Episode 68–Is Childlessness a Crisis? Caplan’s Theory of Crisis

Hello, everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.

                                                        

Thank you’s:

  • Thank you for your FB re-shares and your Twitter comments and re-tweets. It is always appreciated.

 

  • Individual thank you’s if any:

Thank you, Lily, for your email thanking me for the newsletter and for the podcast. That means a lot to me as I continue to create content for us.

 

Remember, you may register for the newsletter or listen to any podcast episode by simply visiting http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net. I have created and am creating content for you on a regular basis, and it’s all on the website.

Well, today I am going to discuss a subject of which I knew nothing, but for which I use regularly as my platform’s byline.  It’s a funny thing about not knowing what we don’t know, isn’t it? 

All through the platform, in all my intros, I say that ‘you can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life.’ Never realizing that thought process could possibly have its roots in a sociological or psychological process for coping.

As many of you know, I wanted children more than anything on this planet. I managed pain and embarrassment for a decade attempting to buy time to possibly have a child. Ultimately, it did not happen. I wanted to have a child or children with someone who would help me raise them. I really could not imagine raising a child by myself, although at one point in my 10-year journey I did consider IVF as I started to run out of time, and after two failed attempts at adoption. 

I finally scheduled the surgery that would end my physical pain, embarrassing monthly accidents, and any hope I had left, of ever having a child.   

I fought and struggled my way through sadness, bitterness, shame, fear, feeling like a second-class citizen, battling all the negative thoughts that tried to take up residence in my mind.

I made the decision, the choice; to journey to a place of acceptance and realization that I would not have the children and the lifestyle I had expected. I had to decide: what kind of life would I have? Would I allow myself to live as a self-imposed second-class, shamed, and embarrassed about my situation citizen? Or would I make the decision to speak out about my situation knowing there were millions of women experiencing a similar journey?  Women who were and are hiding in plain sight?

Would I be willing to face down the critics who asked why I could not just get over it, or my favorite…’why don’t you just adopt?’ Those of us in the childless not by choice community love that question. I think that’s our favorite question.    

Could I really convince women around the world, and men, that they really could live joyful and relevant lives? Would they believe me? Do I believe me?

Some days I believe it, some days I ask myself who am I kidding? I have my moments, especially around Mother’s Day, where I feel like I am fooling myself. It is around that time that I feel like a fraud.

http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-64-i-feel-like-a-fraud/ 

But the alternative was scary.  Depression, sadness, fear, bitterness, envy…I could not and cannot imagine living the rest of my life with those feelings as my narrative. There had to be an alternative.  

There will be moments of sadness weaved into the tapestry of our journey, but deep down, even during those moments when I feel like a fraud when I don’t believe me; I know I made the right choice. The choice to be relevant and joyful. The choice to help others.  I decided that the negative alternatives were just not an option. 

And remember, choice does not just happen. It is a process. There will be good days and there will be bad days. But underlying the ups and downs is the choice, the decision.  

So here is my point: It turns out that my byline of living a joyful and relevant life is much the same as Caplan’s Theory of Crises. What is Caplan’s Theory of Crises? I’m glad you asked:  

  

Caplan (1964) initially defined a crisis as occurring when individuals are confronted with problems that cannot be solved. These irresolvable issues result in an increase in tension, signs of anxiety, a subsequent state of emotional unrest, and an inability to function for extended periods. James and Gilliland (2005) define crises as events or situations perceived as intolerably difficult that exceed an individual’s available resources and coping mechanisms. Similarly, Roberts (2000) defines a crisis as “a period of psychological disequilibrium, experienced as a result of a hazardous event or situation that constitutes a significant problem that cannot be remedied by using familiar coping strategies” (p. 7). The Chinese translation of the word “crisis” consists of two separate characters, which paradoxically mean danger and opportunity (Greene, Lee, Trask, & Rheinscheld, 2000). Crisis intervention thus provides opportunities for clients to learn new coping skills while identifying, mobilizing, and enhancing those they already possess. The following are characteristics of crisis events:

  • The event precipitating the crisis is perceived as threatening.
  • There is an apparent inability to modify or reduce the impact of stressful events.
  • There is increased fear, tension, and/or confusion.
  • There is a high level of subjective discomfort.
  • A state of disequilibrium is followed by rapid transition to an active state of crisis.

 

 

Crisis Intervention is an immediate and short-term psychological care aimed at assisting individuals in a crisis situation to restore equilibrium to their biopsychosocial functioning and to minimize the potential for long-term psychological trauma.             

 

The two things I really liked about the above information: are the last sentence, and how the Chinese created two paradoxical characters to equate to crisis. 

*** It is so important to quickly work on minimizing the potential for long-term psychological trauma. Many people are afraid to go see a psychologist or psychiatrist, but it is important to see one immediately after a traumatic experience or crisis. 

In life, there will be trauma. There will be crisis. But there is also hope.  Which leads to the other thing I liked: the meaning of the Chinese two-character definition of crisis: danger and opportunity.  Those two words: danger and opportunity, are not typically used in the same sentence. But isn’t it wonderful that the Chinese thought of the possibility of hope even during trauma, during crisis? Even in crisis, there is hope.

Hope is what I hung onto for ten years, until my final surgery. I could have lost all hope after that surgery, but I decided to create a new hope. It didn’t happen overnight. Sometimes choice is a process.

You may have had to take a left turn. Maybe that IVF treatment failed yet again, and you cannot afford any more treatments.  Maybe you had to finally have a hysterectomy. Totally not what you had planned.  And while trying the treatments, or trying to hang onto that uterus, you had hope. But now that those hopes have been taken away, you must manifest a new set of hopes.

Life is a journey. You know that as well as I do. There will be ups and downs, back tracks, winding roads, fear, sadness, happiness, guilt, strengthening events, clueless people making clueless comments, and seemingly mentally weakening events. But throughout the entire journey, we must hang onto hope.     

I’ve put the Kaplan’s Theory of Crisis graph in the show notes.  It is a pictorial graph of the progression of how we deal with crisis: before, during, and after.

 

If you look at the graph, you will see how many of us are going along, managing life, pre-crisis. But during the crisis which I call the ‘glass half full or half empty’ visual, the affected person’s coping mechanism drops precipitously, but then there are three levels of recovery.

In the green level, you can see that the person recovered to higher than where they were before the crisis. Another person recovered to just about where they were or just a little lower.

But a third person’s coping capacity was seriously diminished. They did not recover per se, they either just checked out of life, or it would not take much to send them over the edge. Their mental, emotional, may be even physical state, is fragile.

I believe the hope that you may have held onto at the outset of the crisis, or a new-found hope post crisis, is what helps a person to recover above and beyond that seriously diminished capacity to cope.

This is how important hope is. So, I am asking you to hang onto hope or find a new hope if life did not turn out the way you expected. If you do not have that baby you hoped for. If you never have that baby. If you must watch women around you have child after child after child. Knowing some of them consider their children mistakes. Watching some of them give up their little girls out of tradition. Exchanging their children for that next drug induced hit. Even killing their children. 

I know I have asked you to do this in previous episodes, but I am going to ask you again: whenever you hear about or see these heartbreaking stories, pray for the child. Help where you can, and find new hope. Recover to higher than where you were pre-crisis. Do not allow this crisis to take you to a place of hopelessness and diminished capacity to cope. Have hope!         

 

Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. If you found value in this episode, or the podcast and platform in general, feel free to visit the donation jar on the website, stop by iTunes and leave me a rating and review, and of course tell a friend.   

  

Citations:

https://uk.sagepub.com/sites/default/files/upm-binaries/14229_Chapter5.pdf

 

http://ptgmedia.pearsoncmg.com/images/9780132431774/downloads/jackson_ch1_overviewofcrisisintervention.pdf

 

Tags:

Suicide, childlessness, loss, barrenness, PCOS, miscarriage, infertility, fibroids,

 

My contact information:

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @joyandrelevance

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

 

Hashtags:

  #civillamorgan #21stcenturyhannah #childlessnotbychoice 

Remember to tell your friends about the show, and feel free to share to your social media followers! I would appreciate that!

 

Please take a moment to take this survey!

https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah

 

Until next time, bye!

episode 67—Podcastiversary Celebration Part Two

Hello, everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by Choice women, and men, around the world.  I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyfully relevant and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.

Please remember to tell your friends about the show, share episodes to your social media followers! I would appreciate that!

                                                        

Thank you’s:

  • Thank you for your FB re-shares and your Twitter comments and re-tweets. It is always appreciated.
  • Individual thank you’s if any:

 

  • iTunes review:

There are differing opinions in the podcasting community about a podcaster’s status in iTunes, but one thing I believe we all agree on is that the more reviews the better. Why? Because when visitors see quite a few reviews they become curious about the podcast. I believe though, that if someone is searching for a particular subject matter, they may give the podcast at least one listen no matter how many reviews they see, but I still believe the more reviews the better. So, your stopping by and giving me a review would be just wonderful, and giving the podcast a listen, even more so! Thank you!

 

  • Shout outs:

My cousin Amber who got me set up on the nitty gritty back end of podcast set up. She was so patient with my cluelessness!

My Podcast Producer, Kevin Scullion of Alba Digital Media.

My Childless not by Choice Group Admins: Kerri, Elaine, and Sarah.   

My listeners!

  • Facebook Groups:

I have a few groups and pages on Facebook. Two of the groups were set up specifically for the childless not by choice demographic and supporters of the platform. One group is for women only, Childless not by Choice, and the other group is called Childless not by Choice Supporters.  Both links have been posted below. You may also join directly via the website, http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net, as well.

If you have problems finding the group, email me at civilla@civillamorgan.com for assistance. Turn-around time is right around 24 hours.

These groups are kept up to date with fresh content regularly, and conversation is welcomed!

Childless not by Choice:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/545985648898951/

Childless not by Choice Supporters:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/booksbycivillamorgan/

 

One on One sessions:

Well, I am close to being all set to welcome you to one on one sessions! I know these sessions are needed and I cannot wait for us to talk!

Please note: these one on one sessions will be conversational based on experiences, best practices; discussing such things as clear, kind, but firm boundaries.

These conversations will not be a replacement for speaking with a professional.

The sign up will be on the Shop tab on the website.

 

Webinars/classes:

I am creating some subject-based webinars and classes. The first subject I will be broaching is suicide, suicidal thoughts, etc. I know that there are millions of us around the world on this childlessness journey. And we are all in different places in our thoughts and feelings on our childlessness.

It does not help that society seems to think they have a say in our production or lack thereof. What many people do not seem to understand, is that childlessness is not just physical, it is also mental and emotional. Their unwanted two cents do not help. So, I am hoping this first webinar will help those of you struggling with thoughts of suicide.  Please note, this will be paid content.

 

Well, thank you for listening. I cannot believe it’s been two years! Podcasting is one of a handful of things in my life that I am so glad I did, and have no regrets.  Don’t you love when you can make two or three decisions like that in life? I am truly thankful that this medium has allowed me to reach you.     

As promised, here is the link to my episode with my Podcast Producer:

 http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-66-my-two-year-podcasting-anniversary-interview-with-my-podcast-producer/

 

  • Don’t forget to check out the articles of note below!

 

Articles of note:

Is there a connection between divorce and infertility? Check out the article below:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/318292.php

 

Male infertility?

http://www.nigeriatoday.ng/2017/06/male-infertility-major-factor-in-childlessness-says-expert/

 

 

 

 

My contact information:

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @joyandrelevance

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

  

Please take a moment to take this survey!

https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah

 

 

Until next time! Bye!

Episode 66–My Two-Year Podcasting Anniversary Interview with My Podcast Producer

Episode 66—Two-year anniversary episode, my conversation with my Podcast Producer/Web builder Kevin Scullion

 Hello everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless women, and men, around the world.  I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyfully relevant and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have children we so wanted. Thank you for allowing me to sit with you a while!

 

Intro, how we met—

 

  • How did you get into podcasting?
  • Tell us more about your podcast…
  • What made you want to start creating (websites) and editing (podcasts) for others?

4) Tell us how podcasts can be a wonderful resource…

 5)What creates longevity in a podcast?

6) How can people reach you if they need assistance with podcast production and or web building? And how do people access your podcast?
 

Shout out:

‘Wow! That was so brutally honest. Hats off to you for opening up yourself to others like that. That is why God is using you so powerfully.

Of course, I have no answers for your questions. I am not in the same boat as you, but in a similar situation of sometimes feeling, “How can I say so and so when I am not even there myself?”

You are needed. You are not a fraud. You are simply doing God’s will. Keep on doing what you do.’

Love,

Olive

(In response to the main article in my June Newsletter, Your Monthly Guide to Living the Childless Life)

 

Kevin’s contact information:

Use the link below to contact Kevin for your podcast production or web building needs

http://albadigitalmedia.com/  

 

Use the link below to listen to Kevin’s podcast episodes

http://www.bonnietours.com/episodes/

 

My contact information:

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @civilla1

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

 

Please help me out by taking this very short survey!

https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah

 

 

Until next time! Bye!

 

Episode 65–My Interview with Mrs. Maureen Hornstein

Episode 65—My interview with Mrs. Maureen Hornstein

Hello everyone!

Thank you for listening to another episode of Childless not by Choice! I appreciate your taking the time to listen in once again. Thank you to my repeat listeners. And if you are listening for the first time, I hope you will come back for another visit!

Remember to tell your friends about the show, and feel free to share to your social media followers! I would appreciate that!

 

Mrs. Maureen Hornstein is originally from a small town in Minnesota, USA. At University, she studied Speech-Theater, Music, and Education. Upon graduation, she joined the staff of a faith-based organization, Campus Crusade for Christ International now known as Cru.

 

Maureen and her husband, Hank, have spent most of their careers living in three countries outside of the United States. Currently, Maureen is the Women’s Asia Strategy Coordinator for the Jesus Film Project. On that project, she works with various media tools that help women realize that no matter what their family or country may think of them; God their Creator, made them valuable.

 

 

  • Was it a conscious decision to work and live outside the United States?

 

  • In your bio, you say that you help women realize that no matter what women’s families and cultures may tell them, their Creator values them. How exactly do you convey this truth to women? Is this through your Jesus Film Project, or in your daily life’s journey?  

 

  •  When did you and your husband realize you would not be having children?

 

  • Do you both come from large or small families?

 

 

  • Was there any pushback from either of your families when they realized you weren’t having children?

 

  • Did you and your husband have to journey to a place of acceptance?

 

 

  • What suggestions would you have for women struggling with childlessness?

 

To contact Mrs. Maureen Hornstein:

Magdalena Today on Facebook

http://www.magdalenatoday.com

Jesus film media app

 

 

“Empathy is finding echoes of another person in yourself.”–Mohsin Hamid.

 

 

Stories of note:

http://www.the-star.co.ke/news/2017/05/17/we-are-not-barren-or-infertile-we-are-just-but-waiting-wombs-childless_c1557714

https://www.rt.com/op-edge/389574-macron-may-merkel-europes-childless/

 

My contact information:

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @joyandrelevance 

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

 

 

Please help me out by taking this very short survey!

https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah

Until next time! Bye!

Episode 64–I Feel Like a Fraud

Episode 64— I Feel Like a Fraud

Hello everyone!

Thank you for visiting another episode of 21st Century Hannah! I appreciate your taking the time to listen in once again. Thank you to my repeat listeners. And if you are listening for the first time, I hope you will come back for another visit!

Remember to tell your friends about the show, and feel free to share to your social media followers! I would appreciate that!

                                                       

Thank you’s:

  • Thank you for your FB re-shares and your Twitter comments and re-tweets. It is always appreciated.

Individual thank you’s:

Shout outs: Carla from CO. Thank you for your wonderful email, and for sharing your blog with me. In reading her email and blog, I recognized that we have had very similar experiences as childless not by choice women. Thank you, Carla, for reach out!

 

I feel like a fraud…

That’s what I told my brother. And that’s what I told a very good friend of mine. It was a few days after Mother’s Day here in the US. I had been afraid to verbalize it to anyone because I wasn’t sure what reaction I would get.

How could I possibly be two years into building a platform created to help women who are childless not by choice feel better about themselves. Feel better about their lives. Many of you know, my byline: ‘Living a joyful and relevant life although childless not by choice.’

It all started a few days before Mother’s Day. It always does.

 

Stories of note:

http://www.the-star.co.ke/news/2017/05/17/we-are-not-barren-or-infertile-we-are-just-but-waiting-wombs-childless_c1557714

 

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/may/12/theresa-may-children-politics-women-gender

 

http://micetimes.asia/to-make-money-not-kids/

 

My contact information:

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: Civilla Morgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @civilla1

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

 

Please help me out by taking this very short survey!

https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah

 

p.s. There is a lot of conversation going on in the Facebook Group Childless not by Choice. If you are childless not by choice and would like to join the conversation in a judgment-free zone, stop by and become a group member!  

Until next time! Bye!

 

Episode 63–My interview with Fitness Coach/Bodybuilder Michael Echeverria

Episode 63—My Interview with Fitness Coach Michael Echeverria

Hello everyone!

Thank you for visiting another episode of Childless not by Choice! I appreciate your taking the time to listen in once again. Thank you to my repeat listeners. And if you are listening for the first time, I hope you will come back for another visit!

Remember to tell your friends about the show, and feel free to share with your friends and followers! I would appreciate that!

Thank you’s:

  • Thank you for your FB re-shares and your Twitter comments and re-tweets. It is always appreciated.

Today’s episode is an interview with Fitness Coach/Bodybuilder Michael Echeverria. You are in for some surprises on just how simple good nutrition and fitness really are. And you may find that the so-called Third-World countries may have better food options than we do in the Western world!

Don’t you just love Michael’s energy! It was a pleasure to speak with him. And I hope you learned as much as I did about fitness and about the right foods to put in our bodies. To learn more about Michael and his platform, Fitness by Design, see his contact information below. 

 

Michael’s contact info:

http://www.fitnessbyexample.com

(407) 529-4512

 

Here are some news stories of interest:

(I like to post stories I come across that pertain to the world of childless, not by choice):

http://micetimes.asia/to-make-money-not-kids/

 

http://www.breitbart.com/london/2017/05/09/election-macron-leaders-europes-top-four-economies-zero-children/

 

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/may/12/theresa-may-children-politics-women-gender

 

Please help me out by taking this very short survey!

https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah

 

 

Remember, I love hearing from you! Email me, DM me on Facebook or Twitter, or leave me a message on Speak Pipe on the website. All of the contact information is below!

 

My contact information:

email: civilla@civillamorgan.com

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @civilla1

Instagram: @joyandrelevance (content mostly on the subject of childless not by choice)

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

 

Until next time! Bye!

Episode 62–Fibroids

1x
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39:21

Hello! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life although we could not have children.  Thank you for allowing me to sit with you a while!

 

Well, you heard correctly in the intro. I have made the decision after more than a year of ‘discussions’ with my podcast producer, to change the name of the podcast. The platform will still be called 21st Century Hannah, but for easier searchability, the podcast name has been changed. So welcome once again, to Childless not by Choice!

 

Thank you’s:

  • Thank you for your FB re-shares and your Twitter comments and re-tweets. It is always appreciated.
  • Individual thank you’s if any:

“Thoughtful and informative. Civilla delivers valuable insights and resources for anybody affected by or interested in childlessness.”–Fotograffs, United Kingdom  (April 2017)

  •  Shout outs:

 

I want to let you know up front, that parts of this episode may be graphic. If there are children around, you may end up answering a lot of questions!

I wondered why this episode might be more graphic than the other three in this series, and maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s just that it is being done through my lens of experience.

For some of you, PCOS was your story. For some, Endometriosis was your story. And for others, Miscarriage was your story. Well, Fibroids are my story.   

Let’s get started:

According to webmd.com,

A lot of women have uterine fibroids at some point in their life. You may have even had them and never known it. That’s because they often don’t cause any pain or symptoms.

Uterine fibroids, which your doctor may call leiomyomas or myomas, are muscular tumors that can grow on your uterus. They rarely turn into cancer, and if you get them it doesn’t mean you’re more likely to get uterine cancer.

Fibroids can vary a lot in size, shape, and location. They can show up in your uterus, uterine wall, or on its surface. They can also attach to your uterus by a stalk- or stem-like structure.

Some are so small that your doctor can’t even see them with the naked eye. Others grow in big masses that can affect the size and shape of the uterus.

Uterine fibroids usually appear in women of childbearing age — generally between 30 and 40 years old, but they can show up at any age. They’re also more common in African-American women than in white women and tend to show up earlier and grow quicker in African-Americans, as well. Doctors don’t know why that is.

 

According to Health Remedies Journal website,

Fibroids: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatments. Fibroids are non-cancerous (benign)tumors that grow from the muscle layers of the uterus (womb). They are also known as uterine fibroidsleiomyomas, or myomas. Fibroids are growths of smooth muscle and can vary from the size of a bean to as large as a melon. Aug 3, 2016

fibroids are lumps that can grow on the inside, outside or the wall of the uterus, 

Some symptoms include:

Excessive menstrual bleeding

Longer than usual menstruation–Overtime abnormally excessive bleeding may also lead to other potentially serious side effects.  (For me it was low iron, at times dangerously low. I spent many years taking the highest dose of non-prescription ferrous sulfate, and even had iv iron on one or two occasions. It was so many years my body had gotten used to living with very low iron.)

Fullness in lower abdomen

( my note: I don’t remember feeling full, but I did feel pressure on my bladder. It was very scary feeling the pressure of needing to go to the bathroom but not being able to go. The scariest moment of that happening for me was just before surgery number two.)

Pelvic or lower back pain

‘As fibroids grow in size, they can apply extra pressure on the neighboring organs and cause unwarranted pain in the pelvic area. The pain may also radiate to the lower back and some women may also feel the pain extending into their legs.’

 

(I had the back pain and always sat with a support pillow behind my lower back. I was so fortunate to have a vehicle with lumbar support for many years. It’s amazing the small things that we can tend to take for granted until we don’t, right?)

 

Frequent urination

 

Loss of bladder control

 

 

Constipation

The constant pressure in the pelvic region can also lead to constipation, bloating and even diarrhea for some. For instance, when the fibroid growth is located towards the back, pressure applied to the rectum can cause constipation.

(My note: At first, I was like constipation? Really? But the explanation makes sense. That earlier explanation re: affected organs right?

 

Reproductive problems–Fibroids that develop in the cavity of the uterus may cause infertility by preventing implantation. Fibroids may also block the fallopian tubes causing problems in conceiving. In these cases, blockage of the fallopian tube caused by fibroids does not permit the embryo to enter into the cavity of the uterus.

 

Abdominal swelling

Depending on the size and number of fibroids present, the condition can occasionally cause the uterus to grow to the size of a five month pregnancy. This symptom can be observed as an enlarged belly or swelling in the abdomen.

(Yes, I remember wearing my shirts and blouses out and long. I used to feel so embarrassed!)

 

Anemia

The heavy bleeding experienced with fibroids can sometimes cause a woman to become anemic. With heavy menstrual bleeding persisting overtime, the body may not be able to make new blood cells fast enough to replace those that have been lost.

In such instances, some women with fibroids may need to take iron pills to compensate for the loss of blood. At the same time, anemia may also result in fatigue, weakness, fuzzy thinking and moderate to severe light-headedness.

(So yeah, basically what I mentioned earlier.)

  

http://healthremediesjournal.com/11-symptoms-of-fibroids/?utm_campaign=fibroidsymptoms&gclid=CK7nq8WKrdMCFQsQgQodmesI7g

 

http://www.webmd.com/women/uterine-fibroids/

 

 

Articles of note:

https://www.statnews.com/2017/03/27/parents-having-children-live-longer/

 

https://www.rte.ie/entertainment/2017/0325/862542-dawn-oporter/

 

 

 

Until next time! Bye!

 

My contact information:

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @joyandrelevance

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

 

 

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Episode 61–Alternative Nutrition

Hello everyone!

Thank you for visiting another episode of 21st Century Hannah! I appreciate your taking the time to listen in once again. Thank you to my repeat listeners. And if you are listening for the first time, I hope you will come back for another visit!  Remember to tell your friends about the show, and feel free to share to your social media followers! I would appreciate that!

                

  • Well, this is a short episode. We are right in the middle of a mini-series where I am devoting an entire episode each, to the four most familiar infertility disease states; at least what I believe are the most familiar: PCOS, Endometriosis, Miscarriage, and Fibroids.

 

  • We just did the Miscarriage episode, and the final episode in this mini-series will be on Fibroids. But I wanted to stop by with this mini-episode to talk about all the different types of nutritional supplementations that are out there right now.

 

  • The buzz lately has been about gluten free, organic, essential oils, healthy shakes, and smoothies, etc. I will admit I have tried many of these things, and in fact, I do continue to use some things on this list. And while I am not here to sponsor or support any one product, I will say that the healthier we can eat, the better we can treat out bodies, of course, the better we will feel physically.

 

  • As you search for what works for you, be aware of triggers. There are mental and emotional triggers, and there are food triggers. Don’t ignore the triggers.   

 

  • The fact is, as childless not by choice people, we are already feeling a certain way emotionally, mentally, physically; and maybe even spiritually. Opt not add bad eating to that list. The key to living positively in this space is to do our best in each area of our lives.

 

My contact information: 

civilla@civillamorgan.com

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @civilla1

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

 

 

Please help me out by taking this very short survey!

https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah

 

  

Until next time! Bye!

 

Miscarriage–Episode 60:

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Hello everyone!

Thank you for visiting another episode of 21st Century Hannah! I appreciate your taking the time to listen in once again. Thank you to my repeat listeners. And if you are listening for the first time, I hope you will come back for another visit!

Remember to tell your friends about the show, and feel free to share to your social media followers! I would appreciate that!

Welcome to episode 60—Miscarriage

As I did my research for this episode, I started wondering which of these four issues that I discuss in my miniseries of the four most recognized infertility issues is the worst: PCOS, Endometriosis, Miscarriage, or Fibroids.

I mean what’s worst, not being able to get pregnant, or getting pregnant, knowing there is a human being inside you; and then not?

I have my opinion on that, but I will let you decide without my thoughts and opinions coloring the issues.

By the way, don’t forget to check out the following:

  • Monthly newsletter
  • Blogs on both websites
  • Survey link below
  • News stories below
  • Links to two of my previous podcast episodes mentioned in this episode

 

I started my research with statistics because I continue to be intrigued by the high number of miscarriages that take place per number of pregnancies. I believe the reason is because I am thinking of the advances in medicine, i.e. we are in the 21st Century! Shouldn’t things be a lot better than they were in say the 1800’s, even 100 years ago?

But as I continued to research, I realized it was not necessarily about the advances in medicine, but more the imperfections of us, we humans. Our bodies are amazing, from head to toe. But one of the awesome things that our bodies will do and that would create negative emotions is to reject an organism it believes to be foreign. In the case of a miscarriage, that foreign organism may be an embryo with damaged chromosomes. See the full story at http://www.verywell.com where they say in part that ‘Laboratory studies on IVF patients have found that a very large percentage of eggs harbor chromosome abnormalities (the leading cause of miscarriage)…’      

 

My immediate thought was that miscarriage that happens very early in a pregnancy, and the miscarriage that happens later in a pregnancy may result in two different emotional events. Maybe? Tell me what you think. I mean if there is a miscarriage at a chromosomal level, is it different, dare I say easier to deal with than a miscarriage at three or four months?     

 

The statistics per my research on the Very Well website:

The biggest miscarriage risk factor is a mother’s age.

According to the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecologists, the number of miscarriages in the first trimester for women increases dramatically as a woman ages. Here are the statistics showing this rise:

  • age 20 to 30 years: 9 to 17 percent miscarriage rate
  • age 35 years: 20 percent miscarriage rate
  • age 40 years: 40 percent miscarriage rate
  • age 45 years: 80 percent miscarriage rate

 

Bottom line, generally speaking, and you can go back to my episode where I interview Dr. Shari-ann James, 1 in 4 pregnancies will end in miscarriage. 

 

Links to previous episodes mentioned in this episode:

Dr. Emine Cay Masters

Dr. Shari-ann James

 

Research sites:

https://www.verywell.com/making-sense-of-miscarriage-statistics-2371721

 

https://search.cdc.gov/search?query=miscarriage&utf8=%E2%9C%93&affiliate=cdc-main

 

 

Podcast episodes mentioned in this episode:

http://childlessnotbychoice.net/mental-health-in-the-childless-not-by-choice-community-my-interview-with-psychologist-dr-shari-ann-james/

 

http://childlessnotbychoice.net/menopause-infertility-childlessness-my-interview-with-dr-emine-cay-masters/

 

 

News stories and articles of note:

https://infertilemidnightbaker.wordpress.com/2017/03/25/an-open-letter-to-my-fertile-friends/amp/

   

My contact information:

 

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com

 Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @civilla1

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

 

Please help me out by taking this very short survey!

https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah

 

 

Until next time! Bye!

 

Episode 59–Endometriosis

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Episode 59—Endometriosis

Hello everyone!

WELCOME BACK TO 21ST CENTURY HANNAH, WHERE MY MISSION IS TO RECOGNIZE AND SPEAK TO THE BROKEN HEARTS OF CHILDLESS NOT BY CHOICE WOMEN, AND MEN, AROUND THE WORLD.  I AM SPREADING THE GREAT NEWS THAT WE CAN LIVE A JOYFUL AND RELEVANT LIFE REGARDLESS OF THE FACT THAT WE COULD NOT HAVE CHILDREN.

Well, I appreciate your taking the time to listen in once again. Thank you to my repeat listeners. And if you are listening for the first time, I hope you will come back for another visit!

Remember to tell your friends about the show, and feel free to share with your social media followers! I would appreciate that!

Also, if you find value in the content of these podcast episodes, click on the donate button on the website! Donations go toward podcasting equipment and building out the platform to create online courses for women and men who are childless not by choice. I want to create courses that will take my demographic from hopelessness to healing.

Well, today’s episode is all about Endometriosis.

Endometriosis (en-doe-me-tree-O-sis) is an often painful disorder in which tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus — the endometrium — grows outside your uterus. Endometriosis most commonly involves your ovaries, fallopian tubes, and the tissue lining your pelvis. Rarely, endometrial tissue may spread beyond pelvic organs.

With endometriosis, displaced endometrial tissue continues to act as it normally would — it thickens, breaks down and bleeds with each menstrual cycle. Because this displaced tissue has no way to exit your body, it becomes trapped. When endometriosis involves the ovaries, cysts called endometriomas may form. Surrounding tissue can become irritated, eventually developing scar tissue and adhesions — abnormal bands of fibrous tissue that can cause pelvic tissues and organs to stick to each other.

Endometriosis can cause pain — sometimes severe — especially during your period. Fertility problems also may develop. Surprise: Fortunately, effective treatments are available.  I did not realize that effective treatments were available. I honestly thought there was no effective treatment for Endometriosis.    

Some things that surprised me:

  • The severity of your pain isn’t necessarily a reliable indicator of the extent of the condition. Some women with mild endometriosis have intense pain, while others with advanced endometriosis may have little pain or even no pain at all.
  • Endometriosis is sometimes mistaken for other conditions that can cause pelvic pain, such as pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) or ovarian cysts. It may be confused with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), a condition that causes bouts of diarrhea, constipation and abdominal cramping. IBS can accompany endometriosis, which can complicate the diagnosis.

It’s really important to get a second opinion especially if you’re just not feeling that the diagnosis is correct. I truly believe, and I have said it before, no one knows your body better than you do. If you are not convinced about a diagnosis, get a second opinion. 

  

Causes:

Although the exact cause of endometriosis is not certain, possible explanations include:

Retrograde menstruation. 

Transformation of peritoneal cells. 

Embryonic cell transformation. 

Surgical scar implantation. 

Endometrial cells transport. 

Immune system disorder. 

For additional details on each of these causes, see the Mayo Clinic article link in the show notes below.

As I continued my research, I went next to the Hopkins Medicine site, link in the show notes, and found the following risk factors that could cause an increased possibility for a woman to have endometriosis:

Risk Factors of Endometriosis

They say that…

While any woman may develop endometriosis, the following women seem to be at an increased risk for the disease:

  • Women who have a first-degree relative (mother, sister, daughter) with the disease
  • Women who are giving birth for the first time after age 30
  • White women
  • Women with an abnormal uterus

 

Now the following information was of particular interest to me, and I am sure to those who have been diagnosed with Endometriosis:

Relationship of Endometriosis to Infertility:

 

Endometriosis is considered one of the three major causes of female infertility. According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, endometriosis can be found in 24 to 50 percent of women who experience infertility.

In mild to moderate cases, the infertility may be temporary. In these cases, surgery to remove adhesions, cysts and scar tissue can restore fertility. In other cases — a very small percentage — women may remain infertile.

(Hmmmm, kinda sounds like when they told me after one of my first myomectomies, ‘OK, we removed the fibroids, now go out and get pregnant before they grow back.’ Um, OK.

Anyway…

How endometriosis affects fertility is not clearly understood. It is thought that scar tissue from endometriosis can impair the release of the egg from the ovary and subsequent pickup by the fallopian tube. Other mechanisms thought to affect fertility include changes in the pelvic environment that results in impaired implantation of the fertilized egg.

For additional information and ways to ease the pain, visit the link: Hopkins Medicine link below.

Another site you may find helpful is the ACOG, American Congress of Obstetrics and Gynecologists. It’s a site that seems to be regularly updated with educational material and workshops. Check it out!

So I love statistics because they tell a story in numbers. Yes, numbers can be skewed by human mistakes, i.e. mis-count, etc. But numbers, statistics, are the best we have at coming close to perfection.

So, according to additional research:

  • Endometriosis can first occur when girls first get their period.
  • Endometriosis affects176 million women worldwide, and 1 in 10 girls and women in the US.
  • Endometriosis usually causes symptoms during reproductive years (~12-60 years old), however many women and girls are undiagnosed.

The following additional statistics are from the CDC—centers for disease control website:

Because some women might have endometriosis, but do not have symptoms, it is difficult to know exactly how many women have the condition. Current estimates suggest that 6% to 10% of women of reproductive age have endometriosis,1,2 or approximately 5 million women in the United States.

In 2011, the NICHD-led Endometriosis: Natural History, Diagnosis, and Outcomes study found that 11% of a group of women with no symptoms of endometriosis actually had the disorder. If this finding applies to all the women in the United States, the number of American women with endometriosis may well exceed previous estimates of 5 million.

Endometriosis is most common in women in their 30s and 40s,3 but it can affect any female who menstruates.

 

 Information from the following links were used at least in part for my research: 

 

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/endometriosis/home/ovc-20236421

 

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/healthlibrary/conditions/gynecological_health/endometriosis_85,P00573/

 

http://www.acog.org/

 

https://www.cdc.gov/

 

https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/womensrh/healthconcerns.html

 

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/healthlibrary/conditions/gynecological_health/endometriosis_85,P00573/

 

Stories of interest from around the world:  

 

http://www.graphic.com.gh/news/general-news/don-t-ridicule-childless-women.html

 

http://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/what-not-to-say-to-couples-who-don-t-have-children-1.3018634

 

https://www.rte.ie/entertainment/2017/0325/862542-dawn-oporter/

 

 

My contact information:

Website: http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net and http://www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @joyandrelevance

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

 

Please take a moment to take this survey!

https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah

 

I was honored to be one of several female podcasters recognized by Podcast Movement during their Women’s History Month celebration! copy/paste the link below in your browser for details!     


http://podcastmovement.com/pm-celebrates-womens-history-month-she-podcasts/

 

“When someone tells you to just forget about it, ask them what they have forgotten.”—Civilla Morgan

 

Thanks for visiting! Until next time, bye!