barrenness

Episode 99–Childless not by Choice woman gets raw and real

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I am also reaching out to everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.

Welcome to episode 99!

I would like to thank my sponsor Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765.  Their email address is

www. Morganair.net

Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate.

Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it.

I have some VIP’s I need to give a shout out to!

  • Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)

    https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

  • Jordan Morgan
  • Ivy Calhoun
  • Your Name Here


Episodes mentioned:

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/childless-not-by-choice-shame/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-88-finding-hope-today-my-interview-with-licensed-therapist-christy-jordan/

Special thank you to:

Devoted, the musical duo who created my theme music. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, visit their website at http://www.devotedministry.org.

My contact information:

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM


If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com
for details.

Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, or any of the following apps: Stitcher, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!


Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

 ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Episode 99–Childless not by Choice woman gets raw and real

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I am also reaching out to everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.

Welcome to episode 99!

I would like to thank my sponsor Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765.  Their email address is

www. Morganair.net

Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate.

Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it.

I have some VIP’s I need to give a shout out to!

  • Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)

    https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

  • Jordan Morgan
  • Ivy Calhoun
  • Your Name Here


Episodes mentioned:

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/childless-not-by-choice-shame/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-88-finding-hope-today-my-interview-with-licensed-therapist-christy-jordan/

Special thank you to:

Devoted, the musical duo who created my theme music. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, visit their website at http://www.devotedministry.org.

My contact information:

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM


If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com
for details.

Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, or any of the following apps: Stitcher, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!


Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

 ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Episode 98–Pet Therapy for the Childless not by Choice Demographic

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I am also reaching out to everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.

Welcome to episode 98!

I would like to thank my sponsor Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765. Their email address is

http://www.Morganair.net

Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate.

Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it.

I would also like to thank Devoted, the musical duo who created my theme music. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, visit their website at http://www.devotedministry.org.

 

Well, I have some VIP’s I need to give a shout out to!

  • Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)

    https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
  • Jordan Morgan
  • Ivy Calhoun
  • Your Name Here

 

Michelle Link

As the last of their six children are now grown, Michelle Link and her husband of 29 years have opted to continue the energy and chaos of family in their home, by adopting dogs.

Training their three Goldendoodles has become Michelle’s passion, which ultimately culminated in the therapy dog certification of their girl, Murphy.

Michelle volunteers with Murphy in several capacities as a therapy dog team, but she is also inspired to educate and encourage others, sharing the life-changing benefits she’s discovered in her personal relationship with Murphy.

 

Questions:

1)Murphy is a Goldendoodle–Therapy and emotional support dog,

         does the type of dog matter for training and certification?

 

2) One of the things I learned from you in our pre-interview conversation was that there is a difference between a ‘Prescribed emotional support dog’, and a ‘certified’ dog; What’s the difference?

And then what is the difference between a companion pet,  an Emotional Support Animal, and a Service Dog?

 

3) Other than your own experiences with pets, are you aware of any studies that support the benefits of a relationship with a pet?

‘American Journal of Critical Care Study’

‘Mass General Study, women who had at least one child and a pet…’

FMRI Study…levels of oxytocin’.

 

4) When did you personally realize the healing value of a relationship with dogs?

 

5) Speak to us about the fact that there is value in having fur babies, and that doing so does not diminish or minimize those with pets who happen not to have children?

 

 Michelle’s contact info:

TherapyTeamMurphy@mail.com

Instagram: @therapyteammurphy

Articles and links just for you:

https://positivelywoof.com/pet-calendar-year-at-a-glance/

 

The following link is for your enjoyment:

https://www.yahoo.com/gma/woman-removed-plane-boarding-emotional-support-squirrel-105012179–abc-news-topstories.html?.tsrc=fauxdal&guccounter=2

My contact information:

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless, not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

 

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice.

Until next time! Bye!

Episode 98–Pet Therapy for the Childless not by Choice Demographic

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I am also reaching out to everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.

Welcome to episode 98!

I would like to thank my sponsor Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765. Their email address is

http://www.Morganair.net

Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate.

Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it.

I would also like to thank Devoted, the musical duo who created my theme music. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, visit their website at http://www.devotedministry.org.

Well, I have some VIP’s I need to give a shout out to!

  • Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)

    https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
  • Jordan Morgan
  • Ivy Calhoun
  • Your Name Here

Michelle Link

As the last of their six children are now grown, Michelle Link and her husband of 29 years have opted to continue the energy and chaos of family in their home, by adopting dogs.

Training their three Goldendoodles has become Michelle’s passion, which ultimately culminated in the therapy dog certification of their girl, Murphy.

Michelle volunteers with Murphy in several capacities as a therapy dog team, but she is also inspired to educate and encourage others, sharing the life-changing benefits she’s discovered in her personal relationship with Murphy.

Questions:

1)Murphy is a Goldendoodle–Therapy and emotional support dog,

         does the type of dog matter for training and certification?

2) One of the things I learned from you in our pre-interview conversation was that there is a difference between a ‘Prescribed emotional support dog’, and a ‘certified’ dog; What’s the difference?

And then what is the difference between a companion pet,  an Emotional Support Animal, and a Service Dog?

 

3) Other than your own experiences with pets, are you aware of any studies that support the benefits of a relationship with a pet?

‘American Journal of Critical Care Study’

‘Mass General Study, women who had at least one child and a pet…’

FMRI Study…levels of oxytocin’.

 

4) When did you personally realize the healing value of a relationship with dogs?

5) Speak to us about the fact that there is value in having fur babies, and that doing so does not diminish or minimize those with pets who happen not to have children?

 Michelle’s contact info:

TherapyTeamMurphy@mail.com

Instagram: @therapyteammurphy

 

Articles and links just for you:

https://positivelywoof.com/pet-calendar-year-at-a-glance/

The following link is for your enjoyment:

https://www.yahoo.com/gma/woman-removed-plane-boarding-emotional-support-squirrel-105012179–abc-news-topstories.html?.tsrc=fauxdal&guccounter=2

My contact information:

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

 

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless, not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

 

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice.

Until next time! Bye!

A Question, An Answer, and Lots of Love!

 

My parents married with the intention of having a large family together, which is how I’m the firstborn of seven: five girls, two boys. Of all my parents’ daughters, I’m the only one diagnosed at 15 with polycystic ovarian syndrome and informed I’d never bear a child. While one of my sisters has chosen to remain single and childless so that she can achieve her dreams of international travel, each of my other sisters has married and had children. 

It hurts to be the only married, childless woman among my fertile, married sisters. It hurts when I see two of them pregnant at the same time, especially when they pose together for pictures. It hurts to be at family gatherings, and their conversation turns to motherhood, and I cannot participate. Not knowing what else to do, I stopped going to family gatherings. I was hurting too much, and I wanted something I did not know how to communicate.

One time, I texted my sister, Sarah, volunteering to babysit for her.  She replied, “Okay.” But due to lack of communication, I felt like she preferred that only women with children babysit for her. From that thought, I jumped to the conclusion that Sarah did not consider me qualified to babysit her children because I am not a mother.

My reproductive disability had me feeling “less than” my sisters because of how I desperately wanted children. 

I felt that babysitting my sisters’ children was a privilege I desperately coveted, but how could I ask for it? I was like a beggar at a king’s banquet table, stomach rumbling with hunger, staring at heaps of delicious food, but unable to take part.

Many days I cried because all I wanted was to spend time with my nieces and nephews, but because I did not ask, I did not communicate; my sisters had no idea how much I hurt, or how to help. Even so, my mom and sisters told me they consider me a vital part of the family – a phrase which felt so meaningless to me. I thought, “If that’s true, then why can’t I babysit my sisters’ kids? I love them, too.”

I arrived at the bottom of my pit of despair when my oldest sister Sarah began mentoring our youngest sister April, who had her firstborn some months ago. April lives in another state, and she needed Sarah’s help in adjusting to the pressures of motherhood. I grieved over what my infertility cost me just on the sisterly level, and I felt just enough anger over my loss to finally verbalize what I had buried deep inside for too long.

 

I called my Mom and cried as I explained how one time, lots of months previously, I had offered to babysit for Sarah, and she had rejected my offer. I sobbed as I told her how that made me feel that I wasn’t qualified to babysit her children because I’m not a mom. I said that whenever I’m with my sisters’ children, I don’t feel the weight of my infertility grief because I’m focused on how blessed I am to be their aunt. Mom let me cry, and she listened, and then she said that she would approach both Sarah, and my other sister Laura, and ask them whether they would mind letting me babysit for them. Sarah has four children, and so does Laura.

Weeks passed, and silence prevailed. I didn’t get an update from Mom. But I felt so much relief from having expressed my desire to babysit, I didn’t despair. Instead, I made the choice that I would not place the burden of whether I could be happy upon my sisters. I knew that for the sake of my sanity, I had to choose to be content no matter what.

The next time my Mom saw me, she gave me a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses, and a greeting card congratulating me on my new job. Then she told me that she had spoken to my sisters, and she asked them if either of them would mind letting me babysit for them. They both enthusiastically embraced the idea. Each of them had thought that if they asked me to babysit for them, they would be burdening me, they had not felt comfortable asking me.

Their conversation had occurred weeks back, and Mom had forgotten to tell me about it, and she apologized for taking so long to get back with me. I cried again, but this time, feeling so loved! That phrase about me being a vital member of my family didn’t feel so meaningless anymore. My Mom hugged me and told me she loved me, and that she was thankful for how I dared to be vulnerable with her in the middle of my pain.

I visited with Sarah, and she said that she would be delighted to let me watch her children, as often as I ask. She said that she knew I was hurting, but she didn’t know a practical way she could help until our Mom asked her if I could babysit for her. I advised her that children were no burden, but my infertility grief is. Sarah told me she loves me so much.

We planned a babysitting day and she allowed me to keep her oldest two for a few hours. It happened! And their behavior was perfect – I enjoyed every moment with them, watching cartoons and eating snacks. Sarah used the time to get a massage. We both felt loved–her for getting her ‘me time’, and me for getting to spend time with her kids. The kids felt loved because they got to watch cartoons and eat snacks.

Soon, I have plans to visit Laura and her children. They are good at loving on me, too.

The beggar was given favor and allowed to take part in the feast. And now the beggar feels like royalty, too.

Loved royalty.

Episode 68–Is Childlessness a Crisis? Caplan’s Theory of Crisis

Hello, everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.

                                                        

Thank you’s:

  • Thank you for your FB re-shares and your Twitter comments and re-tweets. It is always appreciated.

 

  • Individual thank you’s if any:

Thank you, Lily, for your email thanking me for the newsletter and for the podcast. That means a lot to me as I continue to create content for us.

 

Remember, you may register for the newsletter or listen to any podcast episode by simply visiting http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net. I have created and am creating content for you on a regular basis, and it’s all on the website.

Well, today I am going to discuss a subject of which I knew nothing, but for which I use regularly as my platform’s byline.  It’s a funny thing about not knowing what we don’t know, isn’t it? 

All through the platform, in all my intros, I say that ‘you can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life.’ Never realizing that thought process could possibly have its roots in a sociological or psychological process for coping.

As many of you know, I wanted children more than anything on this planet. I managed pain and embarrassment for a decade attempting to buy time to possibly have a child. Ultimately, it did not happen. I wanted to have a child or children with someone who would help me raise them. I really could not imagine raising a child by myself, although at one point in my 10-year journey I did consider IVF as I started to run out of time, and after two failed attempts at adoption. 

I finally scheduled the surgery that would end my physical pain, embarrassing monthly accidents, and any hope I had left, of ever having a child.   

I fought and struggled my way through sadness, bitterness, shame, fear, feeling like a second-class citizen, battling all the negative thoughts that tried to take up residence in my mind.

I made the decision, the choice; to journey to a place of acceptance and realization that I would not have the children and the lifestyle I had expected. I had to decide: what kind of life would I have? Would I allow myself to live as a self-imposed second-class, shamed, and embarrassed about my situation citizen? Or would I make the decision to speak out about my situation knowing there were millions of women experiencing a similar journey?  Women who were and are hiding in plain sight?

Would I be willing to face down the critics who asked why I could not just get over it, or my favorite…’why don’t you just adopt?’ Those of us in the childless not by choice community love that question. I think that’s our favorite question.    

Could I really convince women around the world, and men, that they really could live joyful and relevant lives? Would they believe me? Do I believe me?

Some days I believe it, some days I ask myself who am I kidding? I have my moments, especially around Mother’s Day, where I feel like I am fooling myself. It is around that time that I feel like a fraud.

http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-64-i-feel-like-a-fraud/ 

But the alternative was scary.  Depression, sadness, fear, bitterness, envy…I could not and cannot imagine living the rest of my life with those feelings as my narrative. There had to be an alternative.  

There will be moments of sadness weaved into the tapestry of our journey, but deep down, even during those moments when I feel like a fraud when I don’t believe me; I know I made the right choice. The choice to be relevant and joyful. The choice to help others.  I decided that the negative alternatives were just not an option. 

And remember, choice does not just happen. It is a process. There will be good days and there will be bad days. But underlying the ups and downs is the choice, the decision.  

So here is my point: It turns out that my byline of living a joyful and relevant life is much the same as Caplan’s Theory of Crises. What is Caplan’s Theory of Crises? I’m glad you asked:  

  

‘Caplan (1964) initially defined a crisis as occurring when individuals are confronted with problems that cannot be solved. These irresolvable issues result in an increase in tension, signs of anxiety, a subsequent state of emotional unrest, and an inability to function for extended periods. James and Gilliland (2005) define crises as events or situations perceived as intolerably difficult that exceed an individual’s available resources and coping mechanisms. Similarly, Roberts (2000) defines a crisis as “a period of psychological disequilibrium, experienced as a result of a hazardous event or situation that constitutes a significant problem that cannot be remedied by using familiar coping strategies” (p. 7). The Chinese translation of the word “crisis” consists of two separate characters, which paradoxically mean danger and opportunity (Greene, Lee, Trask, & Rheinscheld, 2000). Crisis intervention thus provides opportunities for clients to learn new coping skills while identifying, mobilizing, and enhancing those they already possess. The following are characteristics of crisis events:

  • The event precipitating the crisis is perceived as threatening.
  • There is an apparent inability to modify or reduce the impact of stressful events.
  • There is increased fear, tension, and/or confusion.
  • There is a high level of subjective discomfort.
  • A state of disequilibrium is followed by rapid transition to an active state of crisis.

 

 

Crisis Intervention is an immediate and short-term psychological care aimed at assisting individuals in a crisis situation to restore equilibrium to their biopsychosocial functioning and to minimize the potential for long-term psychological trauma.             

 

The two things I really liked about the above information: are the last sentence, and how the Chinese created two paradoxical characters to equate to crisis. 

*** It is so important to quickly work on minimizing the potential for long-term psychological trauma. Many people are afraid to go see a psychologist or psychiatrist, but it is important to see one immediately after a traumatic experience or crisis. 

In life, there will be trauma. There will be crisis. But there is also hope.  Which leads to the other thing I liked: the meaning of the Chinese two-character definition of crisis: danger and opportunity.  Those two words: danger and opportunity, are not typically used in the same sentence. But isn’t it wonderful that the Chinese thought of the possibility of hope even during trauma, during crisis? Even in crisis, there is hope.

Hope is what I hung onto for ten years, until my final surgery. I could have lost all hope after that surgery, but I decided to create a new hope. It didn’t happen overnight. Sometimes choice is a process.

You may have had to take a left turn. Maybe that IVF treatment failed yet again, and you cannot afford any more treatments.  Maybe you had to finally have a hysterectomy. Totally not what you had planned.  And while trying the treatments, or trying to hang onto that uterus, you had hope. But now that those hopes have been taken away, you must manifest a new set of hopes.

Life is a journey. You know that as well as I do. There will be ups and downs, back tracks, winding roads, fear, sadness, happiness, guilt, strengthening events, clueless people making clueless comments, and seemingly mentally weakening events. But throughout the entire journey, we must hang onto hope.     

I’ve put the Kaplan’s Theory of Crisis graph in the show notes.  It is a pictorial graph of the progression of how we deal with crisis: before, during, and after.

 

If you look at the graph, you will see how many of us are going along, managing life, pre-crisis. But during the crisis which I call the ‘glass half full or half empty’ visual, the affected person’s coping mechanism drops precipitously, but then there are three levels of recovery.

In the green level, you can see that the person recovered to higher than where they were before the crisis. Another person recovered to just about where they were or just a little lower.

But a third person’s coping capacity was seriously diminished. They did not recover per se, they either just checked out of life, or it would not take much to send them over the edge. Their mental, emotional, may be even physical state, is fragile.

I believe the hope that you may have held onto at the outset of the crisis, or a new-found hope post crisis, is what helps a person to recover above and beyond that seriously diminished capacity to cope.

This is how important hope is. So, I am asking you to hang onto hope or find a new hope if life did not turn out the way you expected. If you do not have that baby you hoped for. If you never have that baby. If you must watch women around you have child after child after child. Knowing some of them consider their children mistakes. Watching some of them give up their little girls out of tradition. Exchanging their children for that next drug induced hit. Even killing their children. 

I know I have asked you to do this in previous episodes, but I am going to ask you again: whenever you hear about or see these heartbreaking stories, pray for the child. Help where you can, and find new hope. Recover to higher than where you were pre-crisis. Do not allow this crisis to take you to a place of hopelessness and diminished capacity to cope. Have hope!         

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. If you found value in this episode, or the podcast and platform in general, feel free to visit the donation jar on the website, stop by iTunes and leave me a rating and review, and of course tell a friend.   

Caplan's Theory of Crisis  

Citations:

https://uk.sagepub.com/sites/default/files/upm-binaries/14229_Chapter5.pdf

 

http://ptgmedia.pearsoncmg.com/images/9780132431774/downloads/jackson_ch1_overviewofcrisisintervention.pdf

 

Tags:

Suicide, childlessness, loss, barrenness, PCOS, miscarriage, infertility, fibroids,

 

My contact information:

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @joyandrelevance

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

 

Hashtags:

  #civillamorgan #21stcenturyhannah #childlessnotbychoice 

Remember to tell your friends about the show, and feel free to share to your social media followers! I would appreciate that!

 

Please take a moment to take this survey!

https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah

 

Until next time, bye!

episode 67—Podcastiversary Celebration Part Two

Hello, everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by Choice women, and men, around the world.  I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyfully relevant and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.

Please remember to tell your friends about the show, share episodes to your social media followers! I would appreciate that!

                                                        

Thank you’s:

  • Thank you for your FB re-shares and your Twitter comments and re-tweets. It is always appreciated.
  • Individual thank you’s if any:

 

  • iTunes review:

There are differing opinions in the podcasting community about a podcaster’s status in iTunes, but one thing I believe we all agree on is that the more reviews the better. Why? Because when visitors see quite a few reviews they become curious about the podcast. I believe though, that if someone is searching for a particular subject matter, they may give the podcast at least one listen no matter how many reviews they see, but I still believe the more reviews the better. So, your stopping by and giving me a review would be just wonderful, and giving the podcast a listen, even more so! Thank you!

 

  • Shout outs:

My cousin Amber who got me set up on the nitty gritty back end of podcast set up. She was so patient with my cluelessness!

My Podcast Producer, Kevin Scullion of Alba Digital Media.

My Childless not by Choice Group Admins: Kerri, Elaine, and Sarah.   

My listeners!

  • Facebook Groups:

I have a few groups and pages on Facebook. Two of the groups were set up specifically for the childless not by choice demographic and supporters of the platform. One group is for women only, Childless not by Choice, and the other group is called Childless not by Choice Supporters.  Both links have been posted below. You may also join directly via the website, http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, as well.

If you have problems finding the group, email me at civilla@civillamorgan.com for assistance. Turn-around time is right around 24 hours.

These groups are kept up to date with fresh content regularly, and conversation is welcomed!

Childless not by Choice:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/545985648898951/

Childless not by Choice Supporters:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/booksbycivillamorgan/

 

One on One sessions:

Well, I am close to being all set to welcome you to one on one sessions! I know these sessions are needed and I cannot wait for us to talk!

Please note: these one on one sessions will be conversational based on experiences, best practices; discussing such things as clear, kind, but firm boundaries.

These conversations will not be a replacement for speaking with a professional.

The sign up will be on the Shop tab on the website.

 

Webinars/classes:

I am creating some subject-based webinars and classes. The first subject I will be broaching is suicide, suicidal thoughts, etc. I know that there are millions of us around the world on this childlessness journey. And we are all in different places in our thoughts and feelings on our childlessness.

It does not help that society seems to think they have a say in our production or lack thereof. What many people do not seem to understand, is that childlessness is not just physical, it is also mental and emotional. Their unwanted two cents do not help. So, I am hoping this first webinar will help those of you struggling with thoughts of suicide.  Please note, this will be paid content.

 

Well, thank you for listening. I cannot believe it’s been two years! Podcasting is one of a handful of things in my life that I am so glad I did, and have no regrets.  Don’t you love when you can make two or three decisions like that in life? I am truly thankful that this medium has allowed me to reach you.     

As promised, here is the link to my episode with my Podcast Producer:

 http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-66-my-two-year-podcasting-anniversary-interview-with-my-podcast-producer/

 

  • Don’t forget to check out the articles of note below!

 

Articles of note:

Is there a connection between divorce and infertility? Check out the article below:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/318292.php

 

Male infertility?

http://www.nigeriatoday.ng/2017/06/male-infertility-major-factor-in-childlessness-says-expert/

 

 

 

 

My contact information:

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @joyandrelevance

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

  

Please take a moment to take this survey!

https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah

 

 

Until next time! Bye!

Episode 66–My Two-Year Podcasting Anniversary Interview with My Podcast Producer

Episode 66—Two-year anniversary episode, my conversation with my Podcast Producer/Web builder Kevin Scullion

 Hello everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless women, and men, around the world.  I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyfully relevant and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have children we so wanted. Thank you for allowing me to sit with you a while!

 

Intro, how we met—

 

  • How did you get into podcasting?
  • Tell us more about your podcast…
  • What made you want to start creating (websites) and editing (podcasts) for others?

4) Tell us how podcasts can be a wonderful resource…

 5)What creates longevity in a podcast?

6) How can people reach you if they need assistance with podcast production and or web building? And how do people access your podcast?
 

Shout out:

‘Wow! That was so brutally honest. Hats off to you for opening up yourself to others like that. That is why God is using you so powerfully.

Of course, I have no answers for your questions. I am not in the same boat as you, but in a similar situation of sometimes feeling, “How can I say so and so when I am not even there myself?”

You are needed. You are not a fraud. You are simply doing God’s will. Keep on doing what you do.’

Love,

Olive

(In response to the main article in my June Newsletter, Your Monthly Guide to Living the Childless Life)

 

Kevin’s contact information:

Use the link below to contact Kevin for your podcast production or web building needs

http://albadigitalmedia.com/  

 

Use the link below to listen to Kevin’s podcast episodes

http://www.bonnietours.com/episodes/

 

My contact information:

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @civilla1

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

 

Please help me out by taking this very short survey!

https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah

 

 

Until next time! Bye!

 

I Feel Like a Fraud

‘I feel like a fraud.’ That’s what I told my brother. And that’s what I told a very good friend of mine. It was a few days after Mother’s Day here in the US. I had been afraid to verbalize it to anyone because I wasn’t sure what reaction I would get.

How could I possibly be two years into building a platform created to help women who are childless not by choice feel better about themselves? Feel better about their lives? Many of you know, my byline: ‘Living a joyful and relevant life although childless not by choice.’

It all started a few days before Mother’s Day. It always does. I thought I had gotten over the feelings of loss enough to make it through Mother’s Day without feeling like a second-class citizen when the pastor asked all the mothers to stand, as I remained seated. It’s a feeling only childless not by choice women could understand. At least the ones who are not over the pain. Because I hear tell there are childless not by choice women who are ‘over it’.

My brother said, ‘maybe one day you will realize how many people you have helped.’ He just could not understand how I could feel this way after telling him how the platform was finally taking a hold and growing.

My good friend said ‘you are not a fraud. Your primary audience is the women who feel the way you do. How could you talk to them if you did not understand how they feel?’ Then she recounted the multiple organizations and platforms that were created out of someone’s grief. I understood what she was saying. I understood what they both were saying. But will there ever come a Mother’s Day when my heart will be OK with remaining seated while all around me mothers stand up and accept their due recognition? 

How could I possibly encourage childless not by choice people when my heart still breaks on Mother’s Day. It’s not too bad the other 364 days of the year. And I do not want to dim the light of recognition for mothers. After all, I have a mother. And every day I am thankful for her. But the fact is, the way God answered my prayers, my begging, my deal-making, was to not answer. Healing did not come. The adoption did not come. Honestly, I would have been more than OK with never marrying if I had had the child. But to hit a brick wall every turn I took was hard. 

How am I supposed to convince other women that we can live relevant and joyful lives when I still battle sadness and a broken heart? How could I not be a fraud? But  I am not. I am not because I battle those feelings and I help the childless not by choice anyway demographic anyway. When I battle and help, I am being transparent. And there is no such thing as a transparent fraud.

 

Episode 63–My interview with Fitness Coach/Bodybuilder Michael Echeverria

Episode 63—My Interview with Fitness Coach Michael Echeverria

Hello everyone!

Thank you for visiting another episode of Childless not by Choice! I appreciate your taking the time to listen in once again. Thank you to my repeat listeners. And if you are listening for the first time, I hope you will come back for another visit!

Remember to tell your friends about the show, and feel free to share with your friends and followers! I would appreciate that!

Thank you’s:

  • Thank you for your FB re-shares and your Twitter comments and re-tweets. It is always appreciated.

Today’s episode is an interview with Fitness Coach/Bodybuilder Michael Echeverria. You are in for some surprises on just how simple good nutrition and fitness really are. And you may find that the so-called Third-World countries may have better food options than we do in the Western world!

Don’t you just love Michael’s energy! It was a pleasure to speak with him. And I hope you learned as much as I did about fitness and about the right foods to put in our bodies. To learn more about Michael and his platform, Fitness by Design, see his contact information below. 

 

Michael’s contact info:

http://www.fitnessbyexample.com

(407) 529-4512

 

Here are some news stories of interest:

(I like to post stories I come across that pertain to the world of childless, not by choice):

http://micetimes.asia/to-make-money-not-kids/

 

http://www.breitbart.com/london/2017/05/09/election-macron-leaders-europes-top-four-economies-zero-children/

 

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/may/12/theresa-may-children-politics-women-gender

 

Please help me out by taking this very short survey!

https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah

 

 

Remember, I love hearing from you! Email me, DM me on Facebook or Twitter, or leave me a message on Speak Pipe on the website. All of the contact information is below!

 

My contact information:

email: civilla@civillamorgan.com

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @civilla1

Instagram: @joyandrelevance (content mostly on the subject of childless not by choice)

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

 

Until next time! Bye!

Episode 59–Endometriosis

Episode 59—Endometriosis

Hello everyone!

WELCOME BACK TO 21ST CENTURY HANNAH, WHERE MY MISSION IS TO RECOGNIZE AND SPEAK TO THE BROKEN HEARTS OF CHILDLESS NOT BY CHOICE WOMEN, AND MEN, AROUND THE WORLD.  I AM SPREADING THE GREAT NEWS THAT WE CAN LIVE A JOYFUL AND RELEVANT LIFE REGARDLESS OF THE FACT THAT WE COULD NOT HAVE CHILDREN.

Well, I appreciate your taking the time to listen in once again. Thank you to my repeat listeners. And if you are listening for the first time, I hope you will come back for another visit!

Remember to tell your friends about the show, and feel free to share with your social media followers! I would appreciate that!

Also, if you find value in the content of these podcast episodes, click on the donate button on the website! Donations go toward podcasting equipment and building out the platform to create online courses for women and men who are childless not by choice. I want to create courses that will take my demographic from hopelessness to healing.

Well, today’s episode is all about Endometriosis.

Endometriosis (en-doe-me-tree-O-sis) is an often painful disorder in which tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus — the endometrium — grows outside your uterus. Endometriosis most commonly involves your ovaries, fallopian tubes, and the tissue lining your pelvis. Rarely, endometrial tissue may spread beyond pelvic organs.

With endometriosis, displaced endometrial tissue continues to act as it normally would — it thickens, breaks down and bleeds with each menstrual cycle. Because this displaced tissue has no way to exit your body, it becomes trapped. When endometriosis involves the ovaries, cysts called endometriomas may form. Surrounding tissue can become irritated, eventually developing scar tissue and adhesions — abnormal bands of fibrous tissue that can cause pelvic tissues and organs to stick to each other.

Endometriosis can cause pain — sometimes severe — especially during your period. Fertility problems also may develop. Surprise: Fortunately, effective treatments are available.  I did not realize that effective treatments were available. I honestly thought there was no effective treatment for Endometriosis.    

Some things that surprised me:

  • The severity of your pain isn’t necessarily a reliable indicator of the extent of the condition. Some women with mild endometriosis have intense pain, while others with advanced endometriosis may have little pain or even no pain at all.
  • Endometriosis is sometimes mistaken for other conditions that can cause pelvic pain, such as pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) or ovarian cysts. It may be confused with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), a condition that causes bouts of diarrhea, constipation and abdominal cramping. IBS can accompany endometriosis, which can complicate the diagnosis.

It’s really important to get a second opinion especially if you’re just not feeling that the diagnosis is correct. I truly believe, and I have said it before, no one knows your body better than you do. If you are not convinced about a diagnosis, get a second opinion. 

  

Causes:

Although the exact cause of endometriosis is not certain, possible explanations include:

Retrograde menstruation. 

Transformation of peritoneal cells. 

Embryonic cell transformation. 

Surgical scar implantation. 

Endometrial cells transport. 

Immune system disorder. 

For additional details on each of these causes, see the Mayo Clinic article link in the show notes below.

As I continued my research, I went next to the Hopkins Medicine site, link in the show notes, and found the following risk factors that could cause an increased possibility for a woman to have endometriosis:

Risk Factors of Endometriosis

They say that…

While any woman may develop endometriosis, the following women seem to be at an increased risk for the disease:

  • Women who have a first-degree relative (mother, sister, daughter) with the disease
  • Women who are giving birth for the first time after age 30
  • White women
  • Women with an abnormal uterus

 

Now the following information was of particular interest to me, and I am sure to those who have been diagnosed with Endometriosis:

Relationship of Endometriosis to Infertility:

 

Endometriosis is considered one of the three major causes of female infertility. According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, endometriosis can be found in 24 to 50 percent of women who experience infertility.

In mild to moderate cases, the infertility may be temporary. In these cases, surgery to remove adhesions, cysts and scar tissue can restore fertility. In other cases — a very small percentage — women may remain infertile.

(Hmmmm, kinda sounds like when they told me after one of my first myomectomies, ‘OK, we removed the fibroids, now go out and get pregnant before they grow back.’ Um, OK.

Anyway…

How endometriosis affects fertility is not clearly understood. It is thought that scar tissue from endometriosis can impair the release of the egg from the ovary and subsequent pickup by the fallopian tube. Other mechanisms thought to affect fertility include changes in the pelvic environment that results in impaired implantation of the fertilized egg.

For additional information and ways to ease the pain, visit the link: Hopkins Medicine link below.

Another site you may find helpful is the ACOG, American Congress of Obstetrics and Gynecologists. It’s a site that seems to be regularly updated with educational material and workshops. Check it out!

So I love statistics because they tell a story in numbers. Yes, numbers can be skewed by human mistakes, i.e. mis-count, etc. But numbers, statistics, are the best we have at coming close to perfection.

So, according to additional research:

  • Endometriosis can first occur when girls first get their period.
  • Endometriosis affects176 million women worldwide, and 1 in 10 girls and women in the US.
  • Endometriosis usually causes symptoms during reproductive years (~12-60 years old), however many women and girls are undiagnosed.

The following additional statistics are from the CDC—centers for disease control website:

Because some women might have endometriosis, but do not have symptoms, it is difficult to know exactly how many women have the condition. Current estimates suggest that 6% to 10% of women of reproductive age have endometriosis,1,2 or approximately 5 million women in the United States.

In 2011, the NICHD-led Endometriosis: Natural History, Diagnosis, and Outcomes study found that 11% of a group of women with no symptoms of endometriosis actually had the disorder. If this finding applies to all the women in the United States, the number of American women with endometriosis may well exceed previous estimates of 5 million.

Endometriosis is most common in women in their 30s and 40s,3 but it can affect any female who menstruates.

 

 Information from the following links were used at least in part for my research: 

 

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/endometriosis/home/ovc-20236421

 

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/healthlibrary/conditions/gynecological_health/endometriosis_85,P00573/

 

http://www.acog.org/

 

https://www.cdc.gov/

 

https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/womensrh/healthconcerns.html

 

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/healthlibrary/conditions/gynecological_health/endometriosis_85,P00573/

 

Stories of interest from around the world:  

 

http://www.graphic.com.gh/news/general-news/don-t-ridicule-childless-women.html

 

http://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/what-not-to-say-to-couples-who-don-t-have-children-1.3018634

 

https://www.rte.ie/entertainment/2017/0325/862542-dawn-oporter/

 

 

My contact information:

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @joyandrelevance

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

 

Please take a moment to take this survey!

https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah

 

I was honored to be one of several female podcasters recognized by Podcast Movement during their Women’s History Month celebration! copy/paste the link below in your browser for details!     


http://podcastmovement.com/pm-celebrates-womens-history-month-she-podcasts/

 

“When someone tells you to just forget about it, ask them what they have forgotten.”—Civilla Morgan

 

Thanks for visiting! Until next time, bye! 

Shout out to my sponsors and supporters, and childless at Christmas–Final episode of 2016!

PODCAST—FINAL PODCAST OF THE YEAR—SHOUT OUTS TO MY SPONSORS AND SUPPORTERS, AND…CHILDLESS AT CHRISTMAS:

Hello everyone!

Thank you for visiting another episode of 21st Century Hannah! I appreciate your taking the time to listen in once again. Thank you to my repeat listeners. And if you are listening for the first time, I hope you will come back for another visit!

Remember to tell your friends about the show, and feel free to share to your social media followers! I would appreciate that!

 

CORRECTION:

I don’t know what I was thinking, but in this episode, I said several times that this was my first ever December episode.  But that was and is, incorrect. I had two episodes in December 2015. What was I thinking?

I don’t know, but whatever it was, it sure threw me for a loop. I still maintain however, that there is something different about this December.  Maybe it is as simple as the fact that I am meeting my stride. I feel much more comfortable now than I did a year ago, so please pardon my error! Thank you!   

 

Shout out to my sponsors and supporters:

  • Morgan Air-conditioning is a sponsor of my show and I am so thankful to them for understanding and being a part of the vision. You may wonder what air conditioning and childlessness have to do with each other. Listen in and find out!

 

  • Alba Digital Media produces my podcast and they created and maintain my website. In fact, they maintain the website I had when I met them, as well as the website they created for my platform. If you need a professional to create your website or videos, please contact them. They also offer maintenance contracts. Check them out!

 

  • Edinburgh Dusters is a cleaning company in Edinburgh, Scotland. But the owner also loves graphic design and assisted quite a bit with graphics in the initial creation of my website. I will always be thankful. If you are listening from the Edinburgh area and need assistance with large and small cleaning needs, contact Edinburgh Dusters.

 

  • Devoted created the theme music for my podcast. I had so many songs to choose from, but kept coming back to the song you hear on my podcast. If you have any music needs, please contact Devoted!

 

Childless at Christmas:

  • It’s Christmas and we do not have children of our own. That means if we are buying gifts, we are buying for OPK’s—other people’s kids. Nothing wrong with that of course. I give to local charitable organizations as well as to international organizations on a regular basis.

 

  • I believe we should help when and where we can, while maintaining healthy boundaries. There is nothing wrong with babysitting, giving, helping. But remember, we should never allow our lives and schedules to be dismissed because we are childless. We should have a life of our own, and not live the life of a friend or family member.

 

  • Remember, creating our own life, our own schedule, can be daunting. Some personalities do not want to be lonely. And they think that is what will happen if they set out to create their own life. But just about everything we do in life is at a risk. And life is short. I never want to sit down at 90 and wonder ‘what if?’

 

  • As we end 2016 and head into a new year, remember new years are more than new year’s resolutions. New years are a chance to continue in good habits, and to create new good habits. New spiritually, physically, and emotionally good habits. So, hang in there. Be strong. Seek assistance when you need to, and continue to be your beautiful you!

 

  • By the way, the candy cane wreath I mentioned in the episode, I found on Pinterest. I pinned it onto my ‘Christmas’ page if you want to check it out.

 

  • I also have a page called ‘Childlessness. 21st Century Hannah, my platform, my message’. I’ve pinned a lot of wonderful and encouraging posts on that page. I won’t tell you the number of total pins I have. It’s shameful!  But most of them were pinned while I was on the treadmill. 

Well…

BEST WISHES FOR A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS, AND A WONDERFUL 2017!!!      

Don’t forget to look below for my sponsors and supporters contact information, and below that, my contact information! 

Contact information for sponsors and supporters:

https://www.morganair.net/

https://albadigitalmedia.com/fully-responsive-web-design/

http://www.edinburghdusters.co.uk/

devotedministries@gmail.com

 

My contact information:

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and

http://www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @civilla1

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

 

Until next time! Bye! 

Candy Cane Christmas Wreath...these are the BEST Homemade Holiday Wreath Ideas!:

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