Building a New Dream

In every Childless Not by Choice (CNBC) online support group, I’ve seen the question: “Is it possible to find happiness after being CNBC?” A year ago, I believed it was possible, but I couldn’t say that I knew how to get there. Today, I can say that it all came down to building a new dream.

In 2016, my husband and I chose to accept that we were going to be a family of two. 2016 had been a difficult year coming to terms with being childless. As I was closing the door on 2016, I was looking forward to opening a new door in 2017.

My husband and I began to talk about what we wanted for our future, knowing that we needed to create a new dream together. We talked about what we valued, and all the things that no longer mattered. Our three-bedroom home in the family-oriented suburbs seemed too big.  It no longer fit the new life we wanted to build together.  We both fell in love with a city 12 hours away where we could minimize our lifestyle, travel more, and have a life that matched our values.  We have a few things to accomplish before we can move there, but we will make that dream come true!

In building our dream together, I also realized a dream for myself, something I needed to accomplish just for me.  If motherhood wasn’t in the cards, I was going to go back to school and pursue my master’s degree.  When I graduated from university in 1998, there was a fork in the road.  I chose love, marriage, and family; and left behind a dream to further my education.  Since my family became a family of two, I decided to go back to that fork in the road and fulfill the other dream.  In just a couple of weeks, I begin my first class! 

In walking my childless path, building new dreams has given me a new sense of hope and a chance to accomplish something different.  My husband and I found something that we both value, something that would sustain us, together.  I will always quietly mourn the children I dreamed of, but the dreams we’ve built will allow the two of us to live a happy and fulfilled life, because it’s ours, and we chose it together!

Robyn,

Canada

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