childlessness

Living with Endometriosis

Click the link below for details on living with Endometriosis.

10 Tips for living with Endometriosis

 

http://Be sure it is indeed Endometriosis. Get a second opinion as it has sometimes been diagnosed as IBS—irritable bowel syndrome, among other things.

I am posting the following links so that you can do additional research if you would like. These links can also be found in the show notes of Episode 59—Endometriosis:

 

Civilla M. Morgan

civilla@civillamorgan.com

www.childlessnotbychoice.net

Podcast: Childless not by Choice

Copyright 2017©

(Please do not share or make changes to this information.)

August/September 2017

Tips For Coping With Miscarriage

Click the link below for tips on coping with miscarriage.

10 Tips for Coping with Miscarriage

 

 

Visit these websites for further research: (these links and more information is also available in the show notes of Episode 60—Miscarriage) 

https://www.verywell.com/making-sense-of-miscarriage-statistics-2371721

https://search.cdc.gov/search?query=miscarriage&utf8=%E2%9C%93&affiliate=cdc-main

These podcast episodes may help as you navigate through miscarriage:  

http://childlessnotbychoice.net/mental-health-in-the-childless-not-by-choice-community-my-interview-with-psychologist-dr-shari-ann-james/

 http://childlessnotbychoice.net/menopause-infertility-childlessness-my-interview-with-dr-emine-cay-masters/

 

Civilla M. Morgan

civilla@civillamorgan.com

www.childlessnotbychoice.net

Podcast: Childless not by Choice

Copyright 2017©

(Please do not share or make changes to this information.)

August/September 2017

Facebook.com/childlessnotbychoice
Twitter=@civilla1
Instagram= @joyand relevance
Pinterest=Civilla M. Morgan

 

Tips for coping with Fibroids:

Click here for more information on how to cope with Fibroids! 

 

 

Civilla M. Morgan

civilla@civillamorgan.com

www.childlessnotbychoice.net

Podcast: Childless not by Choice

Copyright 2017©

(Please do not share or make changes to this information.)

August/September 2017

Facebook.com/childlessnotbychoice
Twitter=@civilla1
Instagram= @joyand relevance
Pinterest=Civilla M. Morgan

 

 

Is Childlessness a Crisis?

What does crisis mode mean to you? I believe it means something bad has happened or is about to happen to an individual or group of people.

I Googled the word Crisis, and this is what I found:

  • a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger.
  • “a crisis point of history”a time when a difficult or important decision must be made.
  • The turning point of a disease when an important change takes place, indicating either recovery or death.

That last point is intense.  ‘…indicating either recovery or death.’ Death is not always literal. Do you think a woman who finds out she will never have a child could go into crisis mode? Do you think she could die without dying, just checking out of the rest of her life?

I asked that question on Reddit, ‘could finding out you will not be able to have children send you into crisis mode?’ I got one response: ‘humbly, no.’

I respect that opinion. But I believe we are all guilty of the fact that we do not think deeply enough about most issues or most questions we are asked.  To be fair, I did not ask this on Reddit, but what if the woman’s marriage, livelihood, even her safety, depends on whether she had a child or not? Could it be a crisis then? 

Consider this: A landslide in a faraway land killing hundreds of people is sad. We feel bad for the survivors who lost loved ones and now must rebuild. But unless we were in the middle of that landslide, feeling bad about the situation is about all we can do. Jumping on a plane and going to help any way we could, might be a bit much and most likely unaffordable for most of us.  Besides, isn’t that what organizations like The Red Cross is for?

If we think about all the very sad and scary situations going on in the world right now, we could become overwhelmed, maybe even immobilized or depressed, right? Don’t we have enough to deal with in our own lives?

By now you are probably asking ‘what does she want me to do about any of the world’s situations, or about the woman who cannot have children? Good question, because really, what can you do. It is her problem. We can feel sorry for her, but that would be about all we could do. And besides, how is a woman in danger because she cannot have children, why would she be in danger just from being childless?

Most of us do not realize that in 2017, it could be dangerous for a woman to not be able to bear a child.  Living in the Western world, a childless woman can, for the most part, go through life unscathed by the shame, fear, and stigma of being childless.  She would most likely not be beaten by her husband, divorced, or shamed by her husband’s family.  

Sometimes we miss what is going on in the rest of the world because we are just too busy with our own lives. And to be fair, that is a worldwide phenomenon.  We think the rest of the world operates like our world, our country.  And honestly, most times we just cannot be concerned with an issue that does not resonate with us.  That may be viewed as selfish, but I do not think that is the case. Life is short, and we just cannot pick up the sword for every cause.

But may I suggest that though we cannot pay attention to every issue, every cause, that we can at least be aware. We can put ourselves in that person’s shoes even as we go about our day and about our lives.  We could at least empathize. I believe awareness and empathy make us more human.  And being more human makes us less mean, less hateful, and even less scornful.

Scorn. Not a word we hear very often. But it tends to happen when we look down on someone who does not could not have the thing or things we have, with contempt.  The thing about contempt is that life has a way of taking turns.  We could end up in the very situation for which we had contempt.

May I suggest that as we make our way through life, let us remember to be kind, empathetic, and aware.

I Feel Like a Fraud

‘I feel like a fraud.’ That’s what I told my brother. And that’s what I told a very good friend of mine. It was a few days after Mother’s Day here in the US. I had been afraid to verbalize it to anyone because I wasn’t sure what reaction I would get.

How could I possibly be two years into building a platform created to help women who are childless not by choice feel better about themselves? Feel better about their lives? Many of you know, my byline: ‘Living a joyful and relevant life although childless not by choice.’

It all started a few days before Mother’s Day. It always does. I thought I had gotten over the feelings of loss enough to make it through Mother’s Day without feeling like a second-class citizen when the pastor asked all the mothers to stand, as I remained seated. It’s a feeling only childless not by choice women could understand. At least the ones who are not over the pain. Because I hear tell there are childless not by choice women who are ‘over it’.

My brother said, ‘maybe one day you will realize how many people you have helped.’ He just could not understand how I could feel this way after telling him how the platform was finally taking a hold and growing.

My good friend said ‘you are not a fraud. Your primary audience is the women who feel the way you do. How could you talk to them if you did not understand how they feel?’ Then she recounted the multiple organizations and platforms that were created out of someone’s grief. I understood what she was saying. I understood what they both were saying. But will there ever come a Mother’s Day when my heart will be OK with remaining seated while all around me mothers stand up and accept their due recognition? 

How could I possibly encourage childless not by choice people when my heart still breaks on Mother’s Day. It’s not too bad the other 364 days of the year. And I do not want to dim the light of recognition for mothers. After all, I have a mother. And every day I am thankful for her. But the fact is, the way God answered my prayers, my begging, my deal-making, was to not answer. Healing did not come. The adoption did not come. Honestly, I would have been more than OK with never marrying if I had had the child. But to hit a brick wall every turn I took was hard. 

How am I supposed to convince other women that we can live relevant and joyful lives when I still battle sadness and a broken heart? How could I not be a fraud? But  I am not. I am not because I battle those feelings and I help the childless not by choice anyway demographic anyway. When I battle and help, I am being transparent. And there is no such thing as a transparent fraud.

 

Childless not by Choice? Fight The Urge!

It can sometimes be difficult to watch others so easily get what you have begged, prayed, even bargained with God for.  Negative thoughts and feelings can start to creep in, and start to overstay their welcome.  And before you know it, the wrong comment at the wrong time could create an unwanted firestorm!

Allowing negative thoughts and feelings such as jealousy, envy, bitterness, and even hate; can create an emptiness inside.  Life is too short to allow this negativity to live inside you.

 Good news! You have all the control within you to fight those thoughts and feelings. You must fight them! But please know it boils down to choice. To live your best, most relevant and joyful life, you have to choose to deal with and manage your emotions and feelings.

These feelings are real. Every emotion and feeling is real. There have been many moments in my life when I had to fight back the tears. But I did not get envious or jealous. I never wanted what the other person had, I just wanted what I thought I deserved.  What I did do was to question God a lot. ‘Why not me?’ ‘What did I do to deserve this childlessness?’ ‘What is so wrong with wanting a child?’ ‘Why was it so difficult for my prayers to be answered?’

I finally decided that entertaining negative emotions and feelings would not help in the long run. I realized that having children is something that is typically taken for granted. But I could not allow how easily children came to others, to affect my heart and my mind. I had to choose.   

Choose instead, to entertain good, positive, self-affirming thoughts instead of the negative ones.  Choose instead to manage your thoughts and feelings. Choose instead, to think about the good in your life although you did not get the children you wanted. Life did not work out the way you expected, but there is some amount of good happening for you. If there isn’t, create it! You have the power to do so!

Creating and living your best, most joyful life is your role. No one else can do that for you. Observing or envying the life of another woman is not healthy or good.  And you do not need to live a negative, subpar life. Fight the negativity. Choose life.

Menopause, Infertility, Childlessness, My Interview with Dr. Emine Cay Masters

Hello everyone! Thank you so much for stopping by! In this episode I have the great opportunity to interview Board Certified OB-Gyn Doctor Emine Cay Masters. Dr. Masters is Georgetown educated and brings her extensive knowledge and experience to this interview. But this interview is just the tip of the iceberg. To get the full gamut of her knowledge, I strongly suggest buying her book, Mastering Menopause. Her book is available on Amazon in hard copy and on Kindle. So no matter where in the world you are, you may order the hard copy or download the book electronically. I truly believe this book is a must have, a desk reference.

As you listen to this episode, you will hear how we naturally progress from one subject-matter to the next, answering questions that run the full gamut from menopause, to childlessness, to women’s social issues worldwide.  See below for information on how to contact Dr. Masters. And below her information, I will post my contact information!

I know you will find value in this interview, and I hope you will share it with others.

Thank you!

Dr. Masters’ contact information:      

http://www.masteringmenopause.com

Book: Mastering Menopause, by Dr. Emine Cay Masters (can be found on http://www.amazon.com in hard copy or Kindle format.)

My contact information:

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @civilla1

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

Blab: @civilla1

 

Childless not by Choice? Conversations

Hello everyone! Thanks for stopping by! In this episode, I talk about the conversations I have had with various people about their journey through the world of childlessness. In particular I discuss, in general terms, a recent conversation I had.

I also thank my sponsors and supporters in this episode. This will be the first episode where their logos/links will appear at the footer of my website, http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net. I am so excited to be able to promote them on my website, and thankful that they trust and believe in my platform, my dream.

I also discuss the fact that it is important to seek assistance when we have been through trauma. And childlessness not by choice is trauma.  Trauma is anything bad that was unexpected and unwanted. Bottom line.  Speak to someone you trust, do not keep your thoughts and feelings bottled up. It will hurt you from the inside out.

Contact information:

Email: civilla@civillamorgan.com

Website: childlessnotbychoice.net

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @civilla1

Childless not by Choice? Go Straight to the Source

Hello listeners! Thank you for tuning in once again! It is truly appreciated! 

Today’s episode is right around 25 minutes, and I believe it will be a word of encouragement for everyone who listens.  It is all about choice. You all know I talk about choice quite a bit.  As women childless not by choice, we have to choose to have a good day no matter what we may run into. Decide, choose.

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK. EVERYTHING IS OK. ALL IS WELL! ALL IS WELL!

I really like this episode. I mean, I like all of my episodes. They were all created for someone, to help someone. But honestly, I believe I am growing, and that’s what we should be doing right? I’m growing, my episodes are growing, and I am glad!

What is your source of comfort? Who is your source of comfort? Go to the source. 

About you! What would you like to hear in my podcast episodes? What subject matters should we discuss? Would you be interested in being interviewed? Let me know. You can now leave a voicemail on my website, and of course feel free to drop me an email.

Thanks again for listening, and look below for my contact info! See you soon!

HERE IS MY CONTACT INFO:

Update for my Childless Not by Choice Podcast Listeners

Hello everyone, I hope your year has gone well! Can you believe it is almost over?! Well, this podcast episode is my way of following up with you on a personal level. It is a re-cap of 2015, and expectations for 2016, and to thank you for your support! I hope you will continue to listen and share the 21st Century Hannah content in 2016!

In this episode, I also discuss how to interact with mothers, how to deal with people who say silly things about childless women, and how to maintain your identity as a woman who is childless and or husband-less. Many times when people recognize we are single and childless, especially as we get older; they think we have no life and that we do not really have a schedule that can be imposed upon. That is not the case! In this episode I remind you that you are a family unit in and of yourself. You are NOT a second class citizen. Create a schedule and make sure people respect you and your schedule!

I would like to take this time to thank Edmund Bullock (he’s my brother-in-law) for the music you hear at the beginning and ending of my episodes. Edmund is a talented musician who comes from a very long line of talented musicians. If you would like to contact him, do so at  devotedministry@gmail.com.

Remember, you may always contact me at:

booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com

Facebook at booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter @civilla1

Instagram @civilla1

Pinterest Civillam

I look forward to even more interaction in 2016!

Men and childlessness not by choice, my interview with Donald Brant

It was truly a great opportunity to obtain this interview with Donald Brant. This is our first ever interview where childlessness not by choice is discussed from and with a man’s point of view. 

In listening to this interview you will find that although men may typically not show their emotions, they of course have the same feelings we women do. We all know there are men and women who opted not to have children. But just as there are women who wanted but could not have children, there are men who wanted but did not have children.

I believe you will find as I did, that this interview was educational on many different levels. It was quite interesting to learn about life in a different country, as well.  

This interview was originally done in video form. So some of the conversation will sound like we are seeing each other, and that is because we are. I hope you will enjoy this interview.

And feel free to let me know what you think. I have posted Donald’s information below.  Below his contact information, is my information.

Thanks again for listening.  It is appreciated!

 

Donald Brant’s information:

blab.cafe is his blab show. For those not familiar with blab, it is a video platform for interviews and conversations, produced by Twitter, which means you can sign in with your Twitter credentials. Donald Brant also has a YouTube Channel.

 

My information:

http://www.civillamorgan.com

booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com

http://www.facebook.com/booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter @civilla1

Instagram @civilla1 

Interview, Living at my Best with Donna Woolam

Hello Everyone!

It is always such a pleasure to bring you fresh content. In this episode I had the honor to be interviewed by fellow Podcaster 

Donna K. Woolam.  Mrs. Woolam is also an Author, Speaker, and Empowered Life Trainer.  It was truly an honor.

It seems that each of my interviews is quite different than the previous one. Sometimes as I am critiquing myself I see where improvement is needed, or where I left a piece of information out. But we all critique ourselves don’t we?

What I really love about this entire interview is how Donna’s questions prompt me to encourage women who are going through the same or similar circumstances. I feel like I was able to, through my experiences, help other women in similar situations, realize that it boils down to choice.  “Some days you have to hang on with your fingernails.”

I didn’t realize it until she mentioned it, that in praying for other people’s children, in pouring into my nephews when they were children, that I chose to do it. Some things you do not realize until someone else notices.

By the way, I believe what triggered me to pray again, even if not right away, was after I went to see a psychologist about the constant crying.  

Well, I really hope you will enjoy this interview, and I hope you will share it with others.

It is truly an honor to know that you are listening to my show.

Here is my contact information: 

http://www.civillamorgan.com

booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com

You may also find me on:

Facebook.com/booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter, @civilla1

Instagram, @civilla1

LinkedIn

Periscope, Civilla M. Morgan

Pinterest

Thank you!

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