depression

Is Childlessness a Crisis?

What does crisis mode mean to you? I believe it means something bad has happened or is about to happen to an individual or group of people.

I Googled the word Crisis, and this is what I found:

  • a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger.
  • “a crisis point of history”a time when a difficult or important decision must be made.
  • The turning point of a disease when an important change takes place, indicating either recovery or death.

That last point is intense.  ‘…indicating either recovery or death.’ Death is not always literal. Do you think a woman who finds out she will never have a child could go into crisis mode? Do you think she could die without dying, just checking out of the rest of her life?

I asked that question on Reddit, ‘could finding out you will not be able to have children send you into crisis mode?’ I got one response: ‘humbly, no.’

I respect that opinion. But I believe we are all guilty of the fact that we do not think deeply enough about most issues or most questions we are asked.  To be fair, I did not ask this on Reddit, but what if the woman’s marriage, livelihood, even her safety, depends on whether she had a child or not? Could it be a crisis then? 

Consider this: A landslide in a faraway land killing hundreds of people is sad. We feel bad for the survivors who lost loved ones and now must rebuild. But unless we were in the middle of that landslide, feeling bad about the situation is about all we can do. Jumping on a plane and going to help any way we could, might be a bit much and most likely unaffordable for most of us.  Besides, isn’t that what organizations like The Red Cross is for?

If we think about all the very sad and scary situations going on in the world right now, we could become overwhelmed, maybe even immobilized or depressed, right? Don’t we have enough to deal with in our own lives?

By now you are probably asking ‘what does she want me to do about any of the world’s situations, or about the woman who cannot have children? Good question, because really, what can you do. It is her problem. We can feel sorry for her, but that would be about all we could do. And besides, how is a woman in danger because she cannot have children, why would she be in danger just from being childless?

Most of us do not realize that in 2017, it could be dangerous for a woman to not be able to bear a child.  Living in the Western world, a childless woman can, for the most part, go through life unscathed by the shame, fear, and stigma of being childless.  She would most likely not be beaten by her husband, divorced, or shamed by her husband’s family.  

Sometimes we miss what is going on in the rest of the world because we are just too busy with our own lives. And to be fair, that is a worldwide phenomenon.  We think the rest of the world operates like our world, our country.  And honestly, most times we just cannot be concerned with an issue that does not resonate with us.  That may be viewed as selfish, but I do not think that is the case. Life is short, and we just cannot pick up the sword for every cause.

But may I suggest that though we cannot pay attention to every issue, every cause, that we can at least be aware. We can put ourselves in that person’s shoes even as we go about our day and about our lives.  We could at least empathize. I believe awareness and empathy make us more human.  And being more human makes us less mean, less hateful, and even less scornful.

Scorn. Not a word we hear very often. But it tends to happen when we look down on someone who does not could not have the thing or things we have, with contempt.  The thing about contempt is that life has a way of taking turns.  We could end up in the very situation for which we had contempt.

May I suggest that as we make our way through life, let us remember to be kind, empathetic, and aware.

Childless not by Choice? Conversations

Hello everyone! Thanks for stopping by! In this episode, I talk about the conversations I have had with various people about their journey through the world of childlessness. In particular I discuss, in general terms, a recent conversation I had.

I also thank my sponsors and supporters in this episode. This will be the first episode where their logos/links will appear at the footer of my website, http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net. I am so excited to be able to promote them on my website, and thankful that they trust and believe in my platform, my dream.

I also discuss the fact that it is important to seek assistance when we have been through trauma. And childlessness not by choice is trauma.  Trauma is anything bad that was unexpected and unwanted. Bottom line.  Speak to someone you trust, do not keep your thoughts and feelings bottled up. It will hurt you from the inside out.

Contact information:

Email: civilla@civillamorgan.com

Website: childlessnotbychoice.net

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @civilla1

Childless not by Choice , Radio Station Second show

This is my second broadcast for my radio show 21st Century Hannah! 21st Century Hannah is a radio show, a series of books, my platform.  In 21st Century Hannah, I speak to and encourage women like myself, who wanted but could not have children. Yes, I did try adoption, no, it did not work out. I believe the subject of childlessness not by choice is typically misunderstood and avoided in society. I believe God has prompted me to start the conversation. 

 

I wrote a 31-day devotional geared toward the woman childless not by choice. And I am working on a 365-day devotional of similar subject-matter, but more interactive. I am also working on a novel about my journey through and in the world of childlessness. If you have a similar story, or you know someone who does, this show is for you! 

Contact information:

civilla@civillamorgan.com

http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net

Twitter @civilla1

Instagram @civilla1

Facebook BooksbyCivillaMorgan

Pinterest Civilla Morgan

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Thanks for listening!