Creating awareness for the childless not by choice demographic on a global level includes bringing knowledge, understanding, and empathy. I naively thought if a woman is simply a woman, she would clearly understand the plight of the childless not by choice woman. Unfortunately, this is not always the case.
Yes, many women are empathetic to the pain, and that is wonderful. But many more are being brought to the realization that there is more to the story of a woman’s childlessness, than what is seen or assumed. To create an open and continual conversation and to educate, I have made the decision not to hear or respond from a place of offense or defense. Doing so might only end a conversation without real resolution.
At the risk of offending, my personal jury is still out on many of the women who say they chose or opted not to have children. They are childless BY choice. I recognize there are millions of women around the globe who truly came to the realization that bearing, raising, and pouring into a child was just not for them. I get that, and I respect that decision. Alas, I cannot help but feel there are many childless by choice women who made that decision out of fear of past experiences. And some may argue that is a valid factor. At any rate, a decision is a decision regardless of how it is arrived. And I believe every child that makes it through the birth canal should have a chance at dignity, love, and respect.
I did not realize the journey to bringing awareness would be so difficult; at times filled with nuances of understanding, misunderstanding, and new-found empathy. We are all truly on a journey to understanding, and I cannot wait to see how society is changed for the better.
My mission will not be easy, and it will not be simple. I must carefully wade through differing cultural norms. I must ask men to take part in the conversation. I must ask women who are childless not by choice to come out and talk. All while providing solutions, de-stigmatizing the issues surrounding childlessness, and educating. Globally.
I also feel that another part of my life’s mission is to bring two groups of people together: the childless not by choice, and the abandoned/disadvantaged child. I mean it only makes sense, right? Yes, I know, nuances. But that’s where my reliance on my naïveté comes in. I have built a healthy respect for naïveté over the past couple of years. And I now use two words in the same sentence I never thought any intelligent human would: naïveté and common sense. Why not? Stranger things have happened.
Join me, won’t you? Show up however you can. Join the conversation. Help me spread the word. Don’t be offended. Look at the big picture with me. One day, the topic of childless not by choice will be a part of regular every day conversation. There will be no more stigma and shame, just conversation and empathy.