Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I would also like to thank everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.
Welcome to episode 109!
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Body of episode content:
On the introduction (page 2), you say… Can you talk to the childless not by choice woman who may be dwelling on the fact that she did not have children, she did not experience pregnancy or teen curfews, about how she can feel empowered in helping an absolute stranger go through college, or become a lifelong learner and teacher; how to accept her capacity to manage her life of ‘more freedom’ without feeling like she needs to answer to society about what she is doing with her time and money?
This may be a bit of a follow up to the previous question, but you say on… ‘our impact on the world is enormous but often understated.’ As I read that passage I thought about two Prime Ministers who are childless: Theresa May of The United Kingdom and Australia’s former Prime Minister Julia Gillard. Probably for different reasons, but the fact is they are childless. And whether one agrees with their politics or not, the fact is they are childless and leaving a footprint. But they have gotten so much flack for being childless. How do you think those of us who are not so high profile can deal with society’s backlash?
Your Introduction section can be a book unto itself!
(Pg. 3) ‘Who mentors a non-mom?’ I truly believe that is where and why Community is so important? As I read your book, I felt a sense of large scale community, it felt truly global, probably in part because the book reflects your travels as you interviewed and spoke with childless women–by choice or not. Could you describe community to us?
(Pg. 12–Ch.1)– These are the things society just generally does not think about. And if we allow society to not think of these things, we allow them to treat us like second class or unimportant citizens on life’s journey. How do we get them to see such intricacies without creating a sob story with every interaction we have?
(Pg. 38)–Now I was really surprised by that statistic. It has never crossed my mind to witness a birth, and honestly, I have no interest. I just think it would make me dwell even more on what I did not get. Seriously, none of these women felt a pang of jealousy, sadness, ‘why not me?’
In chapter five where you beautifully but in a bittersweet way describe the end of your marriage, you talk about how important it is for us to consider how we define family. How our boundaries are shaped. Because proper boundaries are important to our mental and emotional health, childless or not. But as childless not by choice women we get to choose don’t we?
(pg. 142) What I really loved about the book was how you incorporated the many facets of our humanity–childless, childfree, dreams and aspirations, what did and did not happen for us, our religious beliefs (thinking about Marianne’s story which intrigued me because I grew up in church), or not; planning for our elder years, all of these things remind us how three-dimensional we all are. As human beings, we all belong to multiple demographics and those who refuse to acknowledge that we are all more than our visible demographic tend to see us as one dimensional any way. But we are more than our childlessness aren’t we?
Any closing thoughts, anything you would really like to cover before we sign off?
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Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.