33 to 44 pounds (15 to 20 kilograms) in five to 10 days.
5) Severe abdominal pain.
6) Severe, persistent nausea and vomiting.
7) Blood clots in legs.
8) Decreased urination.
9) Shortness of breath.
10) Tight or enlarged abdomen.
11) Miscarriage. …
12) Egg-retrieval procedure complications. …
13) Ectopic pregnancy. …
14) Birth defects. …
15) Ovarian cancer.

Links used for research:

PTSD:

https://theoakstreatment.com/ptsd/signs-and-symptoms/


http://vitals.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/08/08/13184349-fertility-treatments-may-put-women-at-risk-for-ptsd-symptoms-study-suggests?lite

https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/641243?journalCode=ssr

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-are-treatments-for-posttraumatic-stress-disorder#1

(https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa040603

IVF:

http://theconversation.com/women-now-have-clearer-statistics-on-whether-ivf-is-likely-to-work-81256

http://americanpregnancy.org/infertility/in-vitro-fertilization/

https://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/cambridge-news/ivf-treatment-cambridge-nhs-13465755

https://www.livescience.com/22194-fertility-treatment-ptsd.html

https://www.winfertility.com/risks-ivf-six-rare-complications-ivf-treatment/

https://www.infertilitytexas.com/blog/is-there-a-link-between-ivf-and-cancer

 

Articles and podcast episodes mentioned in this episode:

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-68-is-childlessness-a-crisis-caplans-theory-of-crisis/

https://reprotechtruths.org/ivf-trauma/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XcAzx0jlhI&t=9s

Special thank you to:

Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling

813 500 7765. Their email address is www. Morganair.net.

Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate. Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it!

Devoted, the musical duo who created my theme music. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, visit their website at http://www.devotedministry.org.

My contact information:
info@civillamorgan.com
Websites: https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice.


Until next time! Bye!

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

 

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

 

image courtesy of Google Images

Episode 98–Pet Therapy for the Childless not by Choice Demographic

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I am also reaching out to everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.

Welcome to episode 98!

I would like to thank my sponsor Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765. Their email address is

http://www.Morganair.net

Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate.

Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it.

I would also like to thank Devoted, the musical duo who created my theme music. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, visit their website at http://www.devotedministry.org.

Well, I have some VIP’s I need to give a shout out to!

  • Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)

    https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
  • Jordan Morgan
  • Ivy Calhoun
  • Your Name Here

Michelle Link

As the last of their six children are now grown, Michelle Link and her husband of 29 years have opted to continue the energy and chaos of family in their home, by adopting dogs.

Training their three Goldendoodles has become Michelle’s passion, which ultimately culminated in the therapy dog certification of their girl, Murphy.

Michelle volunteers with Murphy in several capacities as a therapy dog team, but she is also inspired to educate and encourage others, sharing the life-changing benefits she’s discovered in her personal relationship with Murphy.

Questions:

1)Murphy is a Goldendoodle–Therapy and emotional support dog,

         does the type of dog matter for training and certification?

2) One of the things I learned from you in our pre-interview conversation was that there is a difference between a ‘Prescribed emotional support dog’, and a ‘certified’ dog; What’s the difference?

And then what is the difference between a companion pet,  an Emotional Support Animal, and a Service Dog?

 

3) Other than your own experiences with pets, are you aware of any studies that support the benefits of a relationship with a pet?

‘American Journal of Critical Care Study’

‘Mass General Study, women who had at least one child and a pet…’

FMRI Study…levels of oxytocin’.

 

4) When did you personally realize the healing value of a relationship with dogs?

5) Speak to us about the fact that there is value in having fur babies, and that doing so does not diminish or minimize those with pets who happen not to have children?

 Michelle’s contact info:

TherapyTeamMurphy@mail.com

Instagram: @therapyteammurphy

 

Articles and links just for you:

https://positivelywoof.com/pet-calendar-year-at-a-glance/

The following link is for your enjoyment:

https://www.yahoo.com/gma/woman-removed-plane-boarding-emotional-support-squirrel-105012179–abc-news-topstories.html?.tsrc=fauxdal&guccounter=2

My contact information:

Website: https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

 

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless, not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

 

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice.

Until next time! Bye!

Episode 97–Can Childless Women Bond?

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I am also reaching out to everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.

Welcome to episode 97!

I would like to thank my sponsor Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765.  Their email address is www.Morganair.net.

Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate.

Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it.

I would also like to thank Devoted, the musical duo who created my theme music. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, visit their website at http://www.devotedministry.org.

Well, I have some VIP’s I need to give a shout out to!

  • Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

  • Jordan Morgan
  • Ivy Calhoun
  • Your Name Here

Content:

In the month of October, I am highlighting the importance of maintaining mental health in the childless not by choice community through therapy dogs, and through pets in general.

Those of us who are childless not by choice and have or had pets are often chided for having pets instead of having children. Many times those who do not know our story or understand our journey find it easier to make fun of childless women with pets, reminding us that a pet is not the same as a child.

I believe that as childless not by choice women we are well aware of the difference between a human and an animal, but it is difficult for most people to understand that everyone has a story, and that everyone’s story is different. Unbelievably, some people still believe that a childless woman or couple just did not want children. It is still difficult for many to understand that life just dealt some us a different set of cards.

What we, whether childless not by choice or not, do with the cards we have been dealt proves to ourselves and to the world, that we are strong, or on our way to gaining strength through and for our journey.

Deciding to have a pet and to spoil that pet is just one way we as childless not by choice women decide to manage the life we have been given. Notice, I did not say handle or cope with, I said manage. Because we must manage our lives no matter how that life turned out, and not allow life to manage us.

So this month, I am posting a guest blog written by one of our childless not by choice members. It will post on the 15th. Our guest blogger will take us on a journey, showing us how having pets helped her come to terms with childlessness.

And on the 22nd, you will get to hear episode 98, where I interview Michelle Link and her beautiful therapy dog Murphy. That was such a wonderful interview! I learned quite a bit as we discussed the differences between therapy dogs and emotional support dogs; and how important they both are to mental health.

The bottom line is this, whether you are childless not by choice or not, the need and the ability to care for another being helps heal the soul.  And when caring for this being as a childless not by choice woman or man, the healing process can help fill your mind with love instead of dwelling on a  life that did not happen as expected.

We can choose to dwell on what did not happen for us, or we can reach out and help others. We can reach out and adopt a dog or cat from a shelter, or buy a fish tank and fill it with our version of beauty. We can reach out to the beauty the world has to offer, or we can go within and live with the hurt of what could have been. What is not, and in many cases will not be.

We have choices even when we did not get to choose whether or not we would have children. That is not the only choice we get in life.

And life is short. Choose and then live that choice out loud.

When you do that, if you are chided for being a pet mom, you will not even hear the commentary because  chances are you already made the decision to live the life you have been given. How strong are you!?

so come with us on our journey through the month of October. It’s going to be beautiful!  

https://positivelywoof.com/pet-calendar-year-at-a-glance/

Also highlighted in October is Miscarriage Awareness. If your journey includes miscarriage, please accept my deepest condolences. Be sure to visit the Resource tab on the website for an article I wrote on dealing with the grief of miscarriage. To be transparent, miscarriage is not a part of my journey. But I wrote the article to encourage you with hope for your journey even through your loss. I hope you will take a moment to read the article.      

Articles of note and interest:

https://positivelywoof.com/pet-calendar-year-at-a-glance/

https://resolve.org/what-are-my-options/living-childfree/navigating-living-your-life-childlessness-and-child-free-after-infertility/

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/06/world/asia/afghanistan-rasool-landay-childless-women-scam.html

https://thegrio.com/2018/10/06/tracee-ellis-ross-says-shes-good-with-being-45-single-and-childless/

PLEASE NOTE: in the previous episode I mentioned that my old title was showing up on the Podcast section of iHeart Radio. That has been corrected. You will now find the title Childless not by Choice on iHeart Radio’s Podcast section.

My contact information:

Website: https://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM


If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com
for details.

Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, or anyone of following apps in your app store: Stitcher Radio, Overcast, Castro, Podbean, etc; or the radio apps such as Spotify, iHeart Radio, and Google Play Radio. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!


Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

 

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.